Real-life MMD: Should we forgo a hol because our disabled friend can't go?

Lovetotravel

Check with your friend and if she's ok, then go. Surely she wouldn't expect a group of people to stay at home just because of her?

You sound like a good friend, you've made the sacrifice other times and I'm sure she appreciates it. It's not like you're being nasty or selfish, you're entitled to a holiday too. I doubt she'll be delighted but if she's a real friend she shouldn't have an issue.

Just bring her a good present home!!

tallgirld

If I was in this predicament I would speak to my friend about it. But I tell you what I would not miss the offer! If she is your friend she should understand wheter she is able bodied or unfortunatley in her case disabled.

You can not go through life trying to please everyone as YOU will end up the unhappy one.

Go on holiday and enjoy yourself.

denmandaisy

I think the key question is what do you want the friendship with this person to be?

Let's ignore the disability for second - and focus on what the friendship part is about. Are there no holidays both of you have that would be suitable more for some than for others on both sides of the relationship?

The dilema for me on this one would be if my freind 'expected' me to pay out for her holiday at my expense, and only 'expected' me to save my time off work to go away with them and how much I actually wanted to spend time with this person versus going on a holiday?

What exactly is the relationship between you and is this likely to carry on. How balanced or interdependent is this friendship?

Work this one out and I think you'll have your answer. A freindship is a freindship - it shouldn't be based around the disability.

crogers

The clear message is speak to her!! Because she is disabled it doesn't mean that you cannot talk about this rationally. I'm sure that she is already aware of the extra costs when you go away with her, and I'm equally sure that she would want you all to go on this holiday and have a good time, despite the fact that she cannot come along because it isn't suitable.
Suggest that you plan another holiday further along in the summer that she can join in with. I know this is hard, but I am certain that she would be horrified if she knew that you were worried about her reaction.

Sensibility

I think you've got to try and put yourself in your friend's position. I'm sure she wouldn't want you to lose out on a holiday on her behalf BUT if she's always been a good friend to you then this might be a time to think"ok, it's a pain we're missing out on a good deal, but we value @@@s friendship more". Would your feelings be hurt if YOU were in your friend's position?

I personally wouldn't risk hurting her feelings. It IS wrong that most holidays for disabled people seem to cost more - very wrong in fact - but unfortunately you've set a precedent in paying the extra in the past.

moxxy-girl

It's lovely that you consider your disabled friend- but surely that doesn't mean you can never again go away without them. I'd explain that a really good deal has come up , that you realise it won't suit them, so you are sure they don't mind you going alone.
As long as you make it clear you'll be going with them at a future date, it should be fine :-)

Talent

Just explain to your friend that they can't go this time. What would you do if you were given the chance to climb Everest? Your friend is so obviously important to you and you are important to them but you can't live each others lives completely. I feel for your dilemma.

Augustus_the_Strong

You are nice to consider your friend. But why do you have to wait till next year for the holiday? Ditch the offer that is tempting you, and find a cheaper holiday you can all go on this year.

ptr159

Ask her i bet she says go, I'm disabled and i would

Any

She is your friend. You always accommodate her and pay extra. I think you are as good friend.
I think it is ridiculous to limit yourself though. Surely you can sometimes have a time on your own? With other friends? Go somewhere she can't? I find it daft that because of a friend you cannot do something you wish to do!
If I had to consider all my friends before I do anything I would just sit at home on my bum. You live just once. And it is your life!! Not hers or people on the forum.
As long as it is delivered kindly. I would be disappointed if it was me, but understand. Hell I have been disappointed in past when I couldn't join friends (due to cost in my case) but I wouldn't expect them to scrap holidays all together!