Existing, not living (DFW)

debtmummy10

ceebeeby wrote: »

:rotfl::rotfl:I literally get my haircut max once a year, sometimes once every two years, and usually get a friend to do it! If it's lucky, I'll stick a superdrug hair dye through it!!

Clothes - I very very rarely buy new clothes. Fortunately I've got a loft full of clothes in different sizes and just swap them around.

I'm not a very "look at me" person. I don't think there's much to look at!!

hun this is a horrid way to look at yourself.
im combining my thoughts from both of your threads so soz if its off topic a bit but...
YOU are work a haircut and some new clothes
YOU are worth looking at- dont think any different
YOU will move on from this !!!!! with your head held high
YOU have amazing children that love and value you
YOU will have an EX for a reason!!! hiss fault not yours
YOU will be debt free!!!
:cool:
debtmummy xx

ceebeeby

Thank you, that's lovely!

On the SOA, I somehow need to increase my share of the house equity - I paid the large deposit and was agreed (and still agreed) that I will get that back. So basically, everything after joint debt is cleared is mine. That would clear just about all of my sole debt.

Because I'm on an above average salary, I could easily manage a comfortable living style for 2 years in local rented accommodation, plus save for new house deposit, to add to second house monies when they are freed up to buy a new home eventually.

ceebeeby

RAS wrote: »

This has to stop. It is May now. Start putting £30 per month aside for Christmas

And for heaven's sake stop buying your ex-husband presents!

Okay

Xx

thehappybutterfly

Seeing as you're in Scotland Ceebeeby, there are other solutions to your debt situation that aren't available in England. Debt Arrangement Scheme is one. This is a link to another really helpful site - but this one is specific to residents in Scotland.
http://www.trust-deed.co.uk/otherdebtsolutions.php

You really can't carry on in this situation. For the sake of your sanity and your children's happiness.

Treevo

ceebeeby wrote: »

Thank you, that's lovely!

On the SOA, I somehow need to increase my share of the house equity - I paid the large deposit and was agreed (and still agreed) that I will get that back. So basically, everything after joint debt is cleared is mine. That would clear just about all of my sole debt.

Because I'm on an above average salary, I could easily manage a comfortable living style for 2 years in local rented accommodation, plus save for new house deposit, to add to second house monies when they are freed up to buy a new home eventually.

Unless it's written down legally, you may find your ex will change his mind once he realises he's lost control of you.

SuziQ

I am concerned that he will renege on the agreement about the house equity . When I started my divorce proceedings and told my solicitor I had over £120,000 equity in my home and he agreed I keep it if we split up( i had lived here for 14 years before I met him, then bought my ex out when I marred my second husband ) she gave a hollow laugh and said ' don't expect him to keep to that once he starts to see the figures and how it will affect him' . She told me it could turn into quite a nasty and costly court battle and I may not win it.so be careful about this. Luckily my ex has stuck to the agreement .

ETA I just saw that Treevo has made pretty much the same point.

ceebeeby

The trade off was that I leave his pension alone, and I'm happy to agree to that.

gizmo111

ceebeeby wrote: »

The trade off was that I leave his pension alone, and I'm happy to agree to that.

Hopefully that will be Ok - but do you have a pension as well?

ceebeeby

Have updated the SOA again to take into account all the extra 'remembered / reminded' items.

DD's contribution, inheritence asset, now included £30 for gifts and knocked money off of children's expenses (DD2 can have packed lunches!!) - even managed to write down second home, but not include in final figures.

I haven't had the TV conversation yet, but will try and raise it today.

ceebeeby

gizmo111 wrote: »

Hopefully that will be Ok - but do you have a pension as well?

Yes - employee one since aged 18