False impressions

SuSu1871

It is frustrating when you see people getting themselves further in to debt, and for what? To say they've got the latest this/that? But, while they're still in denial there are the saintly MSErs who chip away chip away and whilst ending up with, technically, nothing to show for it, we're so much better off. I know which camp I'd rather be in!

As long as you don't let Mrs Friend's behaviour undermind yours, you'll come out triumphant. Just try not to get pressured into slipping up.

(sorry if this sounds patronising, but I'm a natural worrier!)

1_step_closer

Bless you Susu! Don't you worry, no way am I going to slip up. When I first knew Mrs Friend I used to be in awe of her...........but not now. I look at her things she leaves lying around that are damaged/broken and think what a waste. Some people will never change and I don't think she ever will. I don't need expensive make up/new clothes etc etc to make me who I am. I don't need to shout to make myself heard and even though a treat for me is a small bar of chocolate I probably appreciate things more!

kiwigirl

One of my old bosses was on a salary of approx 65k, and was in debt of over 50k - he used to do his spreadsheets and save them onto the computer network where anyone could see :eek: He's barely manage to pay the minimum payments on the cards.

The other boss was on more money and spent more than my salary flying his daughter to see him on his custody weekends :eek: he was too skint to buy himself the motorbike he wanted....

sammy115

You should all read the book -the millionaire next door. The book is based on a study of wealthy americans and how they got their wealth. It basically states that the people who look wealthy are generally not the wealthy people. Its the ones driving the old cars, with smartprice food in the cupboards.

I drive a cinquecento and I know my hubby and my kids get embarrassed, but I don't give a hoot. Someone at work asked me if I had the choice what car would I choose, and I chose my old cinquecento!! I love it, its like driving a noddy car and so much fun to drive!

iwilldoitthistime

Sammy115 - so true!

I have friends who live in a 5 bed detached new home (which they have now sold to get a 7 bed!), both drive new BMWs, have at least 3 holidays abroad a year and own loads of rental property. They appear to be loaded to the outside world, but their cupboards are bare - they also have close to £50k on credit cards and buy everything on them whenever we go out. They even ask us for our cash, and put our bill on the card too! All so they look the part!

Id rather stick with my little runabout, small home and holidays in the UK. I couldnt sleep if I was them! At least i know my debt will be paid off at some point soon (maybe not that soon though!!)

Lucifer

Iwilldoitthistime,

Cor they sound just like my friends, we go out to dinner. I get out the cash and they take the cash and charge it all to their credit cards. She never has any cash in her purse at all, only a wodge of cards. I know the cash flow is bad though and I have seen the card refused before pay day. I would have died of embarrassment - but no she just asked me to pay and said she would write a cheque - oh but please don't pay it in until after the weekend. They earn £65K plus and a card transaction for about £40 was refused!!!

I have told her Martin and this site was my god - but was just laughed at. I only ever pay cash now, but I do keep my debit card in my purse as I have a £250 overdraft facility (which I do not need to use with my budget), because I know that if the bill came to more than I had in cash - then i have the facility to pay for it.

bouquiniste

Your "friends" aren't my brother and his wife are they? Bro claims "I'm the most loaded person he knows" (sic) - which is interesting given he hasn't a clue what I earn, and even more interesting that it is, according to parents, the same as his wife...

It doesn't worry me any more as he’s been a git to me for over 15 years - basic jealousy as being the kid sister I was supposed to eff it all up as badly as he did, but didn't. Someone is doing a roaring trade in blinkers reading this thread - they don't see my ‘98 baby car, never see me in new clothes, never see me splurge... but always see I have enough to cover bills, presents and things that I have prioritised as being important. Now why might that be I wonder...

Bottom line is - he wants to be a miserable git? Fine. He gets his kicks from treating me like camel droppings? Fine too. Ditto your friends. Who is suffering from this?

Clue: ain't us.

1_step_closer

I think hubby realised how I felt as he said late last night "let's not bother again". yay!

We are sharing a kebab for tea as I have a meeting to go to I cannot get out of and refuse to cook.

SarahNeedle1872

Isn't it funny how attitudes towards people can change so quickly...
We always wanted to be the people with the best tv in our gang, and if someone had a swish car, or a gorgeous house, I was always so jealous. I never used to think twice about anything when I bought it (it's ok, it's on the credit card, I'll pay it off on payday!)
But since my LBM and finding this site, everytime I see someone I know with a nice car/posh furniture etc, I don't feel jealous at all, I look at them and think 'I wonder how much debt they have?'
There are still so many people out there that fall into the consolidation trap, as I did, and I feel sorry for them now, because for some of them it'll take a financial disaster before they cahnge their way.
I wouldn't say I'm proud of my debt, but I am proud of the fact that we are dealing with it, and I am proud of how far we've come in a short time. Even my OH looks at things differently now, and he is a hard nut to crack (N.B - Martin, ask Tasha how stubborn her brother is!!!)
This site is a haven for many of us, and provides so much support and encouragement... I love it!

christabell

Is not GREED one of the 7 deadly sins?

I was born with a mouth and an attitude. I truely believe that when somebody else is putting a roof over my head and food into my cupboard they can tell me what to do. It's all about choices. We on this board, have made a choice, in my view a positive choice. The nay sayers are unable to do anything about their choice to be in debt except bleat like a sheep.
I don't have a car
I don't have a TV
My flat needs new carpet and decorated.....it's the same as when I moved in 7 years ago. I am on IS,IB and DLA due to chronic illness ( I am in my 4th year of CFS/ME) Before I became ill, I have been there and done that twice in two different career's. Today I choose to look at my glass as HALF FULL
I HAVE a fabulous flat, I HAVE food in my cupboards and freezer and I HAVE choices. Sometimes these negatives "friends" just have to be let go off.
God Bless them. I march to the sound of a different drum.............