Need To Stop Being So Negative

belfastgirl23

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

But you know this is totally normal. You're grieving for the loss of your relationship and also worrying about the future. As the thread shows, many many people have gone through exactly these emotions and come out the far side stronger and happier. So first of all try to have faith. Vision a future with you and the children happy and settled. Imagine what it will be like. Yes there are obstacles to overcome in the meantime but you will overcome them. Have faith in yourself to manage. You've been managing in difficult circumstances most of your life and you will manage this.

Secondly don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to your landlord matter of factly making clear you intend to pay but it may take a while. You don't have control over what he will say but you will feel stronger and more empowered for taking action first. And he is more likely to be impressed by seeing you be proactive rather than reactive. Ask for help at the benefits office, again you may or may not get it but you will feel better for being active, a d you may just find a sympathetic ear. On the food bank issue, remember life is long. Someday you will have an opportunity to repay this kindness. It can be today if you think that it will help you to get out and be with people. But if not today, it can be next year or next decade.

For now its ok to focus just on you and the kids. Go easy on yourself, it's tough right now and you should just be pleased you are getting through each day. Try to do one thing every day just because it pleases you - walk in a flower garden, have a hot bath, watch a guilty pleasure TV show.

Also try to get even a little exercise. A walk in the fresh air has an out if proportion effect on well being. Make it a cornerstone of your life.

I think of times lime this as coming out of a long dark tunnel into the sunshine. There is a period of adjustment when your eyes hurt and you can hardly see, but once you adjust you will love the sunshine and look back at the tunnel you were in before and wonder how you survived!

Good luck!

tayforth

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so low.

But you know this is totally normal. You're grieving for the loss of your relationship and also worrying about the future. As the thread shows, many many people have gone through exactly these emotions and come out the far side stronger and happier. So first of all try to have faith. Vision a future with you and the children happy and settled. Imagine what it will be like. Yes there are obstacles to overcome in the meantime but you will overcome them. Have faith in yourself to manage. You've been managing in difficult circumstances most of your life and you will manage this.

Secondly don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to your landlord matter of factly making clear you intend to pay but it may take a while. You don't have control over what he will say but you will feel stronger and more empowered for taking action first. And he is more likely to be impressed by seeing you be proactive rather than reactive. Ask for help at the benefits office, again you may or may not get it but you will feel better for being active, a d you may just find a sympathetic ear. On the food bank issue, remember life is long. Someday you will have an opportunity to repay this kindness. It can be today if you think that it will help you to get out and be with people. But if not today, it can be next year or next decade.

For now its ok to focus just on you and the kids. Go easy on yourself, it's tough right now and you should just be pleased you are getting through each day. Try to do one thing every day just because it pleases you - walk in a flower garden, have a hot bath, watch a guilty pleasure TV show.

Also try to get even a little exercise. A walk in the fresh air has an out if proportion effect on well being. Make it a cornerstone of your life.

I think of times lime this as coming out of a long dark tunnel into the sunshine. There is a period of adjustment when your eyes hurt and you can hardly see, but once you adjust you will love the sunshine and look back at the tunnel you were in before and wonder how you survived!

Good luck!

What a wonderful post, belfastgirl23 xxx

harrys_nan

deannatrois,
Just bumping this thread up to see how you are, have you made your doc's app yet?