Divorce & issues

nippy26

JCR wrote: »

I just have to add that I can understand the frustration you must feel with this "spineless weak man" having cut you off and you not able to contact him either to talk about it like adults. Sometimes the way people treat other people is so contemptable that it defies belief. A bit of common courtesy, especially when finishing a long term relationship would certainly not go amiss.

Good luck with being able to move on with your life and forget about a man so unworthy of you.

Awwww bless you.....haven't had a compliment like that for a while!!:T

wilburpig

Hi,
Someone else with the badge and the t shirt here. I wanted to offer some moral support. My husband told me about his 2 year affair 3 weeks after we had rented out our house and emigrated to the USA with our 3 kids. I managed to get our house back (we had rented it out) and move us all back home, get the kids school places back and all our furniture back from storage. The divorce is in progress and we are hoping to sort out money via mediation. Ironically we moved in June last year, taking out a much bigger mortgage. I am determined to keep the house and survive this nightmare for the kids sake. I have discovered that I am strong and independent, and I am proud of what I have achieved so far. He is a spineless, weak man.
You will survive this, and come out stronger. Knowledge is power - keep asking people on here, use the CAB and free solicitor advice, keep a diary for reference about any incidents and think positive.
Debbie

nippy26

wilburpig wrote: »

Hi,
Someone else with the badge and the t shirt here. I wanted to offer some moral support. My husband told me about his 2 year affair 3 weeks after we had rented out our house and emigrated to the USA with our 3 kids. I managed to get our house back (we had rented it out) and move us all back home, get the kids school places back and all our furniture back from storage. The divorce is in progress and we are hoping to sort out money via mediation. Ironically we moved in June last year, taking out a much bigger mortgage. I am determined to keep the house and survive this nightmare for the kids sake. I have discovered that I am strong and independent, and I am proud of what I have achieved so far. He is a spineless, weak man.
You will survive this, and come out stronger. Knowledge is power - keep asking people on here, use the CAB and free solicitor advice, keep a diary for reference about any incidents and think positive.
Debbie

Thanks for your support too and I am sorry to hear you are in the same boat so to speak - I realise I have no children and the situation could be so much worse. I have seen CAB and solicitor and today mortgage advisor too. Looks like I will have to sell the house, so will put on the market asap - just want this horrible nightmare to be gone. The most frustrating part is him making no attempt whatsoever to discuss finances. Promises of phone calls are not fulfilled - it's like he's waiting with his hand out and I have to sort everything else!! It's just unreal and there's nothing I can do about it! I will get there eventually I know - good luck with sorting your own out:-)

Kimitatsu

Hey Nippy

Hang on in there it will get better - promise!

You can send any letters to his work address as that is the only contact you ahve for him. In the event he doesnt get them (you know I didnt sign for it therefore I havent had it!) you can get the court baliffs to serve the papers in person to him. As long as they can identify him he is deemed to have been served, so cant wriggle out of it.

Also, check with your solicitor, but if you paid the lions share of the deposit on the house then the equity in the house is split along those lines. So if you contributed 80% of the deposit then you get 80% of the equity after the mortgage has been settled.

Most of all look after yourself, he is not worth your tears :A

Forgetful

Does anyone know how muchit will cost for a basic divorce??

sunshine_star

for a basic divorce you can go to the courts and pick up all the forms in a pack.
if you are on a low income you can apply for exemption and it will not cost a penny.
the forms are very straight forwards and the counter staff can help with any queries (although they can't give advice)
also you can down load all the forms /guides etc from hm courts website.
i did it myself earlier this year ........its easy

good luck

eira

I really do feel for you- excellent advice on this board. Before seeing a solicitor I would see a financial advisor /accountant to look at the finances. Get a copy of the 'Which Guide to Divorce' so you are armed with the facts-do not rely on the solicitor.
Do not panic-you can hang on to the marriage for 5 years before you are pressured into ending the marriage. Don't let anyone rush you into things you don't want to do-put yourself first (unless there are children involved in which case you and the kids come first).
You have done the wisest thing in freezing the joint accounts- far far more sensible than I was.
Ensure that you get the mortgage statements (my ex set up a PO address, cut back the maintenance payments and watched the mortgage slipping into the red. )
If the other party is a serial monogamist-beware. They have experience and can often have made a killing from previous divorces.

Nothing can make divorce easy-unless you are of the above persuasion. The only thing I would say from bitter experience is that sorting out the finances makes it a lot easier to bear-and you can genuinely move on and make a new life.

Good fortune- thinking of you