Cannot afford child maintenance - Please help

DeeDee74

FBaby wrote: »

and the fact you moaned because your other ex dared asking for some maintenance for your first daughter despite some 'agreement' that you would pay nothing? Are you paying for your first born too now?

Not going by there last post the $5 weekly payment was 2high:eek:

pink_princess

nickdj wrote: »

Thank you everyone for your help.

I've looked at my finances hundreds of times trying to work out how to save that little bit extra. I moved closer to work but it still costs me about £20 a week for fuel and it's too far to cycle. I even drive like an old woman trying to save fuel (laughs) and I don't go anywhere unless I have to.

I agree that 50:50 is fair in regards to the weekends and although having an extra weekend off seems nice at first the girls have already voiced that they would miss me. I still work full time so having them during the week probably isn't going to make much difference.

There isn't any contact order in place but they are used to seeing their dad every weekend. This will obviously make a big difference to them. I've also got the divorce going through and I doubt I will be able to pay for my share of the proceedings.

If the ex would agree to the payments remaining the same I would be a little happier but the suggestion would cause an argument.

Anyone got any good ideas how I should approach this or what I could do on this extra weekend off to make £40? (laughs) I doubt the CSA are going to be of any use with or without a full breakdown of my expenses. I also have a debt I pay about £40 a month (interest) for but I'm only paying the interest not clearing the balance. I've had them for several years.

Thanks again for listening to my sob story :-)

Can you clean neighbours/friends cars? Cut grass etc?

Even though you have looked at your overheads many times, the people on dfw look at them day in day out and know many different ways that could surprise you.

It is worth a shot as your children do need supporting.

Treevo

peachyprice wrote: »

Where on earth did you get that from, cos OP didn't say it. Do you know him in RL?

His (many) previous threads on the subject.

nickdj

Hello everyone.

Thanks for all your posts.

Just to clarify. I previously posted a thread because I asked the ex if I could have one weekend off a month because up until that time I had my two girls (then 2 and 3) every weekend from Friday to Monday. As a result I had completely neglected my family and friends for over a year and I felt really bad about it. My mother died from cancer about 5 years ago and my step father lives 150 miles away, with alzheimer's, and completely on his own. The other reason I asked this was because the girls wouldn't get to see the ex's family at weekends so it was a win win situation I thought.
It wasn't so much as having a social life parse but to be good step-son, friend, brother etc. It was a well thought out request and for all the right reasons.

Anyway, there has been a slight change of events and thought I would share it with you all. I had a call today from the CSA (ex must have contacted them first before telling me!) and the increase was a little less than I expected. Worked out to be £26 pm. I then got a letter from my work saying they had given me a pay rise of £30 pm. So, from a financial point of view I'm about even again (phew). I've also had a chat with my ex-ex (mother of my first daughter - 15) and she's been supportive. If anything it means I can see more of my eldest on the extra weekend off so I'm pretty happy with that. I am now paying towards my eldest (mutual agreement) as its felt a little unfair. I cancelled my mobile phone contract to free up the funds.

So, still going to struggle (don't we all) but I can feel relieved it's not any worse. It will however be very hard to see less of my two youngest after all this time but that's something I have to deal with.

Funny how things work out. :-)

Keep smiling.

FBaby

Glad it is working out. Just remember though that your ex could ask for a reconsideration and your pay rise will be taken into account. Still your ex might be pleased just to have a bit more of her daughters week-end too and not so bothered about the few extra pounds.

And indeed, it will be good to have more time with your teenager. At that age, it is important for them to have 1-1.

silvercar

Do CSA know that you are also paying maintenance for your eldest? This should be taken into account when calculating how much you should be paying.