Lending money to someone who is a bad risk-but family

hollydays

Just been asked by a relative to lend her some money.I dont have a lot of contact,but she does know of the trauma some of my own family are going through at the moment.She has promised to pay me back next week.I think she has an alcohol problem.I have offered to lend it to her,but will be SO gutted if she doesnt pay me back as she knows any spare money goes to my kids because of the very difficult time they are having at the moment.AM keeping my fingers crossed.Am i doing the right thing..all the previous signs are not good..anyone else been in this situation..anyway I have said yes,after discussing it with OH

Garnet_Gem

I gave a friend some money to help her out but I'm not sure I'd lend money. You become the "bad" person for daring to ask for it back if they don't pay up! I learned this the hard way but I appreciate it's a very difficult situation for you. I hope you get your money repaid without any hassle.

libra10

I don't think I would lend the money having myself lent money to relatives and not had it back. When the money isn't returned it leads to much resentment. Also, if the relative has alcohol problem it could lead to heavier drinking.

Depending on the amount she requires and whether you can risk losing the money, I would be very wary.

Good luck in what you decide to do

Smashing

Never lend money you can't afford to lose.

Honestly, I'd let her know that you are there to support her, but are not in a position to be lending money.

Fancy getting in contact just to borrow money - she's got a bit of a nerve...

AnnieH

I don't think you should lend money you can't afford to spare. If it is family, they should understand but I know it's not always that simple.
Good luck whatever you decide.

windym_2

Never a borrower or lender be. It just adds up to misery.

Bogof_Babe

I agree with everyone else on this thread - lending money is the quickest way to cause ill feeling (either they don't pay it back and you have to ask, or they resent the fact that they have to pay it back).

If she is absolutely desperate, i.e. no food in the house, then maybe make up a little hamper of groceries for her. On no account give her money that will undoubtedly be spent on booze.

Don't feel guilty about refusing - you would be doing her no favours in the long run.

Slapps

if you feel the need to help her then why not offer to go with her to pay or buy what she is wanting, that way you know that it's not going on the drink.

katiesmummy

Bogof_Babe wrote: »

I agree with everyone else on this thread - lending money is the quickest way to cause ill feeling (either they don't pay it back and you have to ask, or they resent the fact that they have to pay it back).

If she is absolutely desperate, i.e. no food in the house, then maybe make up a little hamper of groceries for her. On no account give her money that will undoubtedly be spent on booze.

Don't feel guilty about refusing - you would be doing her no favours in the long run.

i agree with this one- in the past i have majorly struggled for money, and i hate borrowing money under any circumstances, so what my mum used to do sometimes was do an online tesco order and have it delivered to my house- that way i wasnt borrowing any money, and my mum was happy as she knew that dd and i had food in the fridge

hollydays

I dont live anyware near to her-I dread even asking her what its for-actually she said"you wouldnt want to know",she is a bit of a walter mitty fantasist.I am speaking to her tonight-I expect she will tell me some heavies are after her etc etc.I am unlikely to get the truth.Also,i dont feel its right to ask someone what they want the money for-Or should I? no,as i said ,pointless,

Bogof_Babe

"you wouldn't want to know" :eek:

Actually you would, seeing as it's your money she's after.

Sorry, warning bells are deafening me here.