I think my friends are trying to convince me I'm going mad when I'm not!

krustylouise

I'm going through something similar ATM, where I've been single for 7months and because I'm not going out having sex with anything that moves I'm apparently "lonely, unhappy and isolating myself" no perhaps I'm a single mum who works full time and doesn't have the inclination to meet a new fella after the last one cheated on me?

You know yourself, you know if you feel down, or depressed, or happy. Stick to your guns, have faith in yourself and blimming well ignore these people, if they don't want to listen to you and won't stop pressuring you simply because you had the confidence to take a stand, then they're not true friends and you deserve better!

kashkarena

yeah i would cool things off for a while but not before telling them face to face that you are NOT depressed and that you would appreciate if they respected your opinions like you have always respected theirs. If they are true friends , they will see the light.

Saturnalia

If a real friend thought you had depression they'd try to help & support you, they wouldn't threaten you with losing their friendship!

If there is any doubt at all in your mind, doctors use a questionnaire as a diagnosis tool and probably the mental health orgs will have it on their websites - but TBH it doesn't sound like you need it, your friend is just throwing her toys out the cot because you stood up for yourself!

marisco_2

Dinosaur_Train wrote: »

I have two [STRIKE]friends[/STRIKE] aquaintances that I always see at the same time.

There, corrected for you. These two immature individuals are not being real friends to you. One comes across as being domineering and aggressive. She is not open to the idea that in adult relationships there is give and take, an acceptance that everyone has their own views and opinions and can bring their individuality to a friendship. The other comes across as a tad gullible and easily influenced by someone who for whatever reason seems to have an agenda to isolate you.

To be honest I was quite shocked when you revealed that you have a dh and a child, as the behaviour traits you describe in your friends are more akin to that of school children. For this to be going on when people are 20+ is unusual.

I do not believe you are depressed, just ground down and fed up of being around people who carry on in this fashion. I think it is highly possible that if you stay in contact with these people that they will just make you feel worse and worse. Cut them loose if they continue in this vein and be more choosy in future over who you mix and socialise with.

duchy

I'd be tempted to text them back saying "LOL I think the joke that I am depressed because I "dared" to disagree with *friend 1* is getting a bit old ....It was funny at first though girls <vbg> "

Either they'll back off or they'll sulk-either way you'll get some peace.

browneyedbazzi

I agree with the others - your behaviour has changed (by standing up for yourself when you wouldn't usually) and because it isn't a change they like, they've decided there's something wrong with it and for whatever reason think that when someone's behaviour changes it must be depression. To my way of thinking, developing the confidence to stand up to someone and stand your ground is quite opposite to depression (provided it wasn't done in a fit of temper which can be a symptom of depression).

If neither of these friends are trained psychologists or doctors, and you don't have any symptoms of depression then just accept that these two 'friends' don't know what they are talking about and aren't really friends. As others have said, even if they were qualified to diagnose depression the way they're treating you isn't the way friends would behave (and is even worse if they are qualified because they should know better!)

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Sounds like a smoke screen to me for your assertive behaviour which they are not used to,especially the forthright friend. Putting the blame on you rather than them. In counselling terms it's called transference of guilt. The dynamics in the group have changed and they are not used to it.
Even if you were depressed then as friends they could tell you,but it would be up to you to do something about it. Some people live on a low level of depression all their lives and don't do take action.

bagpussbear

It seems they have taken your standing up for yourself/assertiveness as a change of character and have wrongly assessed you as being depressed, rather than face their own issues about being horrid to you (well one of your friends anyway). They are cowards really.

For the more aggressive 'friend' I would be blunt and say I am not depressed, simply annoyed at the way you spoke to me on the night out and you've not apologised (I'm guessing that she is one you'd be less bothered about seeing again)?

The other friend I would say how annoyed you were at the other one, you were simply sticking up for yourself and not depressed, and that you hope she understands that this isn't about depression. And see which way she goes I guess.

Dinosaur_Train

Thank you everyone for the replies. I'm going to cut them both off for now and not meet up with them. I'm thinking if Friend 1 can be this convincing over something minor, what other stuff is she convincing the other friend about me, and even worse, more fool friend 2 for believing it all.

BitterAndTwisted

Friend One is so aggressive she'll probably stop at nothing to try and bring you back to heel. That's rather a frightening thought, isn't it? Let us know what her next tactic is, as I'm sure there will be one.