Do you sometimes wish you weren't always the strong one?

CharlieRabbit01

I've always been the kind of person who tackles things head on, job needs doing I get on and do it.

I've never been overly emotional and always faced issues with a can do attitude, looking at it logically and finding ways to resolve it.

Well today, I'm reaching a point where I just cant do it any more.

We've just moved house, currently in another forum discussing my check out disputes with my old agency, my OH has been told he's going to lose his job, my job is getting me down etc etc

I've always been known as the strong person, much to my detriment as I get the feeling people don't open up to me as they dont think i'm emotional enough to care, which isnt true.

Now I dont know what to do with myself.

I just want to leave work and shut myself in my bedroom but I can't as thats not me, thats not the person everyone knows and depends on.

I've got a job interview tomorrow for a promotional opportunity at another company and I'm not in the right frame of mind.

Have you ever felt like this?

It seems easier for the people who are more emotional than me to open up about how they feel.

sassyblue

You ARE emotional hence your post here! and l'm not surprised you're feeling the way you do with everything that's going on.

Go to the interview and explain before you start it that you've had an upsetting week and that you wish to apologise in advance if they feel you're not giving your best. Write down any questions you want to ask (if you've not done so) and take it with you if you forget the things you want to say tomorrow.

Is it an option to take one day off? Just something for one day for *you*. You might be surprised at how much that helps.

Could you text to meet a friend and say in your text that you need to chat, even saying in that text what you find difficult to say, so that the gates are opened?

Hope the house issues resolve themselves soon and OH finds another job very quickly. Do l feel like this sometimes, YES but l have a long bath, watch something l like, eat a lovely cake and carry on. (((HUGS))) Everything passes. xxx

SuzieSue

I can feel how overwhelmed you are just from the tone of your post. You are going through a very stressful time at the moment and it is normal to feel that you can't cope when everything happens at the same time.

Changing jobs, redundancy and moving house are some of the most stressful things that can happen in life and you are having to deal with all three at once when most people would only just be able to cope with one. Is it any wonder that you aren't coping?

I don't know why you want to change jobs, but would it be possible to put that on the back burner for a while to allow you to cope with everything else? You need to come over as positive and enthusiastic when you are job hunting.

Joons

I know how you feel, I've been there too, we're living in such uncertain times it puts a big strain on us. I'm like you too, I try to solve everyone's problems incl my own and am constantly told how strong I am but as you say, who looks after us? You need a friend with a good ear that will just sit and listen and give you tea and sympathy. I would still go for the job and I wouldn't tell them anything, hopefully for the time you are there, you can act as though life is wonderful, we all do it an interviews to a certain extent so go for it. In what way is your OH going to lose his job, is he thinking of quitting?

sweetme

I continually feel like I am climbing a big hill, every time I can almost see the horizon at the top of the hill something happens, I roll back down, and have to start again. Life's a continual struggle, like you I'm the one that has to keep strong, there is no one else to take the flak.

Go for your interview tomorrow, try and switch off about everything else and focus entirely on yourself during that time.

CharlieRabbit01

I've got tomorrow off work, my interview is at 1:45 tomorrow, so hoping to use tonight and tomorrow morning to concentrate on that.

I'm looking for a new job myself as I've been working in the same level admin job for years and its getting me down I need more of a challenge (though clearly not right now) so i've been looking for a promotional job for about 6 months.

The new job will also mean more money to help keep us a float at home and pay off my debts.

CharlieRabbit01

I crashed like this about 7 years, ended up signed off sick for 3 weeks, on anti depressants, drinking, spending on credit cards (hence my current debt), but back then I was on my own, no friends, no one at work I could confide in and single.

My best mate lives 2 hours away and just opened her own business last thing she needs is me the strong one not holding it all together.

I'm too afraid to open up too much and afraid i'll end up back where i was 7 years ago.

sassyblue

OP you are in a much better position than 7 years ago, l presume your debts are being paid off so not as large as before? Plus you have the experience to know when you need to take some time out.

Caroline_a

sassyblue wrote: »

You ARE emotional hence your post here! and l'm not surprised you're feeling the way you do with everything that's going on.

Go to the interview and explain before you start it that you've had an upsetting week and that you wish to apologise in advance if they feel you're not giving your best. Write down any questions you want to ask (if you've not done so) and take it with you if you forget the things you want to say tomorrow.

Is it an option to take one day off? Just something for one day for *you*. You might be surprised at how much that helps.

Could you text to meet a friend and say in your text that you need to chat, even saying in that text what you find difficult to say, so that the gates are opened?

Hope the house issues resolve themselves soon and OH finds another job very quickly. Do l feel like this sometimes, YES but l have a long bath, watch something l like, eat a lovely cake and carry on. (((HUGS))) Everything passes. xxx

I really wouldn't do this. In this economic climate employers can take their pick of people, and, whatever the story behind it, a prospective employer won't care. He/she just wants someone who he/she has confidence in, that can just come in and do the job. Someone who's 'had a bad week' might have a bad week every week - I can have empathy for the OP, but a stranger who is looking to employ someone is unlikely to want to know.

CharlieRabbit01

sassyblue wrote: »

OP you are in a much better position than 7 years ago, l presume your debts are being paid off so not as large as before? Plus you have the experience to know when you need to take some time out.

They are slowly coming down, certainly not going up.

I'm a lot more savvy with my cards and have only used them to make use of discounts only if i have the money in my current account to pay it off when i get home.

daska

Caroline_a wrote: »

I really wouldn't do this. In this economic climate employers can take their pick of people, and, whatever the story behind it, a prospective employer won't care. He/she just wants someone who he/she has confidence in, that can just come in and do the job. Someone who's 'had a bad week' might have a bad week every week - I can have empathy for the OP, but a stranger who is looking to employ someone is unlikely to want to know.

I agree, you don't want to spoil your pitch when you might be the best person for the job. I hope it's comforting if I tell you that a friend of mine went to an interview a few weeks back all of 24 hours after her fiance walked out on her leaving her an emotional wreck (she thinks I'm the strong one LOL) and she got the job. It can be done.