Would you leave a nine year old home alone?

Person_one

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

For what its worth, I was imagining 'dire emergency' to be along the lines of a neighbour banging on the door saying their husband's having a heart attack, or an older child calling home to say they've been mugged and had their bike stolen, or the dog getting out and heading towards a busy road.

The sort of thing where you have to react quick and that you just can't plan for.

Dunroamin

Yes, from choice

pigpen wrote: »

My mother, stepdad, 2 sisters, son, 2x dil's live within 5 minutes walk of my house.. about 20 seconds run for some of them.. they could be at my house before an ambulance and whatever their job was they would come if I needed them.. as proved when I rang the fire brigade and my stepdad arrived as they did.. I can see how the migration and dissolution of families provide lack of support. I am very glad to have my huge PITA family at times and being in my position it is hard to think of not having them available.. but I guess some people don't

But surely your family, like most people's are at work for most of the day?

mumps

Yes, from choice

Some years ago we had a new neighbour, we hadn't actually spoken properly just a smile and hello but they had a son similar age to one of mine, they were 9 or 10 at the time. Just after Christmas my son invited their son in to play with Christmas gifts, can't remember what he had. We asked about Christmas and I could have cried, his mom had lost her baby on Christmas Day, she had started to bleed and dad got her in the car. He spoke to son and had a choice, possibly sitting round hospital for hours or staying home. He decided to stay at home with his presents. His mom was kept in and his dad was there for some hours. They had no relatives near by and knew no one, obviously if I had known I would have had him in and given him Christmas dinner but I didn't know. Maybe the dad didn't make the right decision but it was a split second decision on a very difficult day, he didn't feel able to knock on a neighbours doors on Christmas day. Still makes me feel sad.

pigpen

Other please state.

Dunroamin wrote: »

But surely your family, like most people's are at work for most of the day?

yes, but if there was an emergency they would come. I know they would because they have. My mother came when my daughter knocked herself out at school and couldn't walk home, she came when the same daughter fell and smashed her face on the ground and we needed to go to the eye hospital. She came when my son was dx with diabetes 11 days after my daughter was born. My dad and grandmother had children overnight when I had DS3 at 30 weeks in a hospital 60 miles away.

Family first.. work second. You can find another job, you can't find another family.

pigpen

Other please state.

valk_scot wrote: »

I would say most folk don't have a family as big as yours living as close. I've got one sister, she lives in another city. No grandparents alive and my OH has no living siblings left either. Family support = zero in my case, and I bet my situation re family is more common than yours, especially when you factor in the proximity.

I've got friends that live locally though, and neighbours that though we're not close, would help out if they could. I've only got one friend who would walk out of her place of employment during the working day to help me in a crisis though and it really would have to be a crisis before I'd ask it of her. But again, not everyone is as lucky, some folk simply don't have helpful neighbours and it takes time to link into the local mothers network. If you don't have family or availible friends or neighbours, who do you ask for help in an emergency?

I wouldn't ask anyone.. I'd take the children with me or stay with them myself. Like when my childrens dad was knocked off his bike by a van.. he went to hospital.. I stayed at home with the children. I don't speak to any of my neighbours.. granted 90% of them probably don't speak English.

I guess I am one of the few who would not absolutely under any circumstances leave a 9 y/o alone.. if another child was rushed to hospital my daughter lives across the road from the hospital so I'd drop the others there or I'd take them and she would come get them. There really isn't a scenario where I would leave them.

And in true pyromaniac style.. my 12 y/o set fire to her cheese on toast today!!! I'm getting fire blankets attached to the ceiling on pulley cords!!

oooh.. my daughters friend just moved in up the street.. I could also add her to my list of emergency child sitters.. I've had hers before in an emergency.

poet123

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

Dunroamin wrote: »

But surely your family, like most people's are at work for most of the day?

Surely most workplaces are sympathetic to real family emergencies?

In the last few weeks I have had colleagues leave work because a son had an epileptic fit, and another had a son who had an accident at school, and another colleague who has a parent living with her who has dementia left when her parent wandered off. We sympathised and covered their classes.

poet123

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

pigpen wrote: »

I wouldn't ask anyone.. I'd take the children with me or stay with them myself. Like when my childrens dad was knocked off his bike by a van.. he went to hospital.. I stayed at home with the children. I don't speak to any of my neighbours.. granted 90% of them probably don't speak English.

I guess I am one of the few who would not absolutely under any circumstances leave a 9 y/o alone.. if another child was rushed to hospital my daughter lives across the road from the hospital so I'd drop the others there or I'd take them and she would come get them. There really isn't a scenario where I would leave them.

And in true pyromaniac style.. my 12 y/o set fire to her cheese on toast today!!! I'm getting fire blankets attached to the ceiling on pulley cords!!

oooh.. my daughters friend just moved in up the street.. I could also add her to my list of emergency child sitters.. I've had hers before in an emergency.

I think there are quite a few of us in this camp, but it is an individual decision as it isn't illegal.

Joons

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

I can't believe anyone would even consider for a second leaving a child of 9 home alone, sorry but that's just not right, even for five minutes, even if the wife loses her child, even if.......whatever it is, take the child with you at all times. Where's the option no no matter what the circumstances???

Dunroamin

Yes, from choice

poet123 wrote: »

Surely most workplaces are sympathetic to real family emergencies?

In the last few weeks I have had colleagues leave work because a son had an epileptic fit, and another had a son who had an accident at school, and another colleague who has a parent living with her who has dementia left when her parent wandered off. We sympathised and covered their classes.

But leaving a nine year old alone for a short time isn't really a family emergency, is it?

Certainly, when I was teaching, I wouldn't have expected to be allowed to walk out of a classroom because my sister (if I'd had one) couldn't leave her 9 year old for half an hour.

poet123

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

Dunroamin wrote: »

But leaving a nine year old alone for a short time isn't really a family emergency, is it?

Certainly, when I was teaching, I wouldn't have expected to be allowed to walk out of a classroom because my sister (if I'd had one) couldn't leave her 9 year old for half an hour.

I think the point was that if there was an emergency that was serious enough that the nine year old needed to be left alone then most workplaces would be sympathetic so long as it wasn't a regular occurrence.