Please help

peanutpiper

Kells - I was going to put little one who is 18 months into preschool and start working in Summer - but fell pregnant!!

Shopping is never a problem cos we just write cheques... I know its not ideal but at least the kids won't starve!! :mad: - again I would never do this if OH was just a puppet!! I would sort everything out!!

Its just one vicious circel! I feel so bad as my children deserve better! my friends have nice houses, lovely toys for their kids (I.E trampolines etc...), not bothered about that too much really as my children are soooo lovely and never ask for things!!

My tv blew up so we are watching on a portable cos we can't afford a better tv!! My sofas are disgusting and falling apart! I am so embarassed about my house that I have no one round!!

peanutpiper

He reckons he doesn't have a problem as he is only gambling £10 or so! He puts £1 or 50p on a bet! he says he can go in the bookies and not put money on as he likes the sport!

I would not be better off financially or emotionally! Certainly not right now!! I am not strong enough!

brainfreeze

KellsBells is right....show your OH this thread if you can.

He will read and, hopefully, take note of how desperate you are feeling.

KellsBells

peanutpiper wrote: »

my friends have nice houses, lovely toys for their kids (I.E trampolines etc...), not bothered about that too much really as my children are soooo lovely and never ask for things!!

My tv blew up so we are watching on a portable cos we can't afford a better tv!! My sofas are disgusting and falling apart! I am so embarassed about my house that I have no one round!!

Oh mate,

I can totally relate here - I never have visitors round to my house, and if people turn up unannounced they have to wait in the front room while I straighten up the bathroom, shut the bedroom doors, put dog in utility room etc etc!! It soon puts them off not giving me any notice!

My kids understand that if we haven't got enough pennies we can't have what they want - problem is, we never have enough pennies!Like yours though, they never ask for much, and are satisfied with what they do get.

peanutpiper

He would go mental if I showed him this!! I changed the pin number on my bank card as he would just steal it and take money out! He has taken all the money out of the childrens money boxes and regularly steals from my purse!! I can't hide money as he just finds it! - I think this is just for car parks etc

I think it is a good thing the other day! I gave him £20 (I took back a maternity top) as he needed money for car parking, I asked him at the end of the day how much he had and he said £14, I said please can I have it so you don't gamble it away as you need it on Monday (This was Saturday) and he gave it to me! no hassle! I just really don't get it?!

lotties_mum

One idea may be to contact gamblers anonymous yourself to see if they can give you any advice for your OH, the phone number is 08700 50 88 80. The most important thing though at the moment is you're wellbeing and if you don't have a very good midwife, then perhaps have a chat with you're GP.

brainfreeze

Hi Peanutpiper

When you have a moment, work out your SOA and post it back here. You will get lots more excellent advice when people can see what you have coming in and going out.

When I first did mine I was horrified by the total we owed, but it was the biggest relief to finally admit it and seeing it written down has made me and my OH finally work together to bring it down. He was so shocked at the high level of debt we were in (see my signature!). We've only been working at this for a short time, but we now have a shared goal to clear the debt and it's actually bought us closer together.

I don't know if this will be the effect on your OH, but seeing the income and outgoings and debts listed may be a wake up call for him.

peanutpiper

The first thing I am going to do is open a basic bank account and get that sorted! I have to go as he is getting up!! I will check back later and see what more I can do!! Thank you all sooooo much!! xxxxxxxxx

brainfreeze

KellsBells wrote: »

Oh mate,

I can totally relate here - I never have visitors round to my house, and if people turn up unannounced they have to wait in the front room while I straighten up the bathroom, shut the bedroom doors, put dog in utility room etc etc!! It soon puts them off not giving me any notice!

My kids understand that if we haven't got enough pennies we can't have what they want - problem is, we never have enough pennies!Like yours though, they never ask for much, and are satisfied with what they do get.

KellsBells you have a home...not a show house. When I was growing up my mum had a notice on the front door....

Come in, sit down,
Relax, converse......
Our house isn't always like this....
Usually it's much worse!

Her philosophy was that it might be untidy, but it was clean and children grow up healthier and happier in a loving home and she always felt people with 'show homes' spent too much time on their home and keeping the children in order than playing with and spending time with the children. It's the love in a home that matters...not material possessions.

In other words Kells and peanut....your homes are perfect! (just like mine then:rotfl: )

Dumyat

what a mess peanutpiper. folks round here will point you in the right direction but until you can get OH on board you are going to be struggling. even if it is only small bets here and there its bets you cant afford now.