leaving children on their own?

poet123

zagfles wrote: »

I think one of the problems with stiplating an age in law is that some people would then think it's OK to leave any child over 12 alone, because the law says so. Some 12 year olds aren't mature enough to be left alone, some 9 year olds are. I doubt this has any chance of happening.

What the NSPCC say is quite sensible http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/for-parents-and-carers/parenting-advice/home-alone/home-alone_wda90761.html

This what the RSPCC actually say in their leaflet from the link you gave:
Remember
•

If your child is under the

age of 12
they may not be
mature enough to cope with
an emergency. If you do need
to leave them, ensure it is only
for a short time. Make sure
the obvious dangers such as
medicines, matches and sharp
objects are out of reach.

zagfles

poet123 wrote: »

This what the RSPCC actually say in their leaflet from the link you gave:
Remember
•

If your child is under the

age of 12
they may not be
mature enough to cope with
an emergency. If you do need to leave them, ensure it is only
for a short time. Make sure
the obvious dangers such as
medicines, matches and sharp
objects are out of reach.

Exactly. Like I said, it's sensible advice. Note the use of the word "may", not "will", and the advice for if you do need to leave them. Rather that the blanket "don't do it" which some people seem to be advocating.

Lozzy88

Haven't really read the thread but as a child who was left alone a lot from being very young I just want to say how very sad and lonely it made me feel and I had 6 brothers and sister in and out all the time "checking on me"

I just think if you don't NEED to leave your child then please don't do it and if you do need to leave them alone please make it be for the shortest possible time.

poet123

zagfles wrote: »

Exactly. Like I said, it's sensible advice. Note the use of the word "may", not "will", and the advice for if you do need to leave them. Rather that the blanket "don't do it" which some people seem to be advocating.

Well, it is clearly not considered desirable and it has the "ensure it is only for a short time" caveat.

barbarawright

lozzy88 wrote: »

Haven't really read the thread but as a child who was left alone a lot from being very young I just want to say how very sad and lonely it made me feel and I had 6 brothers and sister in and out all the time "checking on me"

I just think if you don't NEED to leave your child then please don't do it and if you do need to leave them alone please make it be for the shortest possible time.

Me to from 8 or 9 but I loved it. Though it has to be said, I did do a lot of rummaging in places I probably shouldn't have done :rotfl:

zagfles

lozzy88 wrote: »

Haven't really read the thread but as a child who was left alone a lot from being very young I just want to say how very sad and lonely it made me feel and I had 6 brothers and sister in and out all the time "checking on me"

Yes this is an important point - safety isn't the only issue, I would never leave my child alone unless they were happy with it, as well as being mature enough.

moomoomama27

emma.cook3 wrote: »

From a a child protection point of view at work, if one of the children of that age told me they had been left alone in the house, i would have to write it up as a child protection issue.

I agree, and I have written child protection reports based on the age alone!

Abbafan1972

Interesting thread. We have been debating this recently as our oldest is 11, she's not mature enough to stay at home alone for long periods of time, but we just started to break to her in, like for instance a quick visit Asda or the Post Office for instance (would be gone about 20-30 mins max. She has been fine and is usually just watching TV, she knows not to answer the phone or door etc and not to touch anything.

I was left home alone from about the age of 11 during the school holidays as both my Parents worked full time. Also when I got home from school I would be along for about 1.5 hours until my Parents got home from work, I was responsible enough to have a key to let myself in and lock up in the morning.

sooty&sweep

So much depends upon the individual child.
My son is 12 & since he started secondary school last September he comes home on the bus by himself & had the opportunity to be on his own for approx 2 hours 4 nights a week but 2 of those nights he chooses to do judo at the local sports centre.
I was home early one of the days he'd normally be alone 4 a while & when he realised that I was home the bottom lip quivered & he complained that I was interrupting his me time ! I.e. he rather liked being on his own for a while to watch TV & play on the Xbox.

My daughter is totally different & no where near as sensible so I'm not sure I'd be willing to allow her to be on her own.

It depends on the child & the situation. We also have good neighbours that would help my son if he needed it.

Jen

Tupperware_Queen

my ES I happily have left at 9 or 10 for short periods(less than an hour), whereas I have only just started to do this with my YS who is nearly 12.

During the 50 minutes I was out the other day I had 3 phone calls and about 5-6 texts from him ( am allowed to have a can of pop, packet of crisps, how long are you going to be. where is the control for the wii etc etc) despite having left quite clear instructions as to what he could or could not have, and leaving a big note next to the clock saying what time I would be back by. When I got back we had a chat, and the upshot is that he mainly just wanted to know he could get hold of me if he needed to, and actually didn't need the answers to any of his questions!

My options are never to leave him again, and therefore he will never gain any confidence or to continue to leave him for short periods, with clear instructions and 'debrief' after my return, so that he builds his confidence over time.

As someone else has said, he is now getting to the age where he doesn't want to come with me on every errand, and he would prefer to stay at home and veg out in front of the TV, hopefully by doing this, should I ever NEED to leave him for a longer period he will be happy to do this, and not suffer any ill effects.