How much weight do you give to sayings?

Danni-R

So, I try and be kind to every one (what goes around comes around), I try and avoid walking under ladders etc but where do you draw the line?

Short version.
My complicated ex is moving away and wants me to ask her to stay (which I wouldnt do).

If you love something, let it go, if it comes back its yours forever, if it doesnt it wasnt yours in the first place.

so, what is it?

If she loved me she'd stay (in theory) . She knows I love her still (my fault I know) and I've said that I dont think she should go so she's aware of that.

I dont want her to go but I would never ask her to stay.

Someone please tell me what to do!

balletshoes

I give no weight at all to sayings.
if you,ve told your ex how you feel already then thats all you should do. she is your ex.

podperson

I agree with balletshoes, I give no weight at all to sayings. I'm not going to live my life based on old rhymes and trite sayings. You've told your ex that you love her and don't want her to go - it sounds like she's playing silly games and wanting you to beg her not to leave. I don't know if things like that are why you broke up in the first place? She sounds rather immature, she should be able to make her own mind up but instead it sounds like she's wanting someone to decide things for her - and then she also conveniently has someone to blame if it doesn't work out.
Personally I would stay well clear.

Danni-R

And thats part of the reason I dont want to ask her to stay. I think in the first big argument we have she'd happily say its all my fault she's still stuck round here.

Aside from me not wanting her to go she doesnt have a job/ friends that she can trust/ family where she's going.

I just dont beleive that I (or anyone really) should ever ask someone not to go or not to do something.

heartbreak_star

Danni-R wrote: »

My complicated ex is moving away and wants me to ask her to stay

Her problem, not yours.

I have no time for superstition, sayings, etc. If she's that complicated - you might be better off without her?

HBS x

Danni-R

Its true. I probably am.

Even just as a friend I think she's making a mistake. And I'm annoyed at the people that have apparently said its a great idea.

No job in the new location. No family. And the friends that she's moving to live with are benefiting in some way or another from her going.

Emotions Suck.

heartbreak_star

She's made her own bed, let her lie in it.

You can't always be there to save her. If there's a major problem, she'll come back I know I'm harsh, but you sound really nice - don't let people drag you down.

HBS x

podperson

Danni-R wrote: »

Its true. I probably am.

Even just as a friend I think she's making a mistake. And I'm annoyed at the people that have apparently said its a great idea.

No job in the new location. No family. And the friends that she's moving to live with are benefiting in some way or another from her going.

Emotions Suck.

You've given her your advice and your opinion. If she's choosing to not listen to it then sadly that's her problem and if it comes back on her it will be her fault - which hard as it may be to watch from the outside is as it should be, we make our own decisions and our own mistakes.

Amanda65

So she knows you love her but is still going away? The decision has to be hers. If she loves you and wants to stay, then she should - not play silly games and try and maker her indecision someone's elses decision!

Ladyhawk

As others have said none whatsoever unless the support my argument at the time

rpc

She's playing mind games.

She would stay if you asked her to? She's either looking for an excuse not to go (but which she can bash you over the head with the next time she is unhappy) or she is checking to see if you are a bona fide doormat that will do her bidding.

Her life, her choice. You can let her know how you feel, but make absolutely sure she makes the choice herself.