Do you sometimes wish you weren't always the strong one?

BJV

mcja wrote: »

I sympathise completely. I lost my job 6 weeks ago(cos I was stupid and made a big error or judgement), my hubby is being made redundant but company keep changing the goal posts, and 8yo ds needs surgery on his ear drum to correct his dropping hearing.
This has meant we had to change our holiday from a week AI in Corfu to a week with the inlaws in Wales.

I am very much of the "smile and waves boys" camp, and have to say at the moment, I am really not myself but no one seems to give a !!!!. Hubby knows how I feel and doesn't ask anything, my friends have enough on their plates.

I am going up to London on Saturday to give my newborn nephew a HUGE hug cos I just need something positive at the moment.

I have no advice but please know you are not alone in feeling like you do and I will be following the advice given with interest.

I hope the interview went well.

Xx

Got to say OMG! Poor you sounds like the break to London will do you the world of good.

That said you really do need to talk to your OH. Its supposed to be partnership not you just shouldering the lot and going stir crazy in the process.

The hardest part is to say that you need help and I really do know what you mean, two kids, two cats a puppy and a hubby and work FT. But even me and I can be a hard nosed so and so when i need to every now and again just needs a bit of support.

Speak to you OH asap and have a fab time in London.

&
Fingers crossed for interview!

BJV

Raksha wrote: »

Just be careful what you wish for. I was the strong one for 30 years, then I got broken.

Hope you are feeling better

mcja

Thanks BJV. I have talked to OH but because he is such a head up bum type bloke he doesn't realise the effect the is having on me. It took my 8 year old to tell him last night that he was be g a grumpy sod and it was affecting the kids.

Because. Have no job, I have no money, therefore I feel like I can't g out and do things, friends all work or have little ones and. Am not best patient with toddlers at the moment.

Only going to London for the day (can't afford a hotel and can't stay with brother as they oly has had the baby on Sunday). Had a job interview today fr one I have been doing at another school for 18months and didn't get it...swear they wanted blood.

My kids can be angels and monkeys like most kids but we sit every night and listen to my neighbours kids screaming a tantrum inc from 8-9pm. They won't do anything about it, we have had words, they know we can hear everything.

Never mind, things can only look up eh!!

Oh and edit...just found out police searching local gardens as a scally set fire to someone's door last night just down the road. Think I may hide in the cupboard..wish I drank sometimes, wine might chill me out a bit ;-)

gibson123

I'm the strong one, and I have this technique... just give yourself permission to have a "sense of humour breakdown" on the weekend. Get through your interview, and your week, be your fabulous self, then on Saturday have a selfish day - sleep late, have a long bath, get into clean jim jams, get out all your weepy feel good movies (my sisters keeper, love actually and the holiday are favourites), frozen cookie dough, and a bottle of wine, indulge in cookies and crying, call out for pizza if you get hungry. Get the ugly out and your strength back.... to be selfless you have to first of all learn you need to be selfish sometimes.

maman

gibson123 wrote: »

I'm the strong one, and I have this technique... just give yourself permission to have a "sense of humour breakdown" on the weekend. Get through your interview, and your week, be your fabulous self, then on Saturday have a selfish day - sleep late, have a long bath, get into clean jim jams, get out all your weepy feel good movies (my sisters keeper, love actually and the holiday are favourites), frozen cookie dough, and a bottle of wine, indulge in cookies and crying, call out for pizza if you get hungry. Get the ugly out and your strength back.... to be selfless you have to first of all learn you need to be selfish sometimes.

Another strong one here!:)

Get yourself done up tomorrow as if you are an actor going onto a stage. Plan your clothes and make up carefully (and wear your best lingerie it'll give you confidence)! Pin on a great big smile and give your very best performance! Do all this and you'll believe in yourself.:)

Good luck for the interview.

P.S. Everyone expects me to be the strong one (family, work colleagues, friends) and I've learned to live with that. Most of the time that's the way I am with my DH too as most of the time I am the strong one and proud to be so. I would advise you do share your feelings with your DH (perhaps not now but when his job's sorted).

ska_lover

gibson123 wrote: »

I'm the strong one, and I have this technique... just give yourself permission to have a "sense of humour breakdown" on the weekend. Get through your interview, and your week, be your fabulous self, then on Saturday have a selfish day - sleep late, have a long bath, get into clean jim jams, get out all your weepy feel good movies (my sisters keeper, love actually and the holiday are favourites), frozen cookie dough, and a bottle of wine, indulge in cookies and crying, call out for pizza if you get hungry. Get the ugly out and your strength back.... to be selfless you have to first of all learn you need to be selfish sometimes.

I love this post.

Op I am the strong one too. A logical thinking problem solver - rescoursefulness is one of my main assets. At work, I am a manager, then at home, I am a manager in the sense that it is me who organises everything household wise. It's not that other people don't try to help, its more a case of me assuming responsibility for everything. Think that comes from spending years as a single mum.

Last year I had a crumble. My work situation changed drastically meaning work got a lot harder (most of my dept got made redundant) and it was the straw that broke the donkeys back, I ended up having panic attacks and hallucinations and was starting to feel slightly agrophobic.

I got help from a councellor who helped me see what is important in life, rather than constantly trying to meet deadlines and demands. That is part why I am on the internet at this minute, as I used to work 9 hours a day with no lunch break. I do not do this anymore. I'm kinder to myself these days.

gibson123

Thank you ska lover, OP how was the interview.

CharlieRabbit01

ska_lover wrote: »

I love this post.

Op I am the strong one too. A logical thinking problem solver - rescoursefulness is one of my main assets. At work, I am a manager, then at home, I am a manager in the sense that it is me who organises everything household wise. It's not that other people don't try to help, its more a case of me assuming responsibility for everything. Think that comes from spending years as a single mum.

This is what I do, because I have a can do attitude and don't like things left half done etc I just end up doing stuff all the time. My OH has told me 4 times already this evening to stop leave the unpacking and relax.

I've had to just get on and do things since I left home at 15 and is a habit that's hard to break.

I do feel better this evening, I'm just about to dig out "the proposal" I have some yummy chocolate too.

CharlieRabbit01

The interview went really well, it almost seemed easy. But I have been there for an interview before slightly different job again went well but missed out to someone who already knew the company's procedures.

I took myself for a walk after in the sunshine with an old colleagues who now works at the place I'm trying to get into.

They said I should hear on Tuesday.

I will be having a selfish Saturday.

mcja

Well done Charlie Rabbit, have a lovely day tomorrow, and do keep us updated when you hear about the job, will have everything crossed for you.