What mainstream things do you NOT allow your children to do?

Aimless

No, sorry, baby number 1 has been raised to responsible almost adulthood without ever having to stand him in a trolley. Number two is in the process of learning to walk nicely and hold hands. And you have no way of knowing exactly which germs the kids have walked through on the way to the shop. I'm not germ phobic by any means, but shoes are pretty dirty things, which is why they're not allowed where the baby plays.

If we set aside the germ issue, do you stand them in there when it's wet and they have visible mud on their shoes? Who wants even clean mud on their shopping?

peachyprice

fawd1 wrote: »

Erm... I do this. I'll tell you why. 1) it means my kids aren't running around touching/spilling/eating half the supermarket.

It's really dangerous, I used to work for Sainsbury's and saw a fair few children spilt their noses and lips open and knock their front teeth out.

I though that was common sense though and that's why they have seats at the front?

fawd1

peachyprice wrote: »

It's really dangerous, I used to work for Sainsbury's and saw a fair few children spilt their noses and lips open and knock their front teeth out.

I though that was common sense though and that's why they have seats at the front?

up to 15 kilos though. My eldest son is hugely tall and was past that weight at 2. Either way, I make sure they sit, not stand, so there's not much chance of split lips etc

PollyOnAMission

ash28 wrote: »

We live in a village and have done for 18 months or so.

We moved in October 2011, just before Hallowe'en. Grandson who is 11 now lives with us.....we bought a few sweets "just in case". He had just started the village school after the October half term and one of the boys in his class asked him if he would like to go trick or treating with him. We said he could go (help him make friends etc)....in our old house he wouldn't have been allowed.

Hallowe'en is quite a big thing here...virtually the whole village takes part...I was a bit stunned the first year...running round in headless chicken mode trying to get more sweets....if they could walk the kids were out (with their parents who were often dressed up too).

We had carved pumpkins in our window, a sign that anyone was welcome to knock...most people put something either in their front window or garden to indicate it was ok to go to the door. If the curtains are closed and there is no light or decoration the door doesn't get knocked. I'd never seen so many decorated houses...apparently it's been like this for years. The pumpkins are relatively new they used to use swedes years ago. It's as colourful as Christmas.

Last year I spent hours making cup cakes with orange icing and icing spiders, witches hats, broomsticks, skulls all in black of course...then made up little bags with a cake and a couple of sweets....lots of people do something similar and put quite a bit of effort in for the kids. And it's lovely.

There is an elderly couple who put a box outside their door full of stuff for the kids and surprisingly the kids only take one each....in our last house if someone had done that they would have taken the whole box....and that was in a very nice middle class area...I guess the difference is that kids are brought up using "honesty boxes" here. I often send GS down the main street for eggs...they are kept at a front gate in a little hutch with a box to put the money in....70p for 6 free range eggs....and people don't abuse it.

Even the local shop puts a big dish of sweets on the counter.

It's all over by around 8pm and the kids absolutely love it. The grown parties afterwards aren't too shabby either.

I want to live in your village!

balletshoes

thorsoak wrote: »

To throw a curved ball into this debate - at what age do you let your children decide for themselves who they will see/play with, what activities they will do, when are they allowed to go to places by themselves, join in more adult activities?

By "adult activities", I'm thinking of my DGS, who at the age of 14, was considered by my DD and DSIL to be old enough to join a demonstration in support of shelter for the homeless
.....in one of the more prosperous areas of New England.

my DD is 12, and if she could explain to me why she felt she wanted to join a demonstration, I'd let her (I'd go with her though unless there were other friends' parents accompanying her). By 14 I suspect I'd let her go unaccompanied by an adult.

Sally_A

My daughter chose her friends from the moment she went to nursery, aged 18m.

If as a parent you drop them off and encourage them to make new friends.....what signal are you giving if you then pick their friends to bits.

I went to some interesting birthday parties..........some, I was invited into the back room to smoke grass :eek:, not my thing, so I played on the 5p fruit machine and went away with £100 :T

Every friend she chose was welcome to our home, and she could go to theirs albeit with a bit of cringing and fingers crossed.

Daughters birthday is 5th November, so we either did fireworks, or possibly a bit earlier, Halloween - we'd rescued a dog just before her 6th party, he was terrified of fireworks and wouldn't go outside. Just as the kids were grabbing food in the kitchen, he did the biggest noisiest wee ever, flooded the kitchen.

Did the kids remember the party, and all the games, the food? No! they remember the dog weeing all over the floor.:D :rotfl::rotfl:

emma-uk

fawd1 wrote: »

Erm... I do this. I'll tell you why. 1) it means my kids aren't running around touching/spilling/eating half the supermarket. 2) I can't think of a single item of food that you put without some covering (bag/packet etc) in your trolley. Truly. I cannot think of a single person that ever puts some apples into their trolley without putting them in a bag first. So, unless you're someone that enjoys the idea of licking food packets (which would make you weird) then I see no problem at all in letting my kids ride in the trolley. I would put them in the seat, but I have 2 and DS1 is over the weight allowance (they only go up to about 2 years in age)

I've never encountered a problem putting my 4 year old in a trolley, who has trollies with this 2 year limit?

ciderwithrosie_2

Our Tesco has some trollies with a deeper bench seat and belts if needed - older children up to about 7 or 8 can fit in these.

jansus

My son is 11 he has never watched any films or computer/console games of an inappropriate age, he has so many friends with an aggressive attitude, i'm convinced it's because they play xbox /playstation games full of violence etc aimed at 18 plus.

littlerat

Don't have kids, but somehow my Mum managed to look after my brother and I without standing in a trolley. It used to be called parenting

We were allowed to play GTA from a pretty young age. That said... original GTA was definitely not like the 18 rated games of today, it was a driving game where you could hit very unrealistic people and there was a red splat. Kind of like that game where you tried to get the chicken across the road. Modern ones... well considering some of the scenes in the latest COD can apparently involve torturing your opponent... it's just a different kettle of fish, lets put it that way.

Our parents judged things like films based on us though, I watched things like CSI very young but wouldn't have watched a horror film for the world. I'm only now getting to the point I'll watch them at 21.

We were told things about sex and such at a young age ~ questions were answered honestly and nothing was hidden from us, more like they do in a lot of European countries, obviously not explicitly told things but knew the basics etc.

Nothing like fizzy was banned. I think my parents made mistakes (I was allowed to drink way too much fizzy and to overeat, Mum gave me food when I was upset and set me up for a perfect comfort eating habit, habits I now cannot shake so am now very overweight) but overall, neither of us are murderous psychopaths, we didn't accidentally get knocked up before leaving school, which now seems a minor victory. I doubt any parent does everything right.

My aunt banned guns, then had 3 sons. That doesn't work for long. My brother and I were using air rifles at a very young age ~ my brother about 4, me about 6 (when we could hold a small one safely) and were taught proper safety things and always supervised. If used properly they're harmless.

My parents also didn't obsess about us getting hurt. Good job or I'd have had to have been locked in a padded room covered in bubble wrap. Somehow never broke anything but we got a LOT of cuts and scratches and all sorts. And if our collie told us off (even nipped, no blood) we got told off for whatever we'd done to deserve it, so we both grew up with a very healthy respect for dogs, she was like a 3rd very very overprotective parent, who would have died for us. She did knock us over once or twice but little kids can do that plenty anyway. And if we cried we'd get the grazes washed out if needed and go back out. Minor ones just got licked clean. By the dog, not our human parents to be clear I also took our neighbours dog and would be unsupervised (hamlet, no through traffic and obviously not ignored for hours) with both. They barked if any car or person they didn't know came near, so the few kids were safe.

We even had small amounts of alcohol from a young age, most people did here anyway in the early 90s. Even smoking wasn't banned from us, our parents both smoked yet we were just told it's a bad decision, here's why, but it's your choice.
I can say there was an enormous correlation between the ones never allowed any and the ones who went mad with alcohol and smoking the minute they could get their hands on it. Most of my friends my sort of age I know who smoke had staunchly anti~smoking parents.


I hope if I ever have kids I can give them an old fashioned childhood with family dogs, mud, dirt, trees and all.