Am I overreacting?

jenhug

She is your ex for a reason. Leave her in your past and move on.

marisco_2

I dont think you are over this woman at all. You are aware that you push your real feelings about her to one side most of the time, in order to maintain a friendship with her. That isn't really very healthy for you and I dont think you are being honest with yourself or helping yourself to move forward at all.

If she were really just a friend to you now, you wouldn't find it insensitive of her to phone you whilst she was out with someone new. If you were just a friend to her she would have been at ease about you knowing where she was and who she was with and would not have been evasive about it. I seriously question why she feels the need to contact you, whilst with her current partner and wonder how they felt about it and viewed it. That is asssuming they knew anything about her calling you of course. It seems a very odd way to carry on and shows no respect for either yourself or the other person on this womans part. I think she is playing games with you both.

It doesn't sound to me like you two had any non contact time when you split up, or gave yourselves space to move on from each other. Even with amicable splits this can be a really good thing and is often necessary to heal from the break up of a relationship. Some couples do manage to remain friends and have happy and healthy interaction with each other some time after they have split. I dont think this is the case in your situation though. Sorry as this is possibly not what you wanted to hear, just saying it as I see it.

Uphill

I don't know what it is with lesbians. They always try to remain friends and many seldom achieve it. My partner tried it with her ex and it was always uncomfortable and was never a real friendship.

You said in a recent post that there is always that "what if" between you. There is your problem. Your relationship with her should be that of friendship, not if you could get back together either in the near or distant future. Either have a good chat together and decide if it can work as friends, or end the whole thing and finally finish grieving for your relationship.


I'm sorry if I sound harsh x