How would you feel

miss_independent

If he'd made out that I was repulsive, I'd be pretty hurt tbh. I'm not sure that I'd stop speaking to him just because he didn't find me physically attractive as, at the end of the day, as a strictly platonic friend that would be more of a help than a hinderance! I'd have told him I saw what he did and found it extremely immature and quite cruel to make fun of the way someone looks. Then I'd get over it and see maybe he isn't a true friend after all.

podperson

Tbh, I think you may be over-reacting a bit. I have a lot of male friends, I don't see them in any other way than as friends. If someone was teasing me about it being otherwise then I would probably laugh/make a joke/roll my eyes etc - it wouldn't mean I hated the guy or found them unattractive, it just means I find the idea a bit ridiculous. If the situation was reversed I think they would probably act in a similar way and it wouldn't offend me - it certainly wouldn't make me stop being friends with someone I'd known for years.

I'm not sure what you were expecting him to do. He was at a funeral, probably upset, maybe a bit embarassed at being teased and not sure what to say - it was probably easier for him to just laugh it off rather than getting into a debate on the issue. As others have said, if you've known him for years and considered him a friend then I don't know why you just can't tell him that it upset you - he'll probably be mortified that you took it that way.

Hanwood01

DannyBo wrote: »

I'd be spitting feathers!

It all depends on whether they semi-knew you would/could see them.



I have wondered if he somehow wanted me to see what he was doing.

Hanwood01

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd be more concerned about people teasing someone who is a friend at a funeral, TBH.

I thought it was very disrespectful to be honest.

Hanwood01

Funky_Bold_Ribena wrote: »

If he pulled a 'I wouldn't go there' face, he either really likes you or he wouldn't go there. Unless you are wanting to get jiggy with him, does it matter?

No, I'm definitely NOT wanting to get jiggy with him.

Hanwood01

snozberry wrote: »

On the inside, I would be hurt and, being completely honest, cross

but ...

On the outside, I would look them in the eye and ask them if they are feeling ok. When told that they are I would ask them if they are sure because I saw their face spasm.

I was tempted to ask him if he had ever been dropped on his head,

Hanwood01

marisco wrote: »

I think it would be justified for you to feel let down by your friends actions under the circumstances. He was sat chatting to you after you had attended a funeral, normally an emotional event. So most likely you probably needed his support and a listening ear.

Immature individuals inadvisedly decided this was a good moment to tease him. It doesn't say much about him, or how he values you as a friend, that he chose to respond to this by making a face at you.

It really depends on how you now feel about him. Do you want to discuss this with him, let him know how much what he did hurt you and resolve things? To be honest I would find someone like him a bit lacking in character to want him to be a close friend of mine.

Sorry your feelings were hurt OP.

Thank you Marisco, I no longer class him as a friend, he has hurt me again since this incident.

Hanwood01

mrcow wrote: »

I think what your friend did was hurtful.

If someone was teasing me about being with a friend (whether I fancied them or not) I'd probably announce loudly that they were out of my league and give them a hug, not make stupid faces about it. Because that's what you do with friends. You stick by them and care about their feelings.

I'm not surprised you're upset. The eczema is obviously a hang up for you, and you're linking it because of it. But really, it just sounds like your "friend" is a bit of an idiot.

Thank you Mrcow, my eczema is a big hang up for me. It's hard to ignore when people stare at you, make fun, pull faces, ask you "what happened to your face" etc. :mad:

Oh the joys :):)

Hanwood01

sassyblue wrote: »

Thank you for giving us the details. What sort of face did he pull, a 'don't go there ' face as someone suggested or just rolled his eyes or something?

Are you sure you didn't misunderstand his reaction was one of 'oh don't be silly' to shut the teasing people up for being childish?

I guess not if you're hurt.

Sassy, the first time it was a "oh don't be silly" kind of face, however when teased some more it was a "No way, I won't go there" face

Hanwood01

C_Mababejive wrote: »

If i thought it was malicious or intended to ridicule me in front of others, i;d ask them !!!!!! they were doing?

C_Mababejive, we were sitting in a group of 8 when he pulled the face, the intention was to ridicule me, as the woman doing the teasing walked away laughing.:mad: