Christening or no christening?????

ktb

I am an atheist and would never dream of disrespecting the Christian faith or making a total hypocrite of myself for the sake of a church wedding or Christening service. I honestly dont think that if you dont mean every word of your vows to God then what on earth is the point or value in what you are saying? In this day and age there are so many suitable & lovely alternatives... I think the argument of tradition is totally outdated and makes hypocrites of alot of people.

I wasnt christened or brought up in a particularly religious family - although both my parents do believe in God. Totally off my own back I decided to attend Christian Union meetings at school and went Sunday School at our local church for a while when I was about 12. After learning the facts I realised that I thought it was all a load of absolute nonsense and that I was in fact Atheist.

I would offer my children all the information they wanted... about all world religions and the choice of not having one at all - it is such a personal thing... I would never dream of indoctrinating them into any way of thinking or believing before they were able to make an informed decision themselves...

Slightly off topic in regards of the cost of a christening... I dont know anything about that at all.. but perhaps the previous suggestions of a naming ceremony might be more appropriate if you are not religious?

bebebelle1975

What any parent chooses for their child is an individual choice.If a parent chooses to have their child christened then ,that should be respected and people should not stand in judgement.

If a parent decides against it, then that too is their choice to make.Each family have their own reasons for what they do to raise a happy ,whole and positive family experience.

I think all the energy people put into judging people, should be directed into improving their own lives and the world would be a much better place.

bylromarha

I'm a Christian, go to church every week, and my DD who's 10 months old will not be christened, but instead have a thanksgiving service, as I'm not convinced baptising a baby is an independent choice of that child to follow Jesus.

It isn't our choice as parents what she will believe when she gets older, but hers. We are having a service to thank God for her, and to pray that God helps us as parents in our responsibilities towards her.

We're going to have a big party with all our friends and family, a bouncy castle, picnic etc etc etc

Anyone want to come?!

Rikki

My eldest was christened as a baby and now at the age of 18 he has just been confirmed. This was his choice.

kimbatty

We haven't and would never enforce any religion upon our children, I believe they should just form their own opinions about this sort of thing when they're old enough. They get taught a certain amount in school about stories from the bible and I do call them stories because no-one really knows if any of it's true particularly

I certainly wouldn't have any of mine christened as I am not aat all religious and I could not make promises in a church about my child and how we would bring it up in a religious way when that just wouldn't happen

jillie1974

absolutebounder wrote: »

Surely you should wait until the baby is old enough to make its own decision as to whether it wants to join the cult. There is no age limit for being indoctrinated.

my mum and dad did this with me but after 4 years when my brother came along we were both christened. this was due partly to pressure my mum's parents put on her but i dont think i have come off any worse and for about 10 years was very involved in my parish.
back to original post... is should be a jont decision between you and your partner. it certainly doesnt have to be expensive... lol a girl i work with recently had her lo christened and they invited over 100 people to the do :eek:
much prefer a smaller more intimate event myself...

Carmina_Piranha_3

my children aren't christened. my husband and i both grew up in the church but neither of us go nowadays so we thought it would be silly get married in church or christen our children. my in-laws go to church and would like to have our children christened but my husband says no. if it was up to me i suppose i'd probably say okay then, they can arrange it if they want to if it means a lot to them. it would just be a one-off though, unless they decided later on that they wanted to attend church/get confirmed etc.

i went to a christening last week and it all felt very wrong. the church was packed (we are a large family and it was a good party afterwards) but nobody there was a church-goer. not even the godparents. the parents of the children were forced to attend church for a couple of weeks beforehand, and after the service they were given a certificate or something similar that they need to bring back when they get confirmed later on. the vicar must have known that nobody had any intention of those children EVER going back to church unless for a funeral or wedding. it all felt really unpleasant and i thought at the time that the parents were disrespecting the Christian faith, mocking it by telling lies in church.

is anyone in your family christian?

Sarahsaver

bylromarha wrote: »

I'm a Christian, go to church every week, and my DD who's 10 months old will not be christened, but instead have a thanksgiving service, as I'm not convinced baptising a baby is an independent choice of that child to follow Jesus.

It isn't our choice as parents what she will believe when she gets older, but hers. We are having a service to thank God for her, and to pray that God helps us as parents in our responsibilities towards her.

We're going to have a big party with all our friends and family, a bouncy castle, picnic etc etc etc

Anyone want to come?!

Thank goodness for level headed people like you!
Some pressure still exists in some people, Mum did ask me not if but WHEN I was getting DD christened. I have been to a christening in a Catholic church where one parent is Catholic and the other is not, and they are having to say they will bring the child up as a Catholic. Hmmm... I know I could not base my marriage or parenting on being econimical with the truth.
Maybe if a christening left a permanent mark people would not do it just as a social event! Many of my friends' children have been circumcised for religious reasons, because their faith demands that.
Have a bring a bottle party, wet the baby's head as it were;) even get eveyone to bring a food item and it need cost you nothing at all!

margaretclare

Can I just add my fourpence?

There is at least one branch of Christianity where they do NOT believe in infant baptism. They are called 'Baptists'. Anyone growing up in this branch of the faith has the opportunity to undergo baptism whenever he/she feels able to make the commitment for himself/herself, knows exactly what he/she is doing and makes that choice. I have the greatest respect for them.

Having said that, a lot has been written about allowing a child to make up his/her own mind and not have decisions made by others as a baby. In that case, how is the child supposed to make up his/her own mind without an exposure to what we in this country have believed for a long time? What do Christmas and Easter, for instance, mean to such a child? Yes, I'm aware that multi-culturalism has now been built into the national curriculum and so a child at school is likely to get to know all about Diwali, Eid and the like, but still go home thinking that Easter is all about chocolate eggs!

FWIW I have been a churchgoer for most of my life. I haven't always been a member of the same branch of Christianity but I have always been an active member of one of its branches. There was an occasion when I worked in Saudi in 1989 when an attempt was made to convert me to Islam. This was a well-meaning attempt by two young colleagues, doctors from the ward where I was a senior midwife, and it was when I was very ill in hospital. I told them that I hadn't been a very good Christian but I would be a worse Muslim, and if God spared me and I went home, I would practise my own religion rather than adopt another one.

My DH and I have been members of our local Methodist Church since he came here, nearly 10 years ago now. We were married in church - we wanted to say our vows in front of God and all our church friends. A couple of years ago he decided to be baptised and confirmed, and this was in his 70th year. He came from a completely different religious tradition which he had rejected in his teens. Yes, Sarahsaver, he was circumcised and became bar mitzvah but did not take it any further than that.

Our church has a mother-and-toddler group and we are finding that parents are now joining the church following their babies and toddlers. There is absolutely no 'fear of hellfire' preached nowadays. The emphasis is living as good a life as possible in this world. However, it also provides companionship and a sense of community. There's an awful lot of loneliness out there.

Margaret

Claire_Jones_3

poe.tuesday wrote: »

I am not religious but I find it really hypicritical that people would marry in a church or have their child baptised when they are not religious/follow that faith, it's bad enough that the majority of the country celebrates christmas when that majority don't follow the faith, me included, but I wouldn't marry in a church or have my children baptised

winge over ;-)

I feel I need to defend myself a bit here, I went to Church as a child with school, brownies, guides & my Nan etc but never went with my parents as they chose not to go. I found the church we went to very unwelcoming and not somewhere you wanted to spend your time, therefore I stopped attending but my faith did not stop.

However my FIL is a regular church attendee (every week if work allows but to a different church) and I love going there with him when I can. The Vicar is a wonderful man who is approachable and above all human, he doesn't make you feel insecure or out of place.

Due to this man it completely changed my views on the C of E church as a whole and enjoy going again as much as when I was a child. Therefore I wanted to re-affirm my feelings with God and although I don't preach to anyone else about my beliefs God is still with me. This is why we wanted to be married in the eyes of God and by this particular Vicar as he is so wonderful. My husband and I will give our baby the best start we can but feel with the guidance from Vicar Harvey and its Godparents baby will be a better and open minded person. I could speak to the Vicar about anything that was worrying me about our wedding and life together and he was very approachable.

I have been to Midnight mass for the last few years with my husband and FIL apart from the last one as I was ill. We also try to go at other times of the year but it is difficult to attend as often as I'd like as its 200 miles away! Its just such a shame we can't move the church nearer to us.

When someone mentions christening I just collected the service together in my mind I didn't realise a thanksgiving service was something that can be done but my baby hasn't even been born yet so I've not spoken to our Vicar about it. As this is my first child and no-one in my family has been christened in the last 15yrs I don't necessarily understand the full implications of each type of service.

Everyone choses to live life differently, some with religion some without but as long as we, our families and friends are happy then it is up to the individual how they choose to live their life. Parents just want to give the best start in live to their children and for me if that means the church's door is always open to them for prayer/support or whatever they need it for by having them christened as a child I will do that.

Maybe we should all take from this thread that we are different and respect each others opinons without having to make judgements about them. The OP just wanted an idea of cost and of peoples experiences of christenings not a debate on religion and who is to blame for everything wrong in the world, how about instead of moaning about why its wrong, do something about it.