Been an idiot to my gf and want to say sorry

comeandgo

Ok Tom, my advise is just keep up the texting with your ex girlfriend - keepthings friendly but dont push it any further yet. Clingy is not a nice atribute for a man to have, too much mummy son relationship. Let her make the next positive move.

*max*

So you're not O.N then? I'll eat my hat...

Kynthia

I see it so often that a guy wants to end the relationship while the women wants to make it work. They try for a while but then the man finally ends it and the woman agrees as she's had enough by then. The guy regrets it a few weeks later and spends months hanging round her, calls and texts occasionally, even may cry on a mutual friend's shoulder and generally is a bit of a nuisance. The women is friendly as he's someone she cared about, but emotionally has moved on and really doesn't want him back. She's happy, socialising and doing new things. This obviously isn't all men, women and relationships but it is a pattern I've seen numerous times. So unless the women is more than friendly and unless both can see that whatever caused the problem in the relationship has really changed, getting back together is unlikely to happen or work.

victory

Tiglath wrote: »

Are you the chap who was going to give numerous Valentines presents over a couple of weeks to his ex-girlfriend in an effort to get her back? I apologise if you're not, because he came across as a bit of a stalker, to be honest.

I thought exactly the same thing, this rings so familiar, so deja vu, I posted loads in that thread, I feel he never listened then....

I also apologize unreservedly if this is not the same poster...

victory

*max* wrote: »

So you're not O.N then? I'll eat my hat...

uhm.....................

emsywoo123

victory wrote: »

I thought exactly the same thing, this rings so familiar, so deja vu, I posted loads in that thread, I feel he never listened then....

I also apologize unreservedly if this is not the same poster...

Yup, same here. Maybe there's a lot of clingy men about who realise the error of their ways and reform in a very short space of time and resolve those issues, and then turn to Money Saving Expert for advice on gestures they could offer to win their exes back without appearing clingy.

So common. Who knew.

Nada666

TomBowler wrote: »

Long time lurker

Good to see you immediately got to the point and didn't bother posting an extended essay.

mucklebones

If it would make you feel better I think you could say sorry for being a jerk. But then leave it!!

I think you can now see your mistakes but sometimes the only way you will learn from them is the hard way.

Time will tell, if your lucky she might come to you.

As for emailing you about Game of Thrones, I believe you could be reading too much into it. She probably just does not want ill feeling between you both, unfortunately ex`s mean well to remain friends but in reality it does not happen often as someone just cant let go..like yourself perhaps.

Let go before the damage is irreparable.

MrsDrink

mucklebones wrote: »

If it would make you feel better I think you could say sorry for being a jerk. But then leave it!!

I agree. I wouldn't write anything, ever, full stop. But I may say (to her in person) in a few weeks time a simple "sorry I was a....." (fill in the blank). And leave it at that. No in depth over analysis of everything you believe she thinks you did wrong. No attempt at persuading her to forgive you and take her back. Just a simple 'sorry'.

podperson

Tbh I think it perhaps depends on what you're thinking will come out of sending her an apology. If you do genuinely feel bad about the way you treated her and want to apologise so that she knows that then maybe send her a short message along the lines of 'I've realised that I did act like a jerk when we were together and I just want you to know that I'm sorry for that.' maybe with the added 'I really appreciate that you're still willing to be friends'. Don't turn it into a 10 page saga on every little thing that you did, just short and sweet. Personally (and I seem to be going against the grain here) I would appreciate that from an ex.

However, that wouldn't mean I would want to get back together with them - so if that's the only reason you want to apologise than I would leave it for now as it's likely you may feel upset/disappointed if you don't get the reaction you want. If you have expectations beyond simply apologising for the sake of it (and that doesn't mean you're a bad person just that you may not be able to take that step back from it yet) then you may end up making her feel pressured and you don't want to make things worse.