Why do teenagers shout?

onlyroz

My daughter has two settings: shouting and asleep. But she's only four. I would hope that she grows out of it by her teens...

peachyprice

Why do teenagers shout?
Teenagers don't shout, your 14yo niece does. As for why, maybe because she's an obnoxious bully?

marisco_2

Children learn what they live. What is the atmosphere like in her home? Are raised voices, aggression and no examples of good behaviour the norm to your niece?

Happy, balanced teenagers are naturally lively, vibrant and loud. However not in the ways that your describe of your niece. It could be that she displays similar traits at school. Very few young people of her age can switch off their natural personalities. A good school would question what is going on and look into referring a pupil for appropriate support. I hope this will be the case for your niece OP. I think her behaviour today was actually a young lady crying out for help.

Tiglath

thunderbird wrote: »

Sorry, I don't mean to pry, I haven't read your other posts on this.

If you all live together then do you not have this all the time?

We don't live together - they all live in 2 houses in adjacent streets a fair way away.

xbrenx

Tiglath wrote: »

My sister's been on medication for 30+ years, and the niece is seeing a counsellor. Not sure how effective any of it is really, but there you go. What was supposed to be a nice family lunch turned into a big argument (I won't agree to sell my house and DH and I live communally with them all including Mum), so now I'm just taking a backseat.

Tiglath wrote: »

We don't live together - they all live in 2 houses in adjacent streets a fair way away.

Sorry to hear your day didn't go as planned. However, your posts are too confusing, I don't know if it's me not understanding or you changing your mind.

Tiglath

Sorry - I didn't word that properly. DH and I have our own home an hour or so from the rest of the family, Mum has hers, and my sister actually has 2 properties (one of which she lives in with her 2 daughters, and the other which she's currently selling). Her bright idea today was that we sell all of the properties and buy one big place so we can all live together, and I can't imagine anything worse, so whatever they decide it won't involve DH and me. The niece doesn't want to live with her Nan, but when my sister's in one of the bad phases of her bi-polar, she just wants to go back to Mum. I've told them I think it won't work out - it's not fair on the niece as much as anything else. Hence the niece shouting at her Mum, and DH getting a strop because of the noise and tantrums. Probably a day best forgotten really

meer53

It's not normal for teenagers to shout. Most teenagers find it hard to communicate at all, except by grunting occasionally in response to questions asked.

There's obviously something wrong with this one.

Bob_the_Saver

Teenagers do lots of obnoxious things because nobody stops them, full stop.

(Parent and ex-teacher)

sparrer

Tiglath wrote: »

. The niece doesn't want to live with her Nan,

More importantly would Nan want to live with niece, and the rest of the family with all their problems. If she's anything like me it's lovely to see them but I'd dread the though of living with my children or grandchildren! I could foresee a lot of drawbacks and problems ahead

but when my sister's in one of the bad phases of her bi-polar, she just wants to go back to Mum. I've told them I think it won't work out - it's not fair on the niece as much as anything else. Hence the niece shouting at her Mum, and DH getting a strop because of the noise and tantrums. Probably a day best forgotten really

I agree with others, shouting isn't the norm for a teenager, a grunt or shrug is more commonplace but as niece has problems it's obviously her way of communicating when she needs attention.

Stick by your guns, you'd possibly lose a lot of money and a home if it didn't work out. I'm sure this idea will soon blow over - and something else take its place

Tiglath

Well there's this whole co-dependency thing going on with the 3 generations there; it was the same with Mum's Mum living with us in her latter years. 3 generations of women would argue, and Dad and I would escape to his garage to get some peace. I think they're all just weird, much as I love them, and I escaped in my teens as soon as I could.

Mum would like company at home, but she stayed at my sister's for a year until this January just gone, and the friction between her and my niece was horrendous. I frequently had them all on the phone to me at work in tears, and I used most of my annual leave going over there and trying to be peacemaker, hence why I'm sick of it now, because I had 2 big hospital things last year and could barely cope as it was. Mum would come to us every other weekend and would sob at the bullying, but it seems to have been 6 of one and half a dozen of the other, and I ended up being manipulated left right and centre. Eventually my sister told Mum she had to go home to protect the niece's sanity because she was in trouble at school over her behaviour, and I'm glad to say Mum is happy at home now.

I suspect the idea's not really feasible anyway. Mum did an equity release scheme a few years ago, and my sister's got it into her head that she wants to 'save the family home.' I don't want anything to do with it - I never thought I'd inherit anything there anyway as currently Mum's will specifies most of what's left is to go to the eldest niece anyway, so it's no skin off my nose in a financial sense, and I'm just glad Mum was able to do the equity release so she could finally retire - she was working well into her 70s for financial reasons.

I did point out that if my sister pays off the equity release scheme and Mum somehow transfers the house into her name, there's the implication of 'deprivation of assets' if Mum needs to go into care.

My sister also said to me privately in the garden that if it went into trust to her 2 daughters (to protect the house from my sister's non-resident husband - that's a whole other story), she wouldn't trust her eldest daughter not to turf her out into the streets anyway. I don't know how true that is - I've learned to take everything they all say with a pinch of salt. I think common sense will prevail and it will all come to nothing, but she gets these crazy ideas into her head from time to time and just blurts them out.

Families eh? I keep my distance most of the time - they're too toxic for me to get dragged into the drama of it all, having been burned that way last year.