Depression II

geminilady

Tiff wrote: »

Hi again gem!:wave:
Atta girl hun!:T You know all the answers as I said. Methinks that maybe a little part of you 'enjoys' the challenge of breaking through to him.
When you are being hurt and neglected hun, it's not about breaking your word - it's about changing your mind and protecting yourself!!! You don't need to keep hurting yourself like this gemmy - throw the sim card away when you're ready hun so he can never jump in and out of your life again and go look for your happiness angel.;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Hi Tiff,Thanks very much for both your posts,as always you give good advice and have great insight.Have you ever thought of becoming a councilor?I think you would do a great job.I was right when i said N would text me,he did the next day to say he hoped i had enjoyed my birthday.At first i just said yes ty but later i said i don't know why you asked because you don't care.A bit childish i know but it did hurt when he did not remember.He did say it was honestly meant but then went on the defensive and said if i wanted to be that way i had best do one lol.I was not suprised as i know he reacts badly to the slightest critism and he has text since.I know you are thinking of me when you say i should change my mobile but i just can't at the moment.Anyway he would still be in my head and i can't change that lol.I will try and distance myself though. A couple of things you said struck a chord

"Yet you seem unable to move on because what you see in him, are all the things you want for yourself in a relationship"
When we first "met" he was trying to get back with an x girlfriend,he spent months looking for her and was very persistant even though she said she wanted nothing to do with him.He did not give up and eventualy got his second chance,it did not work out but it took him a long time to get over her.Nobody has ever cared about me that way and i have never met anyone who would put in that much effort so i think that is what i wanted for myself.

"Methinks that maybe a little part of you 'enjoys' the challenge of breaking through to him."
This is very true,N is very complex,has had mentel health problems and literaly does not trust anyone,just want him to believe he can trust me.Something is bothering him this weekend he told me he fealt like crying from the moment he woke up but won't tell me why, it is so frustrating for me because how can i help if i don't know the reason?I told him what i believe that bottling things up does not help because things just go round and round in your head but he just said that it was his problem and he would be ok.
So all i could do is say let me know if theres anything i can do.
Anyway it is not long till your holiday,you must be looking forward to it.I hope the wether keeps up for you.I had to laugh at your post about your son,it will be a learning experiance for him and i am sure he will be fine.
Take care,gem x

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

;Hi Rbk hun
On the up i found a new drink , white wine and lemonade, yummi

Hi rose!:hello:
Which of course you wouldn't take while on meds, would you hun?
You know you shouldn't touch the dizzy water while on meds, don't you angel?
Tiffy doesn't want to see any more of this...:D





:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
In answer to your question hun, I can't say what your dr will suggest but the best idea is to talk it through with him. Nothing to lose there.
Oh and yes, you can come off the naughty step!:rotfl:
How are you hun? I hope you're well and you're out in the sunshine.
Take care rose.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

slowlyfading wrote: »

Good morning everyone.
Thank you for your kind words of support. Unfortunately, I couldn't hold out all night and have cut this morning. Now my wrists are sore and its my own fault I know. It helped for about 10 minutes like normal, and then it just hurts and now I have to figure out how to cover it all up. -sigh-
hope everyone has a good day.
sf x x

Hi sf!:hello:
Please make sure your wounds are cleaned and dressed hun.

I wish I'd also been here to back up the wonderful support given by the other guys.:T :A
I cried for you when I read this because we're just at the other end of a computer screen and completely helpless. I'm glad it wasn't more serious sf - we'd have been devastated. This is how people feel when someone they care about sh's or od's.
I'm glad you posted to ask for support sf, but sad that you did it in the a.m. anyway.:o I can only imagine why you did it hun, although generally it's believed to be a way of letting out pain. But are the pain and lifetime scars worth ten minutes of relief angel?:o You're a kind heart hun and there's no-one here that wouldn't help if they could.;)
Come tomorrow hun, please tell your gp - they need to set you up with an out of hours phone number for the local mental health Crisis Team so you can call them - they will visit people 24 hours a day. I know the Samaritans are good,:A , but imho, sometimes it takes someone actually sitting right in front of you to make a difference.;)
I hope you're feeling better now sf (I'm now on page 29!:rolleyes: ) and that you'll get some extra support that you deserve.:T Thinking of you angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi goldie!:hello:
How are you hun? I hope you're feeling a little better.;)
quote=imported_goldie;
Tiff, thank you so much for your reply, you put so much effort into it.
You're welcome hun. Everyone here is so supportive. Effort? No angel - you just can't shut me up!:D :rolleyes:
Would you be my therapist?? You do talk a lot of sense, just need akickstart to act on it.
Of course I will hun - talk to Aunty Tiff - (Hi cb2!:wave:) - any time.:rolleyes: You might need even more therapy afterwards though!:eek:

For now i am staying with the omega 3 and if they dont work will go back on the ant-d's. They did actually work in that they stopped suicidal thoughts etc but the night sweats are a nightmare. Will see how it goes.
That's great goldie - keep your options open.:T Right now with all this heat, we've all got the night sweats.:o

Would be more inclined to see counsellor if i didnt have a hearing problem . When i went to the docs last year I asked to see a therapist specialising in hearing loss. She looked into it and said they didnt have one in my area but the "normal" therapist at my practice felt she could help. I made the appointment with her but when i got there she came out and called my name three times before i heard it. I knew then it was a non starter if she knew i was hoh but didnt make the effort to raise her voice. She also had a foreign accent (nightmare for hoh folks) so made my excuses and left! It ishard to make an effort to go out when i know i will encounter difficulties with hearing people.
Of course it does angel! As I said, if your dr says there isn't a specialist in the area, then you need to ask your dr to get one referred - even if it's via a mental health clinic or to see a psychiatrist/psychologist.
You shouldn't have to put up with second class treatment goldie just because you're hoh! To me that's almost discrimination. Now I'm a terribly ticked off Tiff!




You should be getting practical help hun - why should you be shut out from the world? You're not the first hoh person in the world!

Another thought would be to contact your local Social Services Adult Team - they also can access resources to help people live independantly.;)
I did a little research for you goldie - hope you don't mind. Have a look at the following links. This first one is an executive briefing on providing mental health services for hoh, deaf and blind people.
http://66.102.9.104/search?q=cache:XCoqpvSbXUcJ:www.deaf-friendly.org.uk/SIGN_Executive_Briefing.pdf+hard+of+hearing+advocates&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=10&gl=uk&lr=lang_en
http://www.catholiccaringservices.org.uk/deaf.htm
http://www.deaf-access.co.uk/da/11338
http://www.deaf247.co.uk/Charities.php
http://www.deafcouncil.org.uk/daw/2004h.htm
http://www.rnid.org.uk/howwehelp/our_services/care_services/mhs/
http://www.royaldeaf.org.uk/page.php?id=100160
http://www.bsmhd.org.uk/
http://www.hearingconcern.org.uk/lnk_home.html
These are more or less national ones hun, but if you google ''hard of hearing mental health'', you will find so many links that cover specific areas of the country. I didn't know where you lived, so left them out.
I don't know who's the best and I'm not a professional hun by any means so time for you to have a good browse.;) I've just given you some links but I don't know them personally. Hope this helps angel. Take care hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx
Double check hun, that they haven't got a hearing loop facility. I don't know if it will help but as I understand it, any medical facilties should be able to access one for the hoh.

Tiff_2

quote=razorbladekisses;
Tiff, What lovely replies you write Bless you hun - this forum is swarming with wonderful people.:T :A
I hope that you are OK and looking after yourself.

I'm all right angel, thanks.:rolleyes:

Think how proud you will be of yourself when the trip is over. I really do hope you enjoy it while you are there and most importantly relax Just think of yourself for the whole duration.
lol @ your son. Awww bless him. It sounds like the weeks you are away will be a very big learning curve for him I'm sure he will be fine though.
Tiff, you definately 100% deserve this break!!!
(((HUGS)))
Thanks for the reassurance and kind words angel. I'm not going to worry too much now. Neither of us will know what we can do until we try, says Tiff shaking in her fur!:eek:

This might sound like a silly question but what is a mental health advocate?
No such thing as a silly question angel!;)
A Mental Health Advocate is available to anyone with mental ill health. You contact them via your gp or your local mental health clinic who should have their number. It is confidential and free and the advocate can visit you in a clinic or while you're at home.

They cannot represent or advise you legally in a court. They are very much an expert in what can and can't be done in connection to someone with mental ill health.
They can go to ward rounds or tribunals or hearings or appointments with you. They can advise you and explain or discuss options with you at such times. They make sure you are treated properly and that rules are followed and that you know about all the help you can get. They can help you with related matters such as housing, finances, appeals etc. and have knowledge of other organizations and what they do.
In short, they are like your own mental ill health angel, rbk!:T

Unfortunately I don't have anyone that I can take with me to any meetings that I attend. They have always asked me to bring a friend/relative but I just don't have anyone that I can ask
I think I will do as you suggested, write it all down and give it to them. I think it will be easier to do it that way. Whenever it's talking I tend to say very little even if I've got it all my head and really do want to tell them.
I have attended all appointments that have been given to me. They just don't seem to know how to help me and I don't know what to do to help myself either.
She didn't give any reasons. She just agreed with what I said and then made the comment that I had been with the team a long time now e.t.c and I interpreted that as meaning it's time you left us now. She really is useless. A nice person but provides no real help. Agreeing, nodding, sitting there and staring at me doesn't help me in the slightest :mad: Basically I don't think she knows what I need and I don't either.
I had a CPN while in hospital and for about 2 weeks after I left but then he left and I got a social worker instead. He was actually alright. I think he would have been quite a good support.
Imho hun,I'd go back to your dr/mental health team and say that there isn't any benefit from having this social worker and that you feel you'd benefit more from having a CPN. It's common to get one or the other, unusual to get both.



Can I just say angel, try and listen to things she says but not interpret them? If you want to understand better, it is okay for you to ask her what she meant by that comment - it's important to understand what she tells you.;)
After comments you don't understand, you end up going home, confused, more down and worried about what's going to happen, when it may just be her opinion or her trying to say something else.
Even professionals need to explain things properly hun and how can you get better if you've interpretted information wrongly? Never be afraid to ask - eg. does this mean you're going to discharge me?, if that's what you're worried about. This is a good example of what a mental health advocate could do in attending your appointments with you.
Just make sure hun that you open up honestly about how you feel and what worries you and that you feel you need more help, not less, if that's the case. Again, your mental health advocate can go to this meeting with you angel.


They are fully aware that I have strong intentions of killing myself. You would think after 4 suicide attempts this year alone they would do something. I'm not actually scared of dying but sometimes I am scared of myself and the thoughts that I have if that makes any sense. It's like they are beyond my control.
This is why I couldn't understand what she was saying. I don't see how they could discharge you, if you're so at risk.

Thank you for your post hun Look after yourself (((HUGS)))
Right back at you angel. Take care.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx
/quote

Tiff_2

Sazbo wrote: »

Morning tiffy hun - how was your week? I'll drop you a line over the weekend. Take good care of yourself and feet up (Sazzy's orders!;):D)
Much love
Saz xxxxxxx

Hi sazzy!:hello:
How are you hun?
With all this training for the run, I'm expecting you to break the land speed record!:D Just be sure to slap on that suncream and keep hydrated ok sweetheart?;)
As for Tiffy, I'm all right thank you hun.;) Now maybe it's you who should put their feet up today!:D
Me? Put my feet up? Have you seen my life?!:rolleyes:
Look after yourself angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi qb!:hello:
How are you? Hope all is well. Just wanted to say good morning as I saw your light on.
Right - ol' Tiff is off for a lie down. I'm now at the bottom of page 30 and I'm tuckered out!
Never mind - it's nearly Christmas!

Wishing everyone a good Sunday. Hope you're all well and thinking of you.
Take care hun.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Tiff, Thank you for taking the time to explain what a mental health advocate is. I will definately enquire about it. I think it would be a big help.

I know I should have asked more questions but I'm just soo incredibly shy and quiet I did ask what a CPA was as I was unsure (even though I think I've had one before) and she kind of explained. You're right though if I'm unsure/confused I should just ask.

Perhaps they don't see me as a risk, I don't know tbh.

Anyway, (((HUGS))) I hope you are enjoying your weekend Tiff xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

:hello: guys,

slowlyfading

razorbladekisses wrote: »

What about wearing those gloves (they go up to the elbow) that I've seen people wear.



Do you have anything similar?

Thanks for the advice, although I dont think I'll be able to play the piano wearing gloves otherwise it would have been perfect. I'm going to have to put make up over them I think, and hope for the best.

I'm so nervous already this morning, and its not until tomorrow. But, I'm feeling much better generally. Sorry for bothering you all with this
sf x x