feel like i need the world to stop turning

floss2

Big gentle hug Lou - do you have a CPN who you can talk to? And have you considered contacting the NSPCC to talk to their 24 hour helpline for adults who have been through similar experiences?

Thinking of & praying for you
Floss xx

Loulou2010

will try and remember everything

the boys are with their dad 3 days a week. he will come in the evenings after he's finished work if i asked him. he suffers with depression as well. just the stress of outting up with me he is seeing a counsellor as well. i hope that in time we will get back together.

i did have a cpn but she left and never replaced properly despite promises that she would be. i feel like i have gone through every route in the system and now they have given up with me. i still see my pysch every few months but all she seems to do is up my meds. this is the reason im paying for a counsellor now rather than going through the nhs. the hv calls ocassionally or will ask how things are if i take the baby to the clinic to get weighed. but its hard to talk to her when there are lots of people about.

today has been better. wednesdays seem to be better days as i am busy all day. still not wanting to eat but managed a bit of soup earlier. we've all been home an hr and already feeling that the 4yr old is trying to wind me up. i try to give him some one to one so that he gets some individual attention but just doesnt feel gd enough for him. he still has to answer back, be rude etc. we've never had trouble with behaviour before so has come as a bit of a shock.

i know i just have to keep going but its jsut so exhausting. i'm trying to be really honest about how i feel but struggling. part of me thinks hoe awful i am for thinking the way i do but another part also thinks i cant be the first to feel like this. why does it feel so wrong that i am seeing a counsellor? that i am struggling?

floss2

Lou, is your older one at nursery? Is his behaviour the same there as at home or could he be struggling to understand and cope with not having his daddy around as much as previously?

Hopefully the weather will pick up so you can get out with the boys, maybe go to the park or playground.

Gentle hugs, I hope you begin to feel a bit more settled and the sunshine over the weekend helps.

Floss xx

tayforth

I just want to offer my support to you as well. You've had an incredibly hard time, it can't be easy to cope.

Be kind to yourself, and do seek help xxx

nlj1520

Loads of sympathy, I can't imagine how bad it all was in your childhood. Agree with the posters who say you need to talk to your GP as soon as you feel able to.
Lots of hugs and good vibes from me.

Yorkie1

Is there a local sure start centre which you could get some help from?

June_Cambridge

So sorry to hear all that you have been through and are still going through, can your husbands family take the children for a few hours or days so that you could both have some time together? My thoughts are with you, I think you should ask your Guardian Angel for help, I do whenever I am struggling, you'd be surprised what a difference it makes. Hope you feel a little better tomorrow x

Loulou2010

The older one is at nursery for two and a half days a week. Home all day today. The weather is wet and miserable and I've had very little sleep.

The events in the news have me worrying. The boys were with thrir day yrsterday and I struggled to let them go. Spent all day worrying and panicking that something wad going to happen to them. In the news its all murders, child abuse etc. I don't know why this particular event has affected me like it has.

So yesterday was pretty awful. Yet I'm not looking forward to today. I'm too tired to think. I can feel I am going to have little patience. The oldest is going to excited because he has a treat tomorrow. I just want to stay in bed right now and leave them to it. Yeah I know that makes me a bad mother. I don't need anybody to tell me that. Although would be nice for someone to reinforce my belief there.

Someone mentioned surestart. We go to a family centre twice s week for a couple of groups. I missed one this week as I couldn't face going. Yeah bad mum again.

Tigsteroonie

torbrex wrote: »

Hi Lou
Sorry to hear that you are still so low, I have often thought about you and wondered how you were coping.
I won't try to talk you out of anything, just to let you know that I hear you.

Loulou, is that you? I thought you'd disappeared off MSE completely! I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling If things feel better on busy days, could you try to make more days 'busy' by organising things for the three of you to do? Or perhaps arrange for a babysitter (the Dad) for your youngest for a couple of hours so that you and the 4yo can go out somewhere fun?

Sorry, I'm not good on suggestions other than please ignore all horrible stuff you hear on the news, try to keep a balanced view about it - for every tale you hear about someone hurt/in trouble in this country, there are millions who have had a good day. Nobody every reports good news!

torbrex

Just ignore the TV news Lou, I have been ignoring it for years and it seldom has any influence on my life any more and as for the papers, they ultimately only have one useful use and toilet paper is softer anyway.

I was always led to believe that there is no such thing as a bad mother, you have already done the hard part by bringing you family into the world and the rest is just what you can make of it, no rights or wrongs, good or bad.

Your eldest boy hopefully should settle down a bit when he gets to be around more children for longer periods once he get to school. You mentioned to me a couple of years ago that he seemed a little hyper, did you ever get that checked?