Paying for fertility treatment (IVF)

memoryoftrees

I am using my DNA, I am SHARING my eggs. This means that another lady will be able to get pregnant.

No, the DNA won't be hers but the baby will have DNA from her husband or partner. In addition to this she gets to experience pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding. She gets to experience the joys of bringing up a child from birth without getting "you aren't my real mum" thrown in her face, she doesn't have to explain to a six year old that he lives with them now because his birth mother let a !!!!!phile live with them.

Really, if you want to adopt, do so, if someone else wants to go through egg or sperm donation, let them do so. Assuming they are loving parents who will bring their children up well, seriously, who cares?

Your post didn't offend me exactly but it did, despite my best efforts, annoy me because people with fertility issues get treated like some sort of sub-species where this sort of thing is concerned and while no one would dream telling a happy couple who conceived through having sex that they are selfish and should adopt the poor needy kids out there, if you have a problem with your plumbing or if your partner does those sorts of comments are par for the course.

Here's a shocking thought - maybe the birth parents of the "poor needy kids" are the selfish ones for failing to provide a safe, nurturing home in which their kids can thrive? :eek:

Dizziblonde - thanks, but don't worry about getting it removed. I personally would rather people asked and then I can answer than have it bubbling and festering underneath with a silent indignation at the selfishness of people who want a baby.

memoryoftrees

I looked into going abroad but I think I'd rather stay in the good old UK all things considered

Definitely won't be using any dodgy drugs!

tea_lover

Ah the good old "why don't you just adopt" line.....almost as irritating as "relax and it will happen".

Best of luck OP. I think most clinics actively encourage you to shop around for drugs, as they make up such a big part of the expense. I'm in the west mids too and have just had treatment, am usually around here if you ever fancy a chat.

sulkisu

Also, don't forget to keep trying naturally - you never know. I conceived naturally twice long after I thought it was possible (aged 44 and 45) . If it can happen to me with my medical history, (almost) anything is possible .

memoryoftrees

Lol - I'm trying as a single woman using donated sperm so the chances of it happening naturally are fairly remote! I agree with you for couples though; I do know a lot of second-borns conceived using the 'conventional' route shall we say!

Tea lover, all the best to you as well and to everybody setting out to become a parent, regardless as to how :T

mountainofdebt

memoryoftrees wrote: »

Lol - I'm trying as a single woman using donated sperm so the chances of it happening naturally are fairly remote!

So that's another can of worms opened then lol!

memoryoftrees

mountainofdebt wrote: »

So that's another can of worms opened then lol!

Only if people want to make it so

I'm quite happy with it.

FatVonD

Jesus Christ, at no point, anywhere, did Kayalana say 'why don't you just adopt' to the OP, she was referring to somebody else, who isn't here and who is a theoretical person in any case, which was quite clear, was everyone just waiting to get on their soapbox??

memoryoftrees

I'm not sure people were getting on their soapboxes to be honest FatVonD.

People regularly suggest adoption as an alternative to fertility treatment because their perception of adoption is quite old-fashioned shall we say and they genuinely do not realise just what it involves.

My irritation is reserved for people who believe others should adopt when they have not done so themselves!

FatVonD

Of course they were, Kayalana hadn't suggested you adopt and everybody jumped on her with comments such as 'Ah the good old "why don't you just adopt" line', it was like greyhounds off the starting blocks!