Am I paying "too much" to her?

Tiggs_2

Situation is simple enough - 20 years married, 4 kids. Me and wifey are co-directors in a business.....that since we separated she has ceased to work for so I generate 100% of the income now.

Currently - I rent and she chills at home .....we both draw a div from our company of about 3-4k per month, each. For her that covers the mortgage and all bills and leaves plenty to get her hair done

My plan now is that I need to move towards divorce (I had hoped to try again, but she isnt keen)

I looked on the CSA website and, stone me, the legal obligation I have seems quite low???? I assumed with 4 kids I'd be paying her most of my money......but it looks like thats not the case and single mums get quite a grim deal?

She helped me build my business by raising the kids while I worked so I want her to be comfy....however, she also wants to walk away from it so she cant expect to have a lifestyle on a parr with had she stayed.

My plan was to cover the mortgage until the kids are gone from the house (youngest is 6) then she can keep the house and the equity and do what she wants (prob about £150k in it right now....or she could sell now and take the cash)

On top of the mortgage (£1k per month) I was going to pay another £1.5k a month.......with tax credits she'll get another £500 ish and child benifit too. Now, thats not quite what she picks up right now so my fear was she'd kick off and be right to do so......but my limited reading on this seems to suggest that a free house, £1.5k from me, £500 tax credits and £300 kid benifits (and she could always get a job!) is actually a deal she would be daft to argue with?

WOuld that be a fair assessment?

I'm seeing a solicitor soon but just wanted peoples "real world" feelings on it? Sometimes you cant see the wood for the trees and hearing others opinions (at least on what seems fair and what isnt) helps greatly!

krashovrload

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If you can reach an agreement you're both happy with and can afford then pay that. If you can't then the PWC can use the CSA but as you say - it'll probably be lower than the figure you had in mind to pay...

Bear in mind that child maintenance (under the current CSA thinking) is just that and that you shouldn't be paying to support the PWCs lifestyle. Arrangements that you make in the divorce will be totally seperate (and will be most likely be ignored in any calculations they make)...

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kevin137

My thinking is that you/she/both of you are the reason the UK is in the mess it is in...

TAX CREDITS...???

With that as an income...???

!!!!!!...!!!

I am not having a go, as that is what you are entitled to (maybe), but i believe it is WRONG that you can have that income and she is claiming tax credits, but on the flip side, you are paying way too much.

IF she goes to the CSA, then she is entitled to 25% of you net income, i am not so sure how that works with dividends as they can vary but the long and short of it, is it sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it...!!!

You can indeed make arrangement for Child Support through the courts with a cash settlement, which would indeed probably be the house, but then 1 year and 1 day she can claim through the CSA as well...

I understand wanting to support your kids, and that she helped build your business, but if she walked away from you and the business then that is her choice... And you should now consider that if you want to move on, and you do build a new relationship in the future, and the kids grow up, will she still expect that you support her then...??? Just a thought. Support your kids yes, give her what is fair yes, but do not be a meal ticket for the rest of your life...

krashovrload

kevin137 wrote: »

I understand wanting to support your kids, and that she helped build your business, but if she walked away from you and the business then that is her choice... And you should now consider that if you want to move on, and you do build a new relationship in the future, and the kids grow up, will she still expect that you support her then...??? Just a thought. Support your kids yes, give her what is fair yes, but do not be a meal ticket for the rest of your life...

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I was going to put like that but comments like that tend to attract a lot of flak (and it's a bit early for that kind of excitement)

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BJV

You had me until you mentioned tax credits!.

Was with you all the way. But if your company can afford to pay why should we?

She did help you build the business and sorry but building a business is not easy it is not a monday to friday 9 to 5 and switch off situation.

Why not just try to reach an agreement without the credits?

Sorry missed the Co-director bit? What percentage does she own?

Tiggs_2

I hear all of you......the tax credits thing is simply the case. She'd be entitled and would claim them - not my call.

In fact, it could be worse.....I'll pay maintenance by way of a div from the company so she has to claim that as income and her credits will drop. If I pay her from my pocket it is NO DECLARED in law...so she could get as much maintenance as I like to pay and still get credits as though she had zero income! Crazy, but true

zzzLazyDaisy

I think you are missing the point. CSA relates only to child support.

As part of the divorce all assets, savings, etc will form part of the pot to be divided, this includes the marital homes, the business, any savings and investments in the name of either party, and pensions. She is a co-director and has an interest in the business, regardless of whether she is currently working for the company or not. The split may be 50/50 but where there are dependent children the split is often uneven in the PWC's favour. In addition, where the children have experienced a lifestyle as a result of living in a high income family (private education, horse ownership etc) it is advisable to try and come to some arrangement about these additional expenses as failure to do so will often result in the court will making an order for the NRP to continue to fund these additional expenses, over and above the child maintenance.

I suggest that you get independent legal advice from a specialist divorce lawyer.

Tiggs_2

That makes sense - but the business has no capital value. Its a service company. If I stop working the income is zero and the value is zero.....so she'll not gain much going after it. The house, the equity...extra fro the kids...she's welcome to it. My future will be based on what I earn from now on....she can have every penny we made to this point.

kevin137

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

I think you are missing the point. CSA relates only to child support.

As part of the divorce all assets, savings, etc will form part of the pot to be divided, this includes the marital homes, the business, any savings and investments in the name of either party, and pensions. She is a co-director and has an interest in the business, regardless of whether she is currently working for the company or not. The split may be 50/50 but where there are dependent children the split is often uneven in the PWC's favour. In addition, where the children have experienced a lifestyle as a result of living in a high income family (private education, horse ownership etc) it is advisable to try and come to some arrangement about these additional expenses as failure to do so will often result in the court will making an order for the NRP to continue to fund these additional expenses, over and above the child maintenance.

I suggest that you get independent legal advice from a specialist divorce lawyer.

And i am sure that as a working partner, the OP could decide to pay himself a wage instead of dividend, and run a company car, and have higher expenses etc, and as the OP has already stated, as a service company with no value, this could easily benefit him and not the PWC as has been proved time and time again...

Be careful and get more legal advice, even second opinions on legal advice if need be, there are many ways that you can lose the clothes you are wearing...

I understand fully the want to support your kids, but if you give her the house, then child support is basically ALL you would need to provide legally...!!! WHat you do morally is a different thing all together, but protect yourself 1st, then pay extra after... It is a far better thing to do, rather than give it all away now, and then have nothing left should anything go wrong...!

Divorce is not necessarily a higher percentage to the PWC now, and if you go through the CSA before divorce, then the court cannot award more in leu of CS, which as already stated, can be a whole heap of cash equity or other and then 1 year and 1 day she could open a CSA case and get it all again, this breeds resentment, and will make for bad feelings...

My advice, though not always right, would be at least get the CSA side of things sorted, and keep business home etc separate... That way you will be already taking care of the kids. You can get an assessment done through the CSA and use something called Maintenance Direct, this means it is assessed by the CSA but you pay her and not the CSA, with payments clearly marked child support there can be no argument.

And it keeps the court well clear of CS and means a fairer divorce proceedings.

This may mean that she will not get as much, but be sensible you are not her keeper, you are trying to move on, and she wants the money but not you... What does that tell you...

Thegirl

Check out Wikivorce and pose the same question there. You should get some informed answers there also some suggestions as to potential problems you might face.
For example, I think paying her via the company sounds like a good solution. Except written down on paper in the terms of the divorce it means she is unprotected if the company goes bust. So doubtful her solicitor will go for it? That's not a statement of fact (I don't know enough to know if that is a problem), just a pitfall I see.

My thought are that the offer you are suggesting is a good one. However, people are strangely greedy when it comes to divorce. Plus all her friends will tell her that she's entitled to everything. Because EVERYONE knows someone who got everything whilst their ex-husband lives in a shoe box on the street....

You are clearly not trying to screw her over and are trying to do what is best for her and the kids. As long as you both attempt to keep that in mind, hopefully you'll end up somewhere amicable.

Good luck.

krashovrload

Thegirl wrote: »

Because EVERYONE knows someone who got everything whilst their ex-husband lives in a shoe box on the street....

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I used to work with that guy (back in the 90s and under CSA1 rules) - wife had an affair and ended the marriage. He left her in the family home as she had the 3 children to look after whilst he ended up in a cramped bedsit and then he got clobbered by the CSA for maintenance...

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