My Gran

Blade26

Mojisola wrote: »

If money is an issue with her and she is your father's step-daughter, has she got in mind that she will make sure she gets her "inheritance" now. If your Dad doesn't have a will, she won't inherit anything from him as she isn't a blood relation.

It would be worth seeing if your Gran would consider setting up a Power of Attorney in case she ever does need someone to speak for her. Otherwise, this tends to default to the nearest relative and it doesn't sound as if you trust your sister.

Thanks for raising these points, Dad does have a will which he updated when my Mum died as did my Gran, in both my sister is provided for although my Gran's apparently favour myself and my sister as the blood relatives - this is according to my step-sister

I believe that my Dad has POA, but I will ask him and double check this point. Gran said did I want to have access to her accounts online (didn't know she knew about this!) so I can keep an eye on things, I have said no as (1) I trust her and don't think she needs checking up on and (2) if I was to do this I would only do so with something in place to protect myself from any accusations from family.

NAR

Blade26 wrote: »

Thanks

It's almost as thought she won't be satisfied unless there is something wrong, which is just terrible, why would you wish ill on someone particularly someone who we all love so much

I know what you are saying, I can't understand her attitude either. :mad:

I am thankful that the GP has been so good as he has said that if once she has been to the memory clinic if my sister does not accept the findings (presuming them to be positive and there is nothing wrong) that she is welcome to go and see him herself - presume to hear it from him rather than him thinking there is something wrong with her (sister)

I'm sure that is quite reassuring for you. He sounds a great GP.

Mojisola

Blade26 wrote: »

It's almost as thought she won't be satisfied unless there is something wrong, which is just terrible, why would you wish ill on someone particularly someone who we all love so much

Unless she sees it as an opportunity - if Gran can be declared incapable, then she can take over?

Blade26

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless she sees it as an opportunity - if Gran can be declared incapable, then she can take over?

You might be closer to the truth than I care to admit

monkeyspanner

If you are concerned about motives. When things settle down it might be a good idea to suggest to your Dad that a power of attorney is discussed with your grandmother. This would allow your grandmother to choose someone she considers trustworthy to look after her financial and healthcare issues if she does become ill.

margaretclare

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless she sees it as an opportunity - if Gran can be declared incapable, then she can take over?

My thoughts exactly. Nasty and suspicious, aren't I - well, I've lived a long time in this wicked world and every time I think I've seen it all, I find that I haven't.

I recall a woman solicitor saying to me 'You only have to sit in this chair at this desk for a couple of hours and you see the very worst of human nature'. As the old saying goes: 'Where there's a will, there's relations'.

I cannot, cannot, comprehend why someone would want 'the worst' to happen to a lady who appears to be managing her life and her affairs quite competently. It's not something I would wish on my worst enemy, but yet, as others have suggested, sis may see it as a way to get in there and assume command.

God bless that GP!

Errata

Mojisola wrote: »

Unless she sees it as an opportunity - if Gran can be declared incapable, then she can take over?

If gran is declared incapable then, if necessary, the office of the public guardian will appoint a guardian which won't automatically be the GD.

Mojisola

Errata wrote: »

If gran is declared incapable then, if necessary, the office of the public guardian will appoint a guardian which won't automatically be the GD.

If Gran would decide now who she would like to look after her affairs if she ever needs help and set up the paperwork, it would be a lot easier than having to go through the OPG.

Savvy_Sue

Mojisola wrote: »

If Gran would decide now who she would like to look after her affairs if she ever needs help and set up the paperwork, it would be a lot easier than having to go through the OPG.

This is what I'd suggest too, that Gran should do both financial & property and health & welfare. If she doesn't want the local gd involved, she can set them up so that she isn't involved.

If she already has done a PofA, it may be one of the 'old' kind, which were only for finance, so that's also worth checking.

cheap_charlie

Sorry that your family are being put through this.

Just to reassure you a little my mother has been going to the Memory Clinic for a few years now. She first went because she was very muddled but it turned out this was caused by the huge doses of steroids she was prescribed for a condition called giant cell temporal arthritis.

She has been given a clean bill of health since then - yes her short term memory isn't brilliant but the experts at the Memory Clinic expect this in older people and don't base a diagnosis of dementia on a little bit of forgetfulness.

Perhaps the sister - who I am assuming isn't a medic - needs to have this pointed out to her.