how to meet someone new?? In my 30s and starting afresh!!

marisco_2

Instead of going to the gym maybe think of joining a running club, or doing another activity that brings you into more contact with people. I have always found gyms to be quite boring, stifling places and not good for socialising.

Dont discount dating websites, it may just take time to find one that suits you.

Get out to social events when they come up and mingle, see who is there and start chatting to people. You may meet someone that you have lots in common with and can just take things from there.

A friend of mine did some speed dating. She took it all in the spirit of having some fun and enjoyed it. Came across plenty that weren't her type but it gave her the confidence to interact and mix.

ellay864

I found myself single at the age of 35 when my sons were 7 and 5, and with no family close by I felt pretty trapped and with no hope of finding somebody else. For a while I wasn't ready anyway but did get into chat rooms and from there I had a few dates and a bit of fun
But eventually I did want to be able to meet somebody who could become a proper part of my life and including my boys and did try some dating sites. I also wanted to meet men who knew how it was with kids etc. I did have a few dates but never felt it was quite right, but at the same time I'd got chatting to a guy in the chat room, not in any way flirty or with any view to it being more but did agree to meet him for lunch. We got on well enough to arrange another lunch date...then he invited me to a party...and things just went from there.
Hang on in there, find any medium you can to just meet, chat whatever and you'll probably find someone turns up without you trying too hard. Good luck

Kynthia

My sister met someone at a friend's birthday party and I met someone at a work leaving do who was a friend of the person moving on. Therefore accepting invitations to social events is one of the best ways of meeting someone as you never know when someone good may be brought along. Basically anything you can do to meet new people and interact with them maximises your chances.

Would it be worth telling your friends that you are looking to meet someone? Rather than 'set you up', they could at least invite new people and friends of friends to nights out.

OllysMum_2

Do an OU course! Lots of people on my courses matched up.... mainly the married ones :eek:

Panda78

I'd give dating sites a go. You can be as specific as you want with regards to your ideal match, so you will have common ground to discuss. Should make the date bareable, even if the spark is not there.

I'm 34 and newly single after 13 years. Never did the dating thing as i met my ex by chance in a restaurant and so far spent all my adult life with him. I cannot imagine how i'm going to meet anyone else when i'm ready to date again, but i make an effort to accept social invitations at work and will try dating sites when the time is right. I try to remember that i never planned on meeting my ex, i was out by myself and he started chatting to me, so it led on from there. I wasn't even dressed up, or looking my best, so there is hope for us all!

Bazey

fluffnutter wrote: »

I think you just need to hang out on here, meds12. Try the Arms. I've had some of my best shags from MSE!

Thanks for the testimonial Fluff! You have the best norks on MSE.

ostrichnomore_2

Why not try dating sites?

I think if you go into it with your head screwed on straight they can be quite good. I have a couple of friends who married men they met through them.

I'm trying out a local 'county' site. Met a couple of nice men who didn't click with me at all. Had some contact (without meeting) with quite a few twonks! Now seeing what seems to be a very nice man, early days yet so reserving judgement of course until we really know each other better, but we click in lots of ways. Don't know if it'll go anywhere, but I wouldn't have met him otherwise, and I'm having a nice time.

Bufger

fluffnutter wrote: »

I think you just need to hang out on here, meds12. Try the Arms. I've had some of my best shags from MSE!

That really made me laugh! haha

I've thanked your post. Not for the comment but for the other night

Bufger

From a blokes perspective:

In gyms you'll mainly find meatheads and people that like themselves far more than they'll like you. The genuine guys in the gym are the guys there to work hard and change themselves for the better so if you choose that as a pickup place go for the sweaty guy that wont look himself in the mirror.

Days out with the kids are good. Kids are good common ground to talk to other parents so you may find your match there!

As others said you need to be in social circles to meet people. Enjoy doing the hobbies you like and join some more clubs. If you meet people doing these activities you already share something in common.

I wouldnt worry about the age bit too much. By having kids and being good with kids you'll find a mature man so age will be irrelevant. I think its just someone that understands the daily stresses, worries and joys of kids that will be a better suit.

Dont judge people solely on a first date. For some people meeting a new person in an unfamiliar environment doesnt always bring the best out in them. They may put on a show or withdraw and you wont get an understanding on what they're really like. Find something they like to do and if its a less formal meeting you may see a better side to someone. A trip to the cinemas, a walk in the park with a coffee etc.

I know what you're thinking but sorry i'm taken. I wish you lots of luck though and please dont stress as its not a race. Whether you meet him now or in 5 years time you wont grow old alone as you seem like a nice person.

bitemebankers

meds12 wrote: »

Hey thanks for your advice and well done on your fb relationship - I am rarely on there, and tbh I never really post statuses as I assume that people will not be interested in the rubbish that I would write! So I don't post any! I think my problem is, that I am not interested in one night stands (I, like most the female of the species, do not have any trouble when out on this!) but I'd like to meet people who fit quite a narrow criteria I guess!
1. Older than me
2. have kids already and are separated/divorced
3. solvent/ish
4. laid back / funny
5. Not petty!!!

That's not too narrow. Trust me, I've spent a fair bit of the last couple of years on dating sites and it sounds like you're being quite realistic. Dating sites are quite simply the most efficient way to meet new people that you might like. And my most important recommendation is to get your profile right. For the most part, it's the men who make the first contact (just like real life) so you want a profile that looks as appealing as possible. Then you can just sift through the messages that roll in and cherry-pick the best to respond to.

It's fair to say, if your profile is good, you will get a steady stream of messages from men just cruising for sex. This is an inevitable part of internet dating and something you just have to learn to ignore. If you can get past this aspect of it, it's a great way to meet a really broad range of interesting and engaging men.

Finally, best of luck!