I dont want to feel sad anymore!

dukeboxx

I agree, happiness is wanting what you have.

Hillbilly1

PinotGrigio41 wrote: »

I think your friends are my friends Hillbilly !!! :rotfl:

Maybe! Or there are growing numbers of those just ignoring the issue!

ciderwithrosie_2

In January 2007, after spending out on Christmas and realising I was now at my limits on all 3 credit cards, which I'd been using to pay other bills, just robbing Peter to pay Paul, I decided that was it, we couldn't go on with paying out virtually all of my salary each month (and I'm the bigger earner) on a bank loan, the 3 credit cards and 2 catalogues. When I totted it all up it came to £55,000 - I was genuinely shocked (I feel embarrassed now admitting I had no idea how much we owed). Am much more financially savvy now.

We'd spent pretty much all of our marriage in some debt or other, had 3 kids along the way. I was a SAHM for 7 years and the OH had a long spell unemployed and was also off work sick for a year, so our finances were a mess because we'd never taken responsibility for it, there was always consolidation loans or another credit card!

Anyway, I wrote to all my creditors and explained my sitiuation, sent them a statement of affairs and proposed my own dmp. I still had no idea how long it would take me to pay it off but it gave us some breathing space. To cut a long story short(er) we went into an IVA about 18 months later, paying £470 a month for 5 years.

Luckily, we've managed to stay healthy and employed (I also work for the NHS) and next month is our final payment!!

At times it's been hard, the house (decorating/furnishings) has suffered and especially trying to support our eldest through Uni, not only financially but I got treated like scum on the phone by a letting agent who my son was trying to rent a house with his uni mates from and I filled out a form to be his guarantor, virtually accusing me of trying to commit fraud. They nearly lost the house because of this, fortunately my brother saved the day and kindly stepped in as his guarantor.
That was a bad day!!

Still, we've made it, and five years has gone pretty quickly really. The firm our IVA is with have been great, they're not a charity one but were recommended by the CAB and have been very fair and helpful throughout.

Your story sounded similar to ours, and I wish you well on your journey to debt freedom, you WILL get there!

regards CWR

Cookiecat_2

I have been moved to tears today reading all the lovely posts. Thank you all so much! It is truly wonderful to suddenly have an outlet such as this to share thoughts and feelings about our journeys, most people here have felt the ups and downs it seems. I can now change my status from voyeur to participant, and that feels good. I mentioned before about this sensation I often have of being a voyeur of other peoples lives, as if mine has ceased to exist, and I feel like a tiny dot. Of course I wish this had never happened to me or my family, debt it would seem is one of the last taboos. How does it go from being ever so slightly cool to be maxed out on you card from shopping till you dropped as a 20 something, to being full of shame, and despair at 40 something? When i was in my darkest of moments I truly understood why people chucked the towel in, and took a dive off beachy head ( luckily this was only a passing thought never an action plan). This in itself was a revelation for me and an insight I am now glad to own in view of my particular field of work. Life is a funy old game. C x

Stewart_78

I think what gets me down sometimes is that I never seem to make a breakthrough. I'm currently clearing about £900 of debt per month with the mortgage, payplan and a business loan and that's a lot of money. But we are just coping as a family and it's on the edge all the time. I can't vary the mortgage or business loan so that's it.

But although I am paying off £900 a month, it makes no difference to my day to day life and won't for many, many years as all are so long term.

But you have to keep the faith and carry on. Try to enjoy the better things in life that are free. We've taken up hobbies such as chickens (free eggs), making wine and growing more veg / fruit etc.

I wish I could find a way to break just one of my debts but all the money just goes into the pot and pays a little bit off each. It's bleak sometimes and then sometimes I don't care.

It's about mind management I think but I haven't got there yet. You know, even when you are debt free, there is still pressure. Still the bills come in but I guess it's a damn site easier month to month.

I'm constantly looking inside myself and finding a way to be happy with my lot as it's not bad compared to probably most of the population of this planet. I'm sure 90% if them would swap with me in a heartbeat.