Past child abuse

Altuser

Hello all.

I have signed up with a new account as this is a very delicate topic. I promise i am not a troll and i am looking for genuine information.


Brief story: when i was a child i was sexually abused by a family member. I have never told anybody this. A few years after it stopped another family member reported him to the police for the same crime but it never went further than that.


I suppose what i am asking is does anybody have any personal expereicne or know of somebody who has reported this crime years after the event. What are the chances of a conviction? Would i be believed? Is it worth all the stress and going over the past for possibly no justice at the end of it?

Altuser

Ps. I will most likely not be able to reply to any questions or posts until this evening. Rest assured i will reply and appreciate any replies given.

DUTR

Well there have been many cases in the news over the last 12 months, so yes if you feel 'comfortable' then report it.

NAR

Just a pity you didn't find the strength to come forward when the other family member did. I think if there is even the slightest chance that they will re-offend you need to go to the police and report your story. If they had any particular sexual preferences it may well be that your story will tie in with the story of the other family member that was abused.

whitewing

I think telling your story to experienced professionals can only help you come to terms with what happened to you. There may not be a conviction but that doesn't mean you won't be believed.

prowla

Yes - if there is a chance that they will reoffend, then you would be passively allowing it to happen again.

Of course, it would also (as you know because otherwise you would have already done it) take massive courage to come forward.

BitterAndTwisted

I think there is no doubt whatsoever that this person offended before they preyed on you and has re-offended since. Abusers rarely stop abusing of their own volition.

What is it that you are thinking about achieving? Closure? Justice? Revenge?

If it's closure you're wanting then some counselling could help there but if it's revenge or wanting some form of justice you should consider all of the possible scenarios for fall-out that could result. These sorts of disclosures have resulted in the most terrible rifts in families.

I believe that you should think very, very carefully indeed about what you want to achieve and why.

whitewing

Does this family member have any access to children or vulnerable adults nowadays? If so, or if you don't know, I think you should report it.

Of you don't want to walk into a police station just yet, why don't you ring 101 and speak to someone there who could perhaps guide you a little more on what may happen.

bright_side

The family member that did it to me died several years ago now, so I cannot comment on what I would do in your situation. I can say that, much as I NEED for my mum to know what happened to me, I decided a long time ago that it's something I could never reveal to her because, quite frankly, I think it would completely destroy her......whether she believed me or not. It would also do me more harm than good if she choose not to believe it.

I do have family members that I have told and a very dear friend, who is always ready to listen when it comes back to haunt me.

I would like to think that because your abuser has previously been accused, with your evidence as well, it should see a conviction.

abailey54

Have you ever had counselling for this? Working through your own situation with a counsellor (perhaps one who specialises in sexual abuse) could help you to decide what is best in your situation

If you are concerned about some particular children, you can report to social services (I think - if not they'd tell you who) and they can look into it, which I think you can do anonymously (or at least confidentially), if you didn't feel you could cope with going the whole hog

All I'll say about my experience is that I've been in the place of trying to decide whether to report it or not, and I can empathise with how difficult it is

Is the rest of your family aware of what happened to you? Do they believe and support you?

Whatever you decide, it's important to look after yourself and make sure you have the support around you from people who are on your side

MrsE_2

Altuser wrote: »

Hello all.

I have signed up with a new account as this is a very delicate topic. I promise i am not a troll and i am looking for genuine information.


Brief story: when i was a child i was sexually abused by a family member. I have never told anybody this. A few years after it stopped another family member reported him to the police for the same crime but it never went further than that.


I suppose what i am asking is does anybody have any personal expereicne or know of somebody who has reported this crime years after the event. What are the chances of a conviction? Would i be believed? Is it worth all the stress and going over the past for possibly no justice at the end of it?

I know of as case where 3 family members went to the police. One dropped under pressure from her family the other 2 carried it through.
He was convicted of the first one - suspended sentence.
Found no enough evidence for the second - not guilty.

Another family member made sure the jury knew they had just found a convicted !!!!! not guilty - they looked gutted.

This is VERY recent.