Interfering in house move

CH27

Mojisola wrote: »

Why? The house move to a bungalow is for the mother's benefit and to get away from horrible neighbours. What does it matter what any siblings think?

They could just be showing concern as I would expect from somebody's children.

Hermia

Mojisola wrote: »

When people interfere like this but you don't want to upset them, use the "broken record" technique. Have a couple of stock phrases "I've already thought that through"/"I've taken advice about that" or whatever will trip off your tongue. When they start, spout your phrase and change the subject or quickly finish the call. They'll get the message eventually.

If your mother can't use the same phrases, get her to say "You'll have to talk to AutumnMist about that" and then you can use one of your phrases.

The broken record technique and stock phrases just work so well. If you just keep saying the same thing over and over people do just give up. The other thing is to be flippant which I find works with some people. For example, if they start going on about flooding say "brilliant, I've always wanted to live by the sea!". I find if you say it in the right way people do give up.

Mojisola

CH27 wrote: »

They could just be showing concern as I would expect from somebody's children.

If their concern was genuine, I'd have expected them to rally round and be supportive when AutumnMist and her mother were being bullied by the neighbours.

If people can't help when help is needed, I wouldn't want to hear their views about decisions I made.

rosalie-lavender

I think I would be inclined to ask them if they want to buy/rent your current house as they think it is so wonderful.

Just ignore them and if they are upsetting your mum then could you field the phone calls to try to prevent some of it? Have you got caller display? That is quite handy for seeing who is calling and then you can decide whether you want to answer the phone or not.

neverdespairgirl

Don't give these comments any more brain space.

geoffky

Please do not tell your viewers the neighbors are a right shower..
You will have to economical with the truth..If asked.

[Deleted User]

Sometimes even family members don't understand and agree with our decisions even though we KNOW they are best for us as you are the one living in these personal circumstances day to day , not them!

I do not understand though if they know these neighbours make you CRY why on earth they would want you to stick as it seems these neighbours have been pulling the wool over their eyes not wanting to look bad to your family members and trying to get them on their side even

Good thing is you won't have to deal with these manipulating neighbours for much longer and you and your Mum will be FINE and alot happier in a new place once everyone else backs off and just leaves you to it

Once they see the 'fruit' of the move ie you and your Mum being much more relaxed and happy they will then see the wisdom behind it rather than their own fear which seems to have taken over right now , just let them know it is the right decision and they have no need to be concerned for you both and you will sort any minor problems out on moving and it won't be a disaster but a real blessing

Enjoy your move and settling in and a new start in your new home :beer:

Scorpio33

I would say to your family that they don't have to live in the house you currently do, so can never truely understand what it is like living near your neighbours. Even if they think they can, then I would say that at the end of the day it is you that has to live how you do, and you (rightly or worngly) are not happy about how it currently is, so are trying to do something positive to change the situation.

From what I can tell, my guess is that the family have an ulterior motive to stopping you moving. It could well be out of concern for your mothers health and the affects the move would have, but I suspect that you would be downsizing, so releasing equity, and they have one eye on "their share" of the equity in the house when mother passes away.

Either way, they are thinking about it from their own point of view, when they need to realise you are doing it for you, not for them, so they need to understand how you see things, not how they do. The may not agree with how you see things, but they need to be able to accept that you do see things the way you do.


Good luck!

Janey3

Go for it and enjoy your life. We listened to family years ago and now we are stuck here without a hope of ever buying another house, with a nasty piece of work for a neighbour, thankfully all the others are ok, so yes, listen to what the family say, but do what you're own gut feeling tells you. A move will give you the lift in spirit that you need, a fresh start, and when you're settled, you can ask all the 'doubting thomases' round for a drink to celebrate!

Good luck!

MEM62

You shouldn't even be listening to any of this rubbish and I certainly wouldn't bother offering them any explanations for your actions. Tell them to keep their noses out!