What mainstream things do you NOT allow your children to do?

stuliet_2

fawd1 wrote: »

Erm... I do this. I'll tell you why. 1) it means my kids aren't running around touching/spilling/eating half the supermarket. 2) I can't think of a single item of food that you put without some covering (bag/packet etc) in your trolley. Truly. I cannot think of a single person that ever puts some apples into their trolley without putting them in a bag first. So, unless you're someone that enjoys the idea of licking food packets (which would make you weird) then I see no problem at all in letting my kids ride in the trolley. I would put them in the seat, but I have 2 and DS1 is over the weight allowance (they only go up to about 2 years in age)

This is also a bugbear of mine. Call me old-fashioned but I worked hard on parenting my kids so that they behaved appropriately in supermarkets (or anywhere else.) They weren't perfect and we certainly had our moments - it can make a shopping trip stressful and tiring too, but now at 9, 11 & 12, I am glad I put the effort in.

I personally think putting kids in the back of trolleys is lazy parenting (using reins too!) - meaning you don't have to go to the trouble of monitoring your kids and expecting them to follow instructions and using sanctions when they don't. I know it's hard work and stressful, but it is ultimately what parenting is about!

Am running off and hiding now, in preparation for being flamed!:D

PinkLipgloss

fluffymuffy wrote: »

We didn't allow ours to watch any TV until the oldest was about 8, and we realised we were creating social misfits as they didn't know enough about popular culture to join in with pretend games with other children. Just basic stuff like what a mutant ninja turtle was, and batman, superman etc (going back some years here).

So we decided to get a TV with a video slot and be very selective.

I wasn't planning on banning it for his entire childhood. He is only 23 months at the moment. However, the research I have read suggests it can be detrimental to preschoolers development.

I will allow him to watch some tv (in careful moderation) after he starts primary school.

Alpha58

notechno wrote: »

I banned gun-like toys when my son was small. So he bit the shape of one out of a sandwich! Just shows there are some battles it can be almost impossible to win!

Hmmm...I have been with and around firearms for much of my working life and although OH and I made a conscious decision not to have toy guns in the house, it has never been an issue as neither of the children have ever shown the slightest interest.

Now, children standing in trolleys...grrr!! If they are small they should be in a trolley with a seat, if they are too big for a seat then surely they are big enough to walk?

Pet hate must be rude children, and one notable occasion (which we still laugh about today) was a little snot from my son's school who came round with his mother. OH and her were chatting at the kitchen table when LS waltzed up, cut across a conversation and said "can we go home now? This is a very average house and I am bored."

Our flabbers were collectively gasted, I can tell you!

fluffymuffy

Alpha58 wrote: »

Pet hate must be rude children, and one notable occasion (which we still laugh about today) was a little snot from my son's school who came round with his mother. OH and her was chatting at the kitchen table when LS waltzed up, cut across a conversation and said "can we go home now? This is a very average house and I am bored."

Our flabbers were collectively gasted, I can tell you!

Even worse (yes, it's possible) - is that when the child interrupts, its parent cuts you off mid sentence and give all their attention to the little cherub.

I recall being at a "friend's" house when one of mine was little and we were in the middle of a conversation when her child toddled up with a book - she just cut me off short and started reading the book to the child.

grey_lady

Is this the judgy pants thread?

Savvy_Sue

ringo_24601 wrote: »

My wife has issued a 'no gun-like toys' ruling - i think that's our only one

We did that too. Aged 7 or 8, DS1 was given a palm cross at church (on Palm Sunday) and promptly turned it into a gun.

xbrenx wrote: »

This was a strict rule of mine too, no guns, in the preschool years and beyond I even encouraged dolls and what we accept as girl toys.

BUT

They're grown up now, 20 & 17. The eldest plays AirSoft most weekends - paintballing with pellet guns.

DS2 does this. It still gives me a shock when I go into his room and find a gun being cleaned or in bits on his bed.

thorsoak wrote: »

...you can remove bananas, but you can't remove fingers.....:p

:rotfl:

notechno wrote: »

I banned gun-like toys when my son was small. So he bit the shape of one out of a sandwich! Just shows there are some battles it can be almost impossible to win!

:rotfl:

fawd1 wrote: »

The only thing I've absolutely banned is tea for anyone under the age of 14-kids don't like coffee anyway (believe it or not my SIL gave her child weak tea in a BOTTLE from the age of 2).

I was drinking tea from earlier than that, in a bottle. I have survived, and none of my lads drink either tea or coffee regularly.

Savvy_Sue

BTW, we had no TV until DS3 was 7. Wish we'd held off a year or two longer as he didn't 'get' the reading bug like the older two did. And he would watch the test card if nothing else was on.

All the boys did ballet for a brief period, but I would have been less happy at girls doing it. Good job I didn't have any.

[Deleted User]

jansus wrote: »

My son is 11 he has never watched any films or computer/console games of an inappropriate age, he has so many friends with an aggressive attitude, i'm convinced it's because they play xbox /playstation games full of violence etc aimed at 18 plus.

I sort-of work in the video game industry. I created a forum for a video game that has a very high population of younger children, from the ages of 7 to 12 are a significant portion of our users (we have at least a million people in that age range using the site) and I think you're making absolutely the right decision.

I don't believe that playing Call of Duty will turn a well balanced and caring child into an evil dastardly child that rips the legs off bumble bees however there does seem to be a clear difference between the behaviour of children that are limited to age appropriate content in what they can and cannot consume, although it's worth considering that this could be because an attentive parent wouldn't allow a child to consume inappropriate things and because they're an attentive parent they are well parented in other respects.

Video games in moderation (like any engaging activity) absolutely do provide value to children and there are video games that can greatly improve a child's ability to learn and interests in certain subjects. The video game that I have involvement in (Minecraft) has changed so many children's lives, I get to see daily pre-teens that now have a blossoming interest in computer programming (that will provide huge value to them in the future) because of a video game.

My mother made the same choice you've made (restricted what I could watch and play to my age range) and I think that was the right decision, although I was a child in the 90s / early 00s so back then video games in every house wasn't as normal, I didn't have a Playstation 1 until I was 11 or the internet until I was 14.

Anyway to summarise from someone with daily experience with millions of children and teenagers that play video games: there does seem to be a correlation between what a child is allowed to play and how they behave, although it could be that parents that allow 11 year olds to play 18 rated games are also lazier with their parenting in general, either way I would do the same if I had children.

Skint_yet_Again

I let my son have 18-rated xbox and PS games when he was young and it never did him any harm. He is now 18, about to finish college & got himself a full time job and volunteers part time for the police.

I also allowed him to take part in "violent" sports like boxing and rugby and martial arts , because when taught and coached correctly these sports can build character, respect and leadership / team-working skills.

He also takes part in "airsoft" rifle shooting and we have a gun in the house which shoots plastic balls - He tells me that it does hurt/sting when you get shot even through the padding but he wears a safety mask to protect his face/eyes. He has always been told this gun cannot be taken outside unless its in and out of the car on the way to an airsoft event. He has been taught to look after and clean it correctly and never to point it at a person or animal. He played guns at an early age and used a finger if he didn't have a gun !

The only things I did not allow was

1. fizzy drinks in the mornings - he could have tea, milk or juice and a proper breakfast. I don't buy fizzy stuff every week but will buy cans when they are on offer during the summer. If he decides to buy fizzy at college / work in the mornings there is nothing I can do about this but at least I know that he's had a healthy breakfast

2. when he was younger - Playing with "unsuitable" friends out of school. I stopped him going to play at one friends house after I went to collect him and the friend was swearing in the street and spitting. I don't allow swearing or spitting. I just explained that he could be friends with who he liked in school but that sort of behaviour was not acceptable. Thankfully by the time he went to junior school onwards I knew the families and children and he made better choices

3. Going out to play, when he was older but only when I knew where he was, who he was with, that he had a mobile phone, that he would come in when told and that if I decided to come and get him he would be where he said he was going. (I tested this on several occasions and he never failed)

4. going to parties. Once he got to the final years in senior school he was allowed to go if I had the name, address, phone number of house he was going to and had to be home by a certain time or be picked up, despite protests of "no one elses parents do this !!!
Drinking was not banned and he was occasionally allowed a small glass of wine or can/bottle of beer/lager. He was allowed to parties on the understanding if he came home drunk he would be grounded and never allowed out to parties again. He was warned about the effects of smoking and drugs and luckily as far as I know he has never done either.

I think as a parent you have to go with your instincts and do what you think it right.

Paddles

Re kids in trolleys, honestly as someone else mentioned I'd be more worried about bird poo, or even a possible raw meat contamination, the odds of which are probably tiny much like catching anything that's been transferred from a shoe to a trolley to a package to a cupboard etc etc...

Anyway I don't think anyone should be offended or flamed for anything in this thread, we all chose to parent in the way we think right and do the best we can. I'll keep putting my kids in trolleys and not letting them drink fizzy drinks, and every other thing I do regardless of what other people think, because my children are my children. I expect other parents to do what they think is right regardless of my opinion too and I'm sure most of our children will turn out fine