what to do?

notnew

using a different profile for this...

What would you do if you happened to see a message your (young teen) child had sent to a friend saying that they were worried that their dad was cheating on their mum (ie you) and they don't want their mum to find out?

joeblack066

If you've no other reason to suspect your OH put it down to the modern habit of teens for having to dramatise their lives. I had a similar experience yesterday, and tho am still left saddened by what I read, this is what I've put it down to.

Bangton

I used to think my dad had cheated on my mum because I found a calendar full of naked women in his van glove box ! I was 13 or 14 at the time. The point being, it could be something as silly as that! I don't know if I'd panic...unless I had my own suspicions.

Cherry_Bomb

That's a pretty horrible situation to be in!

If it was me I know I wouldn't be able to keep it to myself. I'd have ti tell my Oh what I'd read just to gauge his reaction. I certainly wouldn't ask your child about it yet

mountainofdebt

Well do you have any suspicions?

notnew

It is not inconceivable that it could be true.

It sounded like they had seen some messages that dad had sent - not sure if on phone or FB or how? Really tricky situation - don't want child to be worrying over nothing, but at same time if there is something going on then need to know

Foxn86

You don't want to confront your teenager as it may cause problems with him thinking you are snooping. He may also feel bad if he has caused any trouble.

I wouldn't just leave it though as it will annoy you, and there may or may not be something in it. I would speak with my husband and see how he reacts and what he says. Then hopefully he can put your mind at rest and with instinct you should know if he's telling the truth or not. You may find it was all over something really silly

notnew

Bit of background - there have been some problems in the past. I can't tell if he is telling the truth or not.

There hasn't been any suspicious behaviour recently, but given the previous incident, which I discovered from emails/texts - in a way I wouldn't be surprised. Sad as that sounds.

Muscle750

Ask yourself is he disappearing for hours on end has he changed etc plenty of ways of sniffing out the truth ask your kids if they've noticed a change etc if he disappears out for the evening plenty of ways of finding out where he's gone doing etc check mileage on car if he says he's going to pub two miles away and then its done 15 more next day etc

notnew

no, none of that - but then there wasn't before.

Foxn86

That's a shame if hes done it to you before and whats even more sad now is your child is worrying about it !

I would perhaps just ask him outright, and explain that your child is now worrying about this. This may make him take notice that your child is involved. You don't deserve to be treated like this either I really hope its gets sorted out for you the way you want it to.
And if he is silly enough to be messing around again I would walk you deserve more !