Why do teenagers shout?

Tiglath

Just had the family round, and my 14 year old niece can only communicate by shouting and bullying and being obnoxious. I don't remember being like that at that age. Even my supernaturally patient DH has had enough this afternoon. Fortunately they've all gone now. Is it just hormones or what?

midnightraven3

no, its not
if she is " shouting and bullying and being obnoxious" she is obviously allowed to be
we have 3 teens
i REALLY couldnt have done with that
not painting them as angels
but why put up with that?
what did her parents say?

splishsplash

Tiglath wrote: »

Just had the family round, and my 14 year old niece can only communicate by shouting and bullying and being obnoxious. I don't remember being like that at that age. Even my supernaturally patient DH has had enough this afternoon. Fortunately they've all gone now. Is it just hormones or what?

That's not the norm by a long chalk. My house is full of teens from 14 or 15 to 19 and now 20 year olds also, and while they can be preternaturally loud, it's always the height of hilarity and screeching laughter rather than obnoxious bullying and bad temper.

Tiglath

Her Mum went to bed - not well at the moment. Her Dad hasn't been around for years. I managed to have a word with my sister in private, who says her daughter even bullies her. Ongoing saga - I won't rehash all the details of the past couple of years, but the girl has problems. She's currently got it into her head that she wants to leave home as soon as possible and live with her little sister's childminder round the corner (who to be fair has been more a Mum to her than my bi-polar sister has). Anyway, this was more of a whinge on my part about the sheer volume of noise than an angsty solve-this-problem thing Families eh? DH and I are really quiet people and it brought back memories of growing up in a noisy argumentative household. I deliberately only see them every few months now - it's all I can cope with.

thunderbird

It appears that it isn't hormones then - but some deeper problem.
Do you not feel any desire to help them?

lostinrates

With the greater perspective given it sounds like this teenager shouts to be heard and to get a reaction some interest, because she feels powerless and unattended to in other ways.

sexylulubelle

Maybe she was having a particalarly bad day today? But saying that I wouldnt have been allowed to raise my voice at my mother or any other family member nevermind contemplating shouting at them, she would have me over her knee so fast I would not have time to react...... teenager or not lol, might sound harsh but thats the truth & whats more did me the world of good too, I cant bear kids (let alone teenagers) shouting and throwing their weight around like they own the place....... Respect your elders I live by that rule...... and believe me I'm not that old:).......!

Tiglath

I've been trying to help them for years, and I'm exhausted now; there's something in the female line of my adopted family that makes them unstable and histrionic. One of my earliest threads went into all the details then, so I'm not going to go into it all again now.

thunderbird

Tiglath wrote: »

I've been trying to help them for years, and I'm exhausted now; there's something in the female line of my adopted family that makes them unstable and histrionic. One of my earliest threads went into all the details then, so I'm not going to go into it all again now.

Fair enough. Shame they cannot get the help they need though if suffering from mental health problems.

Tiglath

My sister's been on medication for 30+ years, and the niece is seeing a counsellor. Not sure how effective any of it is really, but there you go. What was supposed to be a nice family lunch turned into a big argument (I won't agree to sell my house and DH and I live communally with them all including Mum), so now I'm just taking a backseat.

thunderbird

Sorry, I don't mean to pry, I haven't read your other posts on this.

If you all live together then do you not have this all the time?