Relationship Advice

Hanging_by_a_thread

Your wife is treating you really shabbilly. You dont behave in the ways she is with someone you love and care for. I also think there is more to this and it is possible she could be having an affair. Get to the bottom of it is my advice OP and stop letting her treat you like a mug.

Dunroamin

Are you still trying for a baby?

marisco_2

abailey54 wrote: »

Has your wife long been in her thirties? Some women go a bit loopy when they turn 30 for a while

:huh:

I know plenty of people who have manged to turn 30 without it having an overly adverse effect on them.

Waving goodbye to your 20s isn't that much of a life changing experience. Certainly no excuse for someone to completely withdraw from their life partner and only think of themselves.

abailey54

marisco wrote: »

:huh:

I know plenty of people who have manged to turn 30 without it having an overly adverse effect on them.

Waving goodbye to your 20s isn't that much of a life changing experience. Certainly no excuse for someone to completely withdraw from their life partner and only think of themselves.

Woah there, i said some women. I embraced turning 30 but I know of several who chose this age to start acting like selfish teenagers. It does not justify their behaviour, infact to me behaving like a teenager is only justified when you are one. The fact is some women DO struggle with leaving their twenties and in this case there is a clear behaviour change, so something must be driving it, I think a coming of age crisis is just as likely as someone having an affair

make_me_wise

I hope you manage to talk it all through with your wife OP and get back on track. Your relationship cant carry on as it is or you will both totally drift apart.

[Deleted User]

Oh dear , it doesn't sound good , she is not putting much thought into your happiness or needs or feelings etc

She is pretty much living the life of a single person & even if no affair ( hopefully .....or I hate to say it , but YET ) there could definitely be some flirting going on and BEHAVING like a single person while she is out

She is showing no regard for you basically and a relationship is not a one way street

I would put my foot down if I were you as you could be wasting your time as she is doing her own thing and going her own way which is not in the right or same direction as you as a couple

If she is behaving like a single person , then give her what she wants if it carries on , but you have to put your foot down for her to respect you otherwise she will just walk all over you and have her cake and eat it which neither sex can do if they want a happy marriage!!

ruby-roo_2

The first year of married life shouldn't be like this OP. You are pretty much leading seperate lives and she isn't considering you at all. That is just plain selfish in my book.

DaveTheGeordie

This is why I abstain from relationships now. I've completely opted out. I'm genuinely sorry about your situation, it's really common nowadays.

The reality of the situation is that women know they can take the !!!! now, and they will if it pleases them. Women just aren't raised to respect men anymore. The media demonises us, crooked politicians play the 'more women in x role' female vote pandering and girls grow up listening to crappy Beyonce songs and it is primarily due to that despicable ideology of feminism.

If a man complains: he is treating his woman as an object. He's possesive. He doesn't respect her individuality. He's a control freak.

If a man cheats you can almost guarantee it's 1-way cheating !!!!!!! rhetoric. The situation, being denied access to sex and getting nothing else out of the relationship. Fear of losing kids. Trying to make a dead relationship work out. It's all irrelevant in subconscious man hating feminism raised 'girl power' , 'strong single mother!' eyes.

If you get divorced, statistically you've an 82% chance of losing your kids and there are huge divorce court biases v men.

I'm sorry for the politics but I wanted to illustrate the point.

I don't think you can fix this. Your wife does sound the self centred party girl type. I'm also sorry if I sound like I'm being rude. From what you describe it genuinely sounds like she is taking liberties.

My advice is to start putting money away. Genuinely. Literally. Don't put it in an account of your own. Give it to your parents to hold or put it in a secret stash you're certain won't be found. This is for before the divorce comes, if that's not explicit.

Happiness comes from within. I know it sounds kind of new age spirituality cornball but it is absolutely true. No one else should have the key to your happiness. If you're dependent on someone else for your happiness then I would argue that you aren't truly happy. I think self actualisation from psychology is a good general guiding point.

I would personally never get married. I think marriage should be a personal union between two people, not a contract with the state. I strongly suggest to any men curious on what is really happening to look up some feminist criticism videos on youtube, look into female hypergamy studies and watch/read up on MGTOW , mens rights/MRM.

I'd like to see people going into relationships to think more rationally also. People think from the heart, they hypnotise each other instead of learning about each others value systems. Their political views, how will you raise your children etc. No one talks about that stuff, it's all laughs and smiles and hormones. Don't believe me check everyones dating profiles online right now. It's all entertainment focused. If people got to know each others values better there would be less upset later on. There's a great book by Harry Browne. I think it was written in the 70's. It explains a lot on this 'How I found Freedom in an Unfree word'. It's actually a libertarian sort of book but it explains a lot of morality, value, traps. Projection etc. I also recommend listening to what Jacque Fresco says on values.

Probably be hated for that but I do want to help.

marisco_2

DaveTheGeordie wrote: »

The reality of the situation is that women know they can take the !!!! now, and they will if it pleases them. Women just aren't raised to respect men anymore.

I would just like to say that not all women are like this. I was raised to respect people regardless of their gender. This came about by always having excellent examples shown to me by my family and their friends of how to treat others, conduct myself and to behave with decency and integrity in any relationships I went on to have. Its about having respect for yourself and going through life with morals and values.

Orlando_Virgin

DaveTheGeordie wrote: »

This is why I abstain from relationships now. I've completely opted out. I'm genuinely sorry about your situation, it's really common nowadays.

The reality of the situation is that women know they can take the !!!! now, and they will if it pleases them. Women just aren't raised to respect men anymore. The media demonises us, crooked politicians play the 'more women in x role' female vote pandering and girls grow up listening to crappy Beyonce songs and it is primarily due to that despicable ideology of feminism.

If a man complains: he is treating his woman as an object. He's possesive. He doesn't respect her individuality. He's a control freak.

If a man cheats you can almost guarantee it's 1-way cheating !!!!!!! rhetoric. The situation, being denied access to sex and getting nothing else out of the relationship. Fear of losing kids. Trying to make a dead relationship work out. It's all irrelevant in subconscious man hating feminism raised 'girl power' , 'strong single mother!' eyes.

If you get divorced, statistically you've an 82% chance of losing your kids and there are huge divorce court biases v men.

I'm sorry for the politics but I wanted to illustrate the point.

I don't think you can fix this. Your wife does sound the self centred party girl type. I'm also sorry if I sound like I'm being rude. From what you describe it genuinely sounds like she is taking liberties.

My advice is to start putting money away. Genuinely. Literally. Don't put it in an account of your own. Give it to your parents to hold or put it in a secret stash you're certain won't be found. This is for before the divorce comes, if that's not explicit.

Happiness comes from within. I know it sounds kind of new age spirituality cornball but it is absolutely true. No one else should have the key to your happiness. If you're dependent on someone else for your happiness then I would argue that you aren't truly happy. I think self actualisation from psychology is a good general guiding point.

I would personally never get married. I think marriage should be a personal union between two people, not a contract with the state. I strongly suggest to any men curious on what is really happening to look up some feminist criticism videos on youtube, look into female hypergamy studies and watch/read up on MGTOW , mens rights/MRM.

I'd like to see people going into relationships to think more rationally also. People think from the heart, they hypnotise each other instead of learning about each others value systems. Their political views, how will you raise your children etc. No one talks about that stuff, it's all laughs and smiles and hormones. Don't believe me check everyones dating profiles online right now. It's all entertainment focused. If people got to know each others values better there would be less upset later on. There's a great book by Harry Browne. I think it was written in the 70's. It explains a lot on this 'How I found Freedom in an Unfree word'. It's actually a libertarian sort of book but it explains a lot of morality, value, traps. Projection etc. I also recommend listening to what Jacque Fresco says on values.

Probably be hated for that but I do want to help.

Dave, TAKE A CHILL PILL. And I'm sorry that chick broke your heart!

OP, sounds to me like your girlfriend is going through either a phase where she is trying to re-live her youth that she will snap out of, or she is negatively reacting to commitment and marriage by what she is doing. I'm not going to lie to you, the worst case of all this is that she is doing all this because she doesn't want the marriage, house, maybe even you?

The best case is that it's just a short term wobble. Either way you need to sit her down and have a frank talk about how you're feeling. You don't deserve to feel like that.