O/S daily Tuesday 7th May

jools27_2

Evening all!
Well, I am back off work again, not coping with anything much really and have spent most of today crying, the horrible time we have stumbled through is kicking our behinds just now! Have been to the doctor and have been signed off again, and have an appointment tomorrow for a counselling session, feel like I have been trampled by a herd of elephants at the moment!

Molly41

Huge hugs Jools - it has been such a short time x

redruby

Jools, so sorry to hear you have been signed off again, it really has been such a short time, take as much time as you need it will help you, also talking to someone will help too, I wish I was nearer I would love to meet you for coffee cake and a hug, take care xx

Rowan9

(((hugs))) to you jools
W

donny-gal

Evening ladies

Don't know where time has disappeared to today.

((Jools)) baby steps mate, like RR wish you were nearer.

Sat outside enjoying the warm evening with DH, he's having a beer I'm not drinking the joys of dieting! Saw a photo of me took yesterday, really do not like my size ATM. Also fed up with my back aching when standing or walking. Nothing in comparison to many of you but need to find out why. BBQ tonight, meat with salad. Exciting eh! Sorry just feel like that ATM, won't last long fortunately as it never does.

Take care everyone DG

[Deleted User]

<<hugs>> to you Jools its rotten and every day you think its getting better then something knocks you back again,but keep plugging honey its like breaking a leg ,you may limp for awhile, but you will learn to walk again, if only with a slight limp now and again.I have a couple of months ahead of me which I will have to get through Next week my late OH would have had his 80th birthday and I can't believe its almost 10 years since I lost him, where have those years flown to ? I sometimes wonder I spent over two thirds of my life with him and then he was gone and it leaves a heck of a hole at times.But I have the family and the girls are brilliant and we sit and natter about the daft things their Dad did and what a leg -puller he was and he would so enjoy laughing and would hate to see anyone sad or unhappy which some how helps.The kids talk about him and the grandchildren as well (those that can remember him)and the best legacy he left me was our two children and I see so much of him in them at times and our grandsons as well.So we will get through it and come out the other side of the anniversaries with smiles ,even if they are a bit watery at times .Its such early days for you, and you must still be feeling raw and angry, its all part of the healing process I've been told.
I know I was furious when he went, and there are times when things go wrong or I'm just cross because he's not around even after all this time.So be kind to yourself and if you feel like a rant then come on here and let off steam
I only wish I was nearer and could give you a hug as I do feel what you are going through
God bless honey and remember the good times and forget the bad if you can.You can't change the past but you can form a future for yourself and your much loved children
Love from JackieO xxx

System

Jools. There is no time limit on the grieving process. We have to go through it our own way and in our own time. Life certainly has a way of kicking our legs from under us when we are down.:(

Ive had a pleasant evening. Ive given the Girls a bit of a haircut. They were beginning to look a bit unkept. I didnt get as far as their nails so thats one job on the list for tomorrow.

Hope you all sleep well tonight. Its forecast rain for tomorrow.

jools27_2

Thanks for your kind words and hugs! Today am still feeling a rage that he was taken from us so early, and feeling that people are trying to take what is left away from us! The feelings of guilt, that Ive been a nurse 28 years but didn't know how ill he was, the injustice of him being gone when the world is full of chancers strutting around...............mostly, I dread going into that cold empty bed at night and watching the hours tick by on the clock, and getting up every tomorrow and watching the look on the kids faces cos their dad isn't there to share their successes and failures, to face the dramas of the in-laws who don't see that we have the crushing feelings of loss they have, that we have no right to plan what happens to him now...............................
I'm sounding greedy and thoughtless, and I don't mean to, but he chose to be with me, with us, and however hard that must be, I would like to think as a loving mother that I would be able to let go to one of the kids' partners after 29 years.
The images of his final minutes, hours and days will haunt me forever, no matter how I tried to come across, but despite the sentiments that I will have my memories, which fills my heart with pain and dread just now, I know that this will in time come true......just now we smile when we can, cry when we can, and continue to dance around the subject of our grief because it is our way........good old west of Scotland stiff upper lip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And JackieO, your man sounds so like my dad, my heart sings familiar songs when you talk about him, reminds me so much of my darling dad and I bet your family was like ours, never short of love!

Dazi

Have not posted on here for ages but I do read and just wanted to send a hug to you Jools, I have never been through what you are gong through but I know how my mum has felt since my Dad died, going through being upset and then angry with him. In fact when she was upset at easter she said I am so angry with your dad for leaving me Lovely post from Jackie O,
Jackie has been said before you have such a lovely way with words, you really should write a book

Love and hugs to anyone else who is going though a bad time xx

meanmarie

Jools....hugs and loving vibes heading your way

Marie