Am I overreacting?

Bazey

lufcgirl wrote: »

Hi
Some of you may remember me from 18 months ago, I had a pretty bad break up and was feeling sorry for myself for a long time. Anyway a year or so ago, me and said ex became friends again and I now count her among my closest friends. Of course, part of me still does love her and I do push it to one side most of the time and concentrate on being a good friend. We have a blanket rule not to discuss relationships as it winds the other up, until today.

So, today I had a few missed calls on my phone from her and called back pretty much straight away. Asked where she was, as she sounded like she was on her way somewhere and she became evasive. Immediately I knew she was with someone new I wasn't supposed to know about. First thought was why on earth are you even calling me when you're with someone and how beeping insensitive. We ended up spending about twenty minutes arguing about it, as I would never dream of calling her whilst on a date, even if she is over our relationship as I find it inappropriate. She says it's my fault for asking where she was, and that I'm throwing a tantrum over nothing.

I know it's childish and a silly argument to have, but it actually hurts her doing that, it just seems so wrong. Am I in the right or should I just let it go and forget it? In the end I told her to enjoy her day and hung up.

Anyway thanks for reading, and yeah...again before anyone says it, I know we're children for arguing like this!

Dude, I split up with my Fiancee of 7 years last august. I was quite certain we could remain friends as it was fairly amicable. We met up a couple of times and even went for dinner and to a gig. She kept commenting on everything I posted on F/B and would try and chat with me almost daily. I still have feelings for her but know that it was the right decision to split. She has moved on, with a new fell who is much more handsome than me etc (her words...yeah thanks for that)

I had a conversation with her the other day, she was inviting me to another gig. I asked why she was asking me to go and not her new fella. She said that she had so much fun with me last time, she thought it would be nice. I had to decline and I also asked her to stop contacting me as frequently as I was finding it difficult to move on still after all this time when she was "around me" all the time.

She said this was really upsetting, I joked that it wasn't like we were splitting up or owt, that had already happened. She then said that her new fella had said that he thought it was a bad idea and that she was being naive in thinking we could be friends. Anyhow not really sure what point I'm trying to make is, but I know we can still be friends, I just don't want her rubbing her oh so wonderful life in my face right now.

Forget about it, it's not a contest. Life is for living, just be f*****g happy yeah!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Bazey wrote: »

Dude,

She's not a dude!

LUFCgirl - what were you upset about exactly? That she called you whilst on the way to a date?

lufcgirl

Bazey wrote: »

Dude, I split up with my Fiancee of 7 years last august. I was quite certain we could remain friends as it was fairly amicable. We met up a couple of times and even went for dinner and to a gig. She kept commenting on everything I posted on F/B and would try and chat with me almost daily. I still have feelings for her but know that it was the right decision to split. She has moved on, with a new fell who is much more handsome than me etc (her words...yeah thanks for that)

I had a conversation with her the other day, she was inviting me to another gig. I asked why she was asking me to go and not her new fella. She said that she had so much fun with me last time, she thought it would be nice. I had to decline and I also asked her to stop contacting me as frequently as I was finding it difficult to move on still after all this time when she was "around me" all the time.

She said this was really upsetting, I joked that it wasn't like we were splitting up or owt, that had already happened. She then said that her new fella had said that he thought it was a bad idea and that she was being naive in thinking we could be friends. Anyhow not really sure what point I'm trying to make is, but I know we can still be friends, I just don't want her rubbing her oh so wonderful life in my face right now.

Forget about it, it's not a contest. Life is for living, just be f*****g happy yeah!

Thanks! That does make a lot of sense!

Bazey

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

She's not a dude!

LUFCgirl - what were you upset about exactly? That she called you whilst on the way to a date?

Sorry dude

lufcgirl

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

She's not a dude!

LUFCgirl - what were you upset about exactly? That she called you whilst on the way to a date?

I was upset she called whilst on a date, sat next to the girl in the car. I just thought it was insensitive, that's all! Usually when we have a phone call it'll last an hour or two, so I don't know exactly what she was trying to achieve by calling me at that point, what she wanted wasn't urgent and could've waited until she was home.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Bazey wrote: »

Sorry dude

Neither am I. *looks down. Nope - definitely not.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

lufcgirl wrote: »

I was upset she called whilst on a date, sat next to the girl in the car. I just thought it was insensitive, that's all! Usually when we have a phone call it'll last an hour or two, so I don't know exactly what she was trying to achieve by calling me at that point, what she wanted wasn't urgent and could've waited until she was home.

She's probably trying to make you jealous. Which of course you aren't as you are happy just being friends, right?

lufcgirl

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

She's probably trying to make you jealous. Which of course you aren't as you are happy just being friends, right?

I've known for about four months she's in a relationship and it doesn't concern me at all, if she wanted advice, she would ask me. I'm not jealous, just annoyed and upset that it seems she did that on the pure basis of winding me up!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

lufcgirl wrote: »

I've known for about four months she's in a relationship and it doesn't concern me at all, if she wanted advice, she would ask me. I'm not jealous, just annoyed and upset that it seems she did that on the pure basis of winding me up!

But it wouldn't wind you up would it - as you are just friends, aren't you?

fluffnutter

lufcgirl wrote: »

part of me still does love her and I do push it to one side most of the time and concentrate on being a good friend. We have a blanket rule not to discuss relationships as it winds the other up, until today.

You are not ready to be friends yet. Save yourself the emotional turmoil and stop seeing her until such time as news of other partners leaves you indifferent, rather than upset.