Need To Stop Being So Negative

mummyroysof3

I can only agree with the advice about seeing a doctor on Monday. There is nothing wrong with feeling like this it sounds like a very stressful situation. How old are your children? Are they old enough to understand that mum is feeling crap and need you all to rally together to get through? If they t school I suggest also trying to take some time out for yourself on Monday and try to relax and regroup. Seeing your other half leaving as a new begining in many ways may help. Take care of yourself and try to come back and keep talking on here for support and advice

tayforth

((((Hugs))))

You are clearly an amazing mother. You're right, you can't change the past but you can change the future. I ended my abusive marriage 3 weeks ago, and I feel as if I've been given a new start. I cant get the last 7 years back, but by golly I'm going to make the most of the rest of my life!!!!


It may not seem like it now, but your life will improve immeasurably when your ex moves out. I can't even describe the feeling of freedom, relief, peace of mind. Well done on taking steps to end the relationship, that took real courage. You are stronger than you realise.


I can't add to the fantastic advice up thread, except to echo it. Put yourself first. Ask for help. See the doctor. Insist on being treated.


We are all here for you xxx

[Deleted User]

I don't know how to say thank you enough for your kind replies. I really don't. I cringed opening the thread again but thank u so much.

Thank you for taking the time to post. It means a lot to me to know that others have been through the same thing and u took the time to say so.

Its a bad point, yes, I've not gotten any housing allowance this month, managed to keep $500 aside for the rent but am still £275 short. And of course, with my OH moving out, thats just gonna add another thing to the delay in getting money in the house. My OH hasn't gotten the receipts to me that are needed to get income support, and without income support, I don't get Housing allowance. He gets working tax credit now, I get less child tax credit and meanwhile I'm fighting to pay the rent. Its a bit of a worry. But until the dratted forms are filled out and his expenses/receipts sent in, I can't solve that. And of course, I now need to tell them my OH is moving out today so that's a new claim when the old one isn't sorted. I'm not one to be behind in the rent, its not happened before regardless of what's going on behind the scenes. And well, cupboards are getting barer and barer so that's a worry. I can live on toast and have done it before, but the kids can't so much, particularly my older son. He's very able but doesn't get that the food he likes isn't always available. I'm afraid 'if they're hungry they'll eat anything' doesn't work with him! I've been told once my OH moves out I can get food parcels but oh dear.., sorry to sound stuffy but I hate the thought of having to get food parcels. I think I'll see if I can do some volunteer work with them so it doesn't seem so bad.

I hear what u say about seeing my GP. I did see her about three weeks ago and I think I freaked her out (I was actually feeling a lot stronger then so gawdness knows what effect I'd have on her now) as she desperately tried to get me to go back for another appointment. I went and saw another GP and he quite clearly knew nothing about the situation, I just couldn't start explaining a quite complex situation all over again and made my apologies and left. I haven't been back cause I don't wanna cause so much fuss.

I'm sure I'll cope. Your posts helped so much, thank you.

FBaby

deanatrois, all your message are about protecting every one but you. It is no surprise you are feeling anxious. It is very difficult (if not impossible) to control other's feelings. To go to the extend of worrying your GP shows how deep seeded it is. Remember that your GP is getting a lot of money to help people like you. If she gets freaked out, that is HER problem, but I'm sure that if it came as a surprised, it didn't phase her. Do go back and see her, you will not be causing fuss, you will insure you are getting the help you need.

As for your son, it is time to share the weight on your shoulder with him. He is old enough and he does need to start realising that you can't protect him forever from the stress of life. I'm sure once he realises what you are going through, he will respect that having to change his eating habit for a few weeks is nothing compared to what you have to adjust to.

Good luck today, it will be a tough day. If you do start to feel overwhelmed with anxiety, do tell yourself what is the worse that could happen. You will see that it would be unpleasant, tough, but not something that you can change for the better giving yourself a bit of time.

Do come and post here, you deserve some hugs and care, you really do.

FatVonD

I have to echo not worrying what the GP thinks, when I had my mini meltdown I turned up unannounced, mid-afternoon (when they were officially closed!) and just stood at reception and wailed. It's the quickest I've ever been seen at the GPs

mumonashoestring

FatVonD wrote: »

I have to echo not worrying what the GP thinks, when I had my mini meltdown I turned up unannounced, mid-afternoon (when they were officially closed!) and just stood at reception and wailed. It's the quickest I've ever been seen at the GPs

Can only agree with this - I work with GPs and they don't go into work in the morning hoping noone ill will come to see them, they put themselves through years of training because they want to help people. Please go back and think about what you need from them, not about whether you're making work for them. If you have trouble coming up with the right words in person you can write down how you're feeling before going in, or even use your first post on this thread. Whatever makes you more comfortable and helps you to get across how you're feeling.

Have you had a look at the 'food shopping and groceries' board and the 'old style moneysaving' board on here? They contain loads of tips on how to do your food shopping for a bit less and you might find something useful in there.

I hope things start looking up for you soon, you deserve it ((hugs))

LannieDuck

deannatrois wrote: »

I don't know how to say thank you enough for your kind replies. I really don't. I cringed opening the thread again but thank u so much.

Thank you for taking the time to post. It means a lot to me to know that others have been through the same thing and u took the time to say so.

Its a bad point, yes, I've not gotten any housing allowance this month, managed to keep $500 aside for the rent but am still £275 short. And of course, with my OH moving out, thats just gonna add another thing to the delay in getting money in the house. My OH hasn't gotten the receipts to me that are needed to get income support, and without income support, I don't get Housing allowance. He gets working tax credit now, I get less child tax credit and meanwhile I'm fighting to pay the rent. Its a bit of a worry. But until the dratted forms are filled out and his expenses/receipts sent in, I can't solve that. And of course, I now need to tell them my OH is moving out today so that's a new claim when the old one isn't sorted. I'm not one to be behind in the rent, its not happened before regardless of what's going on behind the scenes. And well, cupboards are getting barer and barer so that's a worry. I can live on toast and have done it before, but the kids can't so much, particularly my older son. He's very able but doesn't get that the food he likes isn't always available. I'm afraid 'if they're hungry they'll eat anything' doesn't work with him! I've been told once my OH moves out I can get food parcels but oh dear.., sorry to sound stuffy but I hate the thought of having to get food parcels. I think I'll see if I can do some volunteer work with them so it doesn't seem so bad.

I hear what u say about seeing my GP. I did see her about three weeks ago and I think I freaked her out (I was actually feeling a lot stronger then so gawdness knows what effect I'd have on her now) as she desperately tried to get me to go back for another appointment. I went and saw another GP and he quite clearly knew nothing about the situation, I just couldn't start explaining a quite complex situation all over again and made my apologies and left. I haven't been back cause I don't wanna cause so much fuss.

I'm sure I'll cope. Your posts helped so much, thank you.

Deanna, we have a social support system in this country for exactly this reason. Every now and then everyone needs a bit of a helping hand. Especially when you have children. This just happens to be your turn.

Please don't feel bad about receiving food parcels for a bit. They're there because your community doesn't want children to be hungry. They're a really good thing, and not something to be ashamed of. Your idea of volunteering with them is great, but only do it when you've got yourself sorted. Worry about yourself first, and give back when you're in a position to do so.

Do you have close friends or family who might have your son over for dinner once a week for a little bit, to make sure he gets a good meal?

And please don't feel bad about going back to the GP. Again, that's what they're there for. See if you can get an appointment with the one you saw first - she obviously felt you had every right to see her and wanted you to go back. So you're not causing a fuss at all.

[Deleted User]

No I'm sorry no friends and family. Its really hitting me how I'm gonna pay bills and rent with no money coming in. Let alone food. Really stressing.

Its a private rental landlord and he's a bit well, your typical low cost rental landlord. Not a nice man lol. I'm heading for a real mess financially.

LannieDuck

deannatrois wrote: »

No I'm sorry no friends and family. Its really hitting me how I'm gonna pay bills and rent with no money coming in. Let alone food. Really stressing.

Its a private rental landlord and he's a bit well, your typical low cost rental landlord. Not a nice man lol. I'm heading for a real mess financially.

Could I suggest you do a SOA and post it in the DFW section of the site? I realise you're not in debt, but the MSEers there are very good at helping you balance your incomings and outgoings.

[Deleted User]

I hear you.., its just that there's not much point lol.., no income once I declare I'm single again.., and then it'll start coming back in in dribs and drabs but when I don't know. Possibly once I make the new claim some income support and Housing allowance will be paid on the old claim if my OH/ex ever gives me the paperwork I need. But again, no idea when.