I should have sat on my hands....

Pollycat

I think listening to negative people can be very draining.

My Mum is like that but, unlike you Victory, I can't text her to tell her she's lucky.

But whenever we're out and she's having a right old moan to someone she knows I point out that she's lucky that, at her age (80+) and having had a number of sucessful operations, she has reasonable health (certainly for her age), is not too short of money to worry about it and has 2 daughters who look after her health-wise and financially/administratively.

I tell her that some old people see no-one from one week to the next - but I really think it goes in one ear and out the other.

**professor~yaffle**

Well done you. You can only take so much of another person's negativity. Mind you, you'll probably be the baddie now so be prepared.

An ex-friend of mine (I'd say more acquaintance) is like this. I still bump into her from time to time and nothing's changed. Apparently her own mother was a dreadful depressive, so maybe the ingrained negativity has been picked up from her.

It just seems a shame she doesn't want to recognise this and try and do something about it. Things are always everybody else's fault. People just avoid the woman as much as they can because not only does she focus on all the negatives, she exaggerates them, twists things and barely tells half the story. The trouble is, after a while someone like that just starts to bring you down with them, they're such a drain on your energy.

sassyblue

Pollycat wrote: »

I think listening to negative people can be very draining.

So true. Some people just moan for the sake of it and it's awful listening to their tales of woe.

I used to be a bit like that, it was the example set to me by my mum sadly but since l've decided to be a glass half full person, life is soooo much happier.

Victory, l think your friend should have been pleased you said it politely, if it doesn't give her the kick up the bum she needs then next time her behaviour could lose her another friend.

SmallL

It depends on the person but im often very negative.
I'v learnt that it stems from when i was 12-16 and my parents told me it was entirely my fault i had eczema (it was severe) and that i should simply stop scratching.
It made me depressed and angry with myself and them, as i got older i did realize it wasn't my fault and even now at 21 i feel like i want people to simply say 'its not your fault, your coping well' .

On the flip side, i find it hard to listen to other peoples problems, especially financial ones, i tend to think 'what i would give to have 'normal skin' '

It can be quite hard to empathize yourself if your having chronic problems, im trying my hardest, but it is very difficult at times.

bylromarha

Or you could play it the other way.

You think you've got problems? Try.....

Had a friend whinging the other week how hard it was having a baby with a cold. Told him to turn Comic relief on for 5 mins. Never had a reply to that one.

thehappybutterfly

Yep, good for you Victory. You tried to be positive and upbeat with her and it didn't work. Now you've been a bit more to the point - maybe it's the kick up the rear end she needs.

ca55ie

Yep you did the right thing Victory - some people are happy being miserable without seeing how it brings down the mood of those around them.
I have a "friend" like her and whenever things get me down I remind myself - it could be worse I could be her !! :j

Joons

Sounds like she pushed you to it lol, most negative people I have known are no longer my friends, can't be bothered with people in constant black moods, life is hard enough, they just make it harder and more depressing. Sounds like u've let yourself off the hook there with her.

bright_side

She sounds just like my OH, can I send him your number?? :rotfl:

Person_one

bylromarha wrote: »

Or you could play it the other way.

You think you've got problems? Try.....

Had a friend whinging the other week how hard it was having a baby with a cold. Told him to turn Comic relief on for 5 mins. Never had a reply to that one.

Honestly, I'm not surprised you didn't get a reply.

Remember when you were a kid and you didn't like broccoli, how annoying it was to be told that you should eat it because there are children starving in Africa?

There will always be somebody worse off, but I don't think that means people aren't allowed to be a bit annoyed by the small stuff every now and then. Having a baby with a cold isn't a barrel of laughs, is it so wrong to expect a bit of sympathy from a friend.