Tips on keeping a great relationship

fannyanna

I think there are a lot of different factors that impact on the quality of a relationship. I also think what makes one couple work will not necessarily work for another couple.

With regards to me and my Husband I think the fact that he's laid back is very important as I'm quite high strung.

We have common interests so enjoy each others company. But at the same time we have our individual interests and will go off and do our own thing.

I think humour is a big thing within our relationship. I know that the lust in our relationship will go up and down at different points but we're always enjoy each others company and be able to have fun together. And that is why I value our relationship.

CharlieRabbit01

lika_86 wrote: »

Time apart. Not loads, but I think both people need the odd weekend to themselves without the other. I know some couples who whinge on Facebook about their partner being away even for one night which I think is unhealthy because you start to lose who you are as an individual and I think that knowing yourself and being comfortable in your own company is important.

agreed, it annoys me when i'm going off to stay with my friend for a few days and one of my friends says "oh how can you be away from him, have you made sure he's got food and things to do whilst your away?"

What is that about? he's 25 and can fend for himself.

Joons

I've been with my partner nearly 11 years and even now I can go from loving him to bits to thinking he's the biggest idiot on the planet. A lasting relationship I have found has more chance if you can accept each other's flaws, mistakes, wrong judgements etc....I can as long as there is complete faithfullness.

CharlieRabbit01

sounds like you've got a good balance, I've found things tend to go a bit stale when you live together as your with each other all the time, so you have to make time to have fun and spice it up abit.

Bufger

from a male perspective I think its critical to know when the time of the month is coming so you can make yourself scarce for the 3-4 days beforehand.

That and a good set of headphones.

Pee

Panda78 wrote: »

For me the biggest part of a relationship is friendship. A lot of people don't seem to treat their partner's as nicely as they do their best friends!

A very good point. Your partner should be one of your best friends and if a friend cooked a meal for you, you would say thank you.

andygb

marisco wrote: »

That is a healthy part of a good relationship too. Keeping a level of independance is important.

I think that this is a really important point, and it would be a good warning to those people in a relationship, who try to mould or change the other person to suit their needs.
Once you have found your "ideal partner", stay with them because of what they are like, don't imagine that you can turn them into something else, because that path can lead to resentment.
We have a relation in her twenties, who married a nice, successful guy, but she is constantly bragging about how she stopped him doing something, be it hobbies or going places. The result is that he has changed, for the worse. He has gone from being outgoing, cheerful and witty, to someone with a short temper. At social gatherings he spends most of his time in the kitchen preparing food and then washing up. His wife doesn't cook and hates housework, and he works long hours, then comes home and has to do more.
I have referred to my OH and me as a "team". We have our ups and downs, life is not a bed of roses, but we can cuddle up on the sofa and watch a film, and go for long walks at weekends - snow permitting:mad:
After 22 years, we are just very comfortable and happy to be with each other, and I guess that is as much as you can hope for.:)

marisco_2

Well said andygb. That is exactly what I was trying to convey. My uncle said similar in his speech at my wedding. Though he related it to being like trees, having roots but free to sway in the breeze so it went over most peoples heads! He always has been a bit odd :rotfl:

heartbreak_star

It annoys me when people try and change their "ideal partner". If they were that ideal, why are you trying to change them?

There are a few things about my beloved OH that make me want to jump up and down in irritation sometimes...but they're part of him, and on the whole, I adore and love him

HBS x

marisco_2

Part of respecting and loving someone is knowing and accepting them for who they are. Warts and all. If a person feels the need to go out of their way to change their partner, then that suggests to me that they dont overly like the person and are a bad match. You develop and grow together in a good relationship. There is no need to stifle and suffocate each other. I would tire very quickly of someone who did that.