Would you leave a nine year old home alone?

Shepherd1

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

No I wouldn't even consider leaving my 9 year old alone at all, and yes accidents can happen whoever is there but at least they won't face it alone.

I think some people especially on the last thread think that if you don't leave your child your are treating them as babies and never let them have independence. I never leave my daughter but she does play out with friends, the park is right next to my house and she can also cycle to my Mums house about 10 minutes away without crossing a road. The difference is she is with friends so if something happens one of them can get help and if she is going to my mums I can text my mum to tell her she is coming (without daughter knowing).

She also spends all day at the stables she takes riding lessons at, she takes a packed lunch and spends all day there with a group of girls ranging from 8-18. She can muck out, groom, feed and put the tack on the horses by herself but again there are people there if an accident should happen.

nearlyrich

Other please state.

No not ever even in a dire emergency would I leave a nine year old alone, I started to leave my now grown up children alone for increasing amounts of time aged about 11..with an easy access adult at first. I think 9 is too young to be responsible for themselves no matter how sensible they are in my opinion.

jellyhead

Person_one wrote: »

I do, yes. Or at least that the effects of an emergency would not be quite so traumatic.

I'd actually say secondary school age rather than just 11, as children do seem to have an 'emotional growth spurt' in the first term of secondary.

True. I remember a thread about secondary schools sending kids home in the snow without first notifying their parents. I was horrified at the thought, but after the first term at secondary school I got my son a house key - he seemed much older than he had at primary school and when school sent him home and I was at a toddler group with the baby he was fine letting himself in and sending me a text message.

His friend's mum was horrified though. One time he lost his key, and he went to her house instead. I was out with the baby and got home 20 minutes after he normally arrived him, but she thought I was neglecting him horribly by expecting him to cope in my house alone for 20 minutes after school.

loracan1

So...those saying they'd never ever leave a 9 year old on their own - is this including nipping to the papershop, you'd make them put their shoes on and drag them out for a 20metre walk so's not to leave them alone? Even if you can trust them to sprawl in front of the telly for those 4 minutes and not go burning the house down?

I can't remember when I started leaving mine on their own - there's a few years between them and I wouldn't have left the elder one with a 3 year old to look after and he'd have been 14/15 when the younger one turned 9 - I was perfectly happy to leave them for an hour or so at that point. Could happily leave them for several hours now (eldest is nearly 17)

mumps

Yes, from choice

loracan1 wrote: »

So...those saying they'd never ever leave a 9 year old on their own - is this including nipping to the papershop, you'd make them put their shoes on and drag them out for a 20metre walk so's not to leave them alone? Even if you can trust them to sprawl in front of the telly for those 4 minutes and not go burning the house down?

I can't remember when I started leaving mine on their own - there's a few years between them and I wouldn't have left the elder one with a 3 year old to look after and he'd have been 14/15 when the younger one turned 9 - I was perfectly happy to leave them for an hour or so at that point. Could happily leave them for several hours now (eldest is nearly 17)

I wonder if they take them out in the garden with them when they are cutting the grass? Just think what could happen while mum is in the garden for half an hour, there could be bodies all over the house.

lemontart

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

https://www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

Nope never. When there has been an emergency I took her with me

mumps

Yes, from choice

Toto wrote: »

There are many ways to instil confidence in a child, supporting them to achieve things for themselves is the way we tend to go about it. I don't necessarily think that abandoning them leads to a feeling of confidence. A sense of survival maybe.

If you view a mother popping to the shops for half an hour as abandoning their child I think you need to get out more.

mumps

Yes, from choice

poet123 wrote: »

I only have boys, so I didn't have many issues with hormones aside from a bit of sulking!



Yes, confidence too, although sometimes it is a fine line between confidence and arrogance! I work with teens, many of who seem to have parents who have instilled into them the belief that they are better than everyone else at everything (all without evidence!)and that is when confidence can be misplaced. It is hard getting it right isn't it?

My boys seemed to be affected by testosterone, I agree it can manifest itself differently to female hormones but I think most teenage boys experience changes due to hormones (testosterone.)

I don't agree with making people think they are better than others, it isn't a competition I believe they can all achieve.

Person_one

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

mumps wrote: »

If you view a mother popping to the shops for half an hour as abandoning their child I think you need to get out more.

Well, nearly everybody would call it that if the child was 18 months old. Most if the child was 5 or 6.

We all agree that there's a line to be drawn, the disagreement seems to be about what age the line is drawn at.

Toto

No, not unless it was a dire emergency

loracan1 wrote: »

So...those saying they'd never ever leave a 9 year old on their own - is this including nipping to the papershop, you'd make them put their shoes on and drag them out for a 20metre walk so's not to leave them alone? Even if you can trust them to sprawl in front of the telly for those 4 minutes and not go burning the house down?

I can't remember when I started leaving mine on their own - there's a few years between them and I wouldn't have left the elder one with a 3 year old to look after and he'd have been 14/15 when the younger one turned 9 - I was perfectly happy to leave them for an hour or so at that point. Could happily leave them for several hours now (eldest is nearly 17)

No, I wouldn't leave a 9 year old on their own, I just wouldn't. Can't say it any plainer really. There is no paper shop local to me so it would mean a whole lot longer, but whatever, I would make them get their shoes on and come with me. I tend to try and get them to do stuff anyway, my kids rarely lounge around in front of the telly and are pretty keen to get involved in whatever else is going on. I've never had to drag them anywhere, they are usually the first with their coats on.