Existing, not living (DFW)

gizmo111

ceebeeby wrote: »

That was exactly what I did two months ago.

The response was something equivalent to being told by her, I was deliberately upsetting her very precarious apple-cart and if I didn't pack it in, he would stop her allowance and she would starve to death! I was to go and sit and wait it out until their (now commercially rented) ex-marital home property sells in approximately a years time, and be good else they would make it difficult for me.

Okay, so I've made up the interpretation, but that about sums it up :rotfl:

And this is just someone else bullying you - be firm and make it clear that if they don't sort something out then you will be the one starving.
when is this house supposed to be sold so they can pay you what they owe?

bargainbetty

Eldest daughter has made a substantial change to your insurance. Sad to say, she needs to contribute to it, or not be on it. Perhaps her other parent would be willing to put her on their insurance, so she still has use of a vehicle, or pay half of the difference to yours? Particularly since her phone contract seems to be a very long term Xmas present. Again, can your Ex OH contribute to that?

If you reduce the £200 per month that you set aside for child expenses to £150, then you can live within your means although it will be tight. Honestly, start ebaying and decluttering your life and raise some money to pay off the highest interest debt. See about your offspring taking on part time jobs and learning to pay for the luxuries they want, or at least meet you halfway. The 17 year old, not so much, but you see what I mean.

With regard to the overseas property, start investigating rents in the area, and explain delicately to your business partner there that your circumstances have changed and you require an income from the property, or it's sale (to them or elsewhere). Be polite but ask them to provide details of their solicitor so you can draw up a formal arrangement regarding letting the property out or them buying you out in full. Don't accept this 'don't rock the boat' codswallop. If you are a legal owner of the property, you do have some rights. It might be time to start asserting them.

I wish you the very best of luck x

ceebeeby

Jonesy88 wrote: »

Can you explain to your kids that you cant afford to keep buying them uni stuff?

ETA: uni should be about finished for the year - will your kids be getting a summer job? they could earn and save for the coming academic year.

Yes, eldest is very good. She's worked the last two summers and that paid for things like her driving lessons, her holidays, she contributed £100 towards Xmas cost on a grocery card out of her wages. I don't pay anything for her over summer months.
She has an 8 hour p/t job at the Uni, plus does voluntary work in her chosen career. I'm happy with that as her contribution.
Come September the new loan system will be in place and I won't need to fund anything. She has already suggested we talk about what she can contribute at that time.

Youngest is still at school and still has another 7-8 weeks until end of this term - and then another 2 years in school after that before Uni. She is looking for a p/t summer job at the moment.

ceebeeby

bargainbetty wrote: »

Eldest daughter has made a substantial change to your insurance. Sad to say, she needs to contribute to it, or not be on it.

Arghh, another SOA update, she does - she gives me £30 a month towards it from her wages. I pay the rest, such as car tax etc.

ceebeeby

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt wrote: »

Yeah....this is blackmail.

They're already making it difficult for you, even more reason to want out asap.

gizmo111 wrote: »

And this is just someone else bullying you - be firm and make it clear that if they don't sort something out then you will be the one starving.
when is this house supposed to be sold so they can pay you what they owe?

This is one of the reasons why I'm okay with saying I have no family!!

To be very brutally honest, I can only tackle one horror story at a time, and they wouldn't care if I was starving. I don't have this particular fight in me for now.

"A year" was what I was told 2 months ago.

Jonesy88

Sorry if this has already been covered, but does the £50 for tv mean the actual monthly bill is £100?

ceebeeby

Jonesy88 wrote: »

Sorry if this has already been covered, but does the £50 for tv mean the actual monthly bill is £100?

:eek: £102 to be precise! Includes internet, phone line and TV x 4 rooms. I never even watch the bloomin' thing :cool:

Little_Miss_Uni-Debt

Keep finding those little updates! They matter a lot.

Sounds like the overseas 50% owners are getting rent coming in from their other home, why shouldn't you!

They will try every trick in the book to stay in the position they are in because it's a dream!

RAS

ceebeeby wrote: »

:eek: £102 to be precise! Includes internet, phone line and TV x 4 rooms. I never even watch the bloomin' thing :cool:

So start by working out when you can reduce the package ASAP. Then cut it back. OH can pay for it or go without.

RAS

ceebeeby wrote: »

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
- you never buy anyone, inc your kids, a birthday or christmas present?

Yes I do, but I've never budgeted for it. I probably spend about £150 per child for birthdays, £100 for OH and £50 for friend. For Xmas in total it usually comes to about £750 total for everything including food. Again, I never budget - just add it to the CC.

This has to stop. It is May now. Start putting £30 per month aside for Christmas - it is not like it does not come round every year. Similar for the children's birthday presents; I guess that they would prefer something for £50 and have a happier mum, so put aside a £tenner.

And for heaven's sake stop buying your ex -husband presents!