Am I paying "too much" to her?

krashovrload

clearingout wrote: »

for every ex 'couple' in the situation you describe, there is a NRP living it up with the 'other person', whilst a cheated on PWC struggles to work full time, juggle childcare and keep a roof over their children's heads. Usually without maintenance from the other parent, or if paid, paid at the £5 rate.

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I'm sure you're quite correct in your assertion. I'm sure we could spend all day coming up with variations on the PWC vs NRP household finance situation but I'm not sure we'd add much value to the thread in doing so...

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kevin137

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

If the OP pays as CM. and not a div then the ex is ENTITLED to that plus any benefits she may be ENTITLED to. She wont be ripping off the government, its her ENTITLEMENT.

Your post is utterly ridiculous. She hasn't committed any fraud, there is no evidence that the children should be taken away from her and given to the OP and why on earth should she be put in prison?

Unbelievable! Your worst post of 'advice' EVER!

The OP clearly stated WE BOTH DRAW A DIVIDEND so why should i believe otherwise...???

And if in fact it is paid as a dividend, then yes i stand by what i say...!

If it is NOT paid as a dividend, then the OP will clearly find that he could accumulate a huge debt of unpaid dividend, or be a party to fraud for falsifying accounts...!

How is it so hard to fathom that it is not right...

Other than that did i not say to get legal advise and a second opinion on that advice if needed...?

You know how easy it is to be screwed as a PWC, and you know how easy the CSA get there figures wrong, but god forbid if a PWC does anything wrong, then it MUST be the NRP that has caused the situation...!!!

EclipsedMind

@OP
I can see that the desire for a clean break is strong and makes good sense to you but if she does not agree I doubt you will get one through court. Also if you are advocating clean break it makes no sense for you to pay the mortgage and thus maintain a tie.

I would think you are should anticipate you will be hit with Spousal maintenance of a fairly sizeable amount. In addition if there is no CSA case then the court can order the child maintenance as they see fit and you will be stuck with it for a year before CSA can take over.

Pension provision and assets would need to be disclosed and will be an unfavourable split for you due to the children's needs.

I would suggest you both get proper legal advice on resolving the financial aspects of your divorce. Even if she agrees, to your proposal, if she has not had legal advice it could later be overturned.

I hope it stays friendly and you can sort things out by agreement.

EM

SuziQ

It isn't just about her having the same life as before though- you have kids together . If you could afford it,mwouldnt you want them to have the same lifestyle they enjoyed when you were a married couple? Money doesn't seem to be a major issue here, compared to lots of couple who split.

And by the way, I hate comments like 'plenty to get her hair done'.

I bet you never complained about her spending money to look good when you were still a couple! Why should that stop now you aren't ? As you no longer getting your hair cut and having a shave?

My ex husband refused to pay any maintenance because he said I would spend it on myself- despite the fact he knew when we were together I was never high maintenance and most of our marriage earned more or the same as him and it ALL went into our life together. I was lucky that I had a good job and threw it all back in his face by building a great life for my children despite his meanness. Not all women however are lucky enough to be in the position I was with my career.

Finally I am not surprised she no longer works in the business. Once a marriage ends it is very difficult to continue working together .

mania112

kevin137 wrote: »

Personally, i would be applying for custody, reporting her for fraud and making sure she ended up in prison...!

and that's why you're single (probably).

Can you work out how much tax they will be paying versus how much they're potentially taking back in credits.

You're talking as if Dividends are tax free. You're talking like someone who has that much income doesn't give back in Fuel Tax, VAT, Corporation Tax, Capital Gains Tax (and on and on).

Do you think the government still come out on top with this family? I certainly do.

You should be preaching against those who take MUCH more than they provide. Not those earning a decent living.

This is getting way off topic, so that's all i'll say on the matter.

kevin137

mania112 wrote: »

and that's why you're single (probably).

You couldn;t be further from the truth, i have children of my own, but i am in a relationship with someone who has 2 kids by someone else, and he doesn't pay a penny, he works full time, has the kids 1 week of every 2 and it works very well.

But then i don't live in the UK anymore, because i had enough of pay for this pay for that and take take take from the government to pay for people who had no income, i also got fed up of seeing brand new cars on council estates, and people signing on and claiming benefits while working cash and making a mockery of the system...

And just so you know, it is attitudes like this that make it acceptable, so what if they pay £2000 + in tax a month on the £8000 income they have. that does not make it right to claim tax credits when you are not entitled too it, and it may well be off topic for you, but it was posted in a public forum by the OP who also stated in a following post that it is not him that is claiming the tax credits, so if he is not a party to it, then she is breaking the law, or fiddling her figures, not declaring or he is not paying it as a dividend, whatever way it is. IT IS WRONG...!!!

So think about, the overcrowded class with 40 pupils, or your 5 hour wait in A&E and then think, that £500 a month, is almost half the wage of another nurse, or a 3rd of another teacher, and don't ever complain again...

PreludeForTimeFeelers

Sounds like you believe some of the myths about the benefits situation in the uk...

mania112

PreludeForTimeFeelers wrote: »

Sounds like you believe some of the myths about the benefits situation in the uk...

And he's bu**ered off so has no place to criticise those of us who are contributing to the economy.

kevin137

mania112 wrote: »

And he's bu**ered off so has no place to criticise those of us who are contributing to the economy.

Yes i !!!!!!ed off, because the UK has become such a joke, lets face it, the benefit system is crazy people don't want to work and society, as i have already said, deem it OK to be able to be like this...

Do i want to keep paying the same tax, having the services cut, and see all my neighbours dosing at home while i go to work...???

NO THANK YOU...!!!

I worked for 27 years in the UK, sometimes 3 jobs... So people can take my hard earned money and give it to lazy no good bums and benefit cheats...?

Where i live now, society does NOT accept that, and if you have a car etc, you are expected to sell that before you are entitled to benefits, people PAY child support and society frowns on lazy bums... They still exist, but very very few of them...!!!

That does not stop me being entitled to having an opinion, about how wrong it is...

RedSky

I'm with Kevin to certain extent. Regardless of myths, what people have paid into the system and what people are entitled to; I am of the opinion that receiving benefits is not a life choice or a get rich scheme. If you don't need them then don't take them.