Hoarding - Springing Ahead

mothernerd

Well done pigpen. Try to congratulate yourself on what you have achieved not on what is still left to do. You may not have done as much as you wanted to,but you did something.

45 small items have gone to the charity shop bin in the library,mainly kitchen tools. Until recently they weren't surplus, they were either being used by DS2 (was renting my old house but now moved into a shared house that 'already has everything') or put aside for DS3. He told me last week that it is looking like it will be the year after next before he and his gf can afford to set up home together (sigh). Whilst perfectly serviceable,I am not hanging on to all these bits for another 2 or 3 years.

Eyeing up some of the larger items now,my cake tins still make me smile but as I am a diabetic when I make cake they are low in sugar and have to go in the freezer to 'keep'. It's a waste of time putting cake for DS3 in a tin (unless I am trying to hide it from him). If DS3 finds cake,it disappears. Don't really use the small blender (never used some of the attachments) as I have a stick blender with three heads and that covers everything I use it for. Hospice shop may benefit from it - took DS2's duplicate kettle/ toaster/sandwich maker two weeks ago.

I bought DS3 a kettle for the Christmas before last. He also has his own towels and other bits - I am ever hopeful (the other two got these when they went away to university but he stayed home and went to the nearest one).

silvasava

Not been doing much decluttering. I did 'Kondo' my teatowels & oven mitts & the surplus ones are now waiting to go to the CS. Managed to sell DH's CD player so decluttered that & some bubble wrap and a carton Not much else though. Must admit I've only mildly been Kondo'ing - it has enabled me to 'release' stuff that had an emotional attachment but I'm not sure about the 'Joy' aspect either -did smile at your DH Ivyleaf

dragonette

Hi, I've only posted here a few times, but it feels more like a safe home than the konmarie or decluttering threads. It helps that I've been lurking since the first thread started.

The catalyst for me actually thinning down my stuff is illness - I've been signed off as unfit for work for the last three months with fatigue and just can't cope with the amount of stuff I own.

I know I have hoarding tendencies, and used to live with a hoarder so have a really bad reaction to the visual noise of clutter.

Part of why here feels safer, is that I'm finding I freeze when making decisions. The fatigue that is making this necessary is making it incredibly difficult to make decisions, and makes it easy to make excuses.
' Oh, ofc I can't do my clothes today, I'll be too drained to put the ones I'm keeping away and then I won't be able to get into bed'

EXCUSES, yet true. Arg!!!!

Happygreen

OH is far worse than myself, at least I am trying to get my things in order but he just can't find the energy. Occasionally I throw all his newspapers on a pile and change his sheets or vacuum, but his "desk" rubbish tip I leave well alone. I think he's overwhelmed by inertia...he probably wouldn't do it if he had an ultimatum either.

ivyleaf

dragonette wrote: »

Hi, I've only posted here a few times, but it feels more like a safe home than the konmarie or decluttering threads. It helps that I've been lurking since the first thread started.

The catalyst for me actually thinning down my stuff is illness - I've been signed off as unfit for work for the last three months with fatigue and just can't cope with the amount of stuff I own.

I know I have hoarding tendencies, and used to live with a hoarder so have a really bad reaction to the visual noise of clutter.

Part of why here feels safer, is that I'm finding I freeze when making decisions. The fatigue that is making this necessary is making it incredibly difficult to make decisions, and makes it easy to make excuses.
' Oh, ofc I can't do my clothes today, I'll be too drained to put the ones I'm keeping away and then I won't be able to get into bed'

EXCUSES, yet true. Arg!!!!

Gentle (((HUGS))) Dragonette, I have M.E. so I know how overwhelmed you must feel.

Might you be able to take out, say three tops or pairs of trousers, and see if you feel able to let one garment go, and put that garment into a carrier bag on one side, ready for other garments to join it on other days when you feel up to doing the exercise again?

If you only take out three things, hopefully you'll have enough oomph left to put away the ones you're keeping.

If you do it with trousers though, perhaps try to choose between just two pairs at a time; I know from experience how ridiculously knackering it can feel to try to put them back on the hanger, or to fold them (or even to even contemplate doing either of those things!).

ivyleaf

Happygreen I have so much sympathy for you.

OH and I are trying to get rid of a lot of our own stuff, so really I'm hoping it will prove "catching". OH finds it very hard to let stuff go. He came across his old slide rule the other day; I thought he'd binned it, but it turned out he'd only got rid of the plastic case, as it had started to degrade, but the slide rule itself is sitting about in the living room. At least it was in a box under the stairs before! *rolling eyes smiley*

dragonette

Ivyleaf - thank you! I suspect I have M.E. But still going through lots of tests to rule out other things. I'm trying to dehoard much as you described. The lat few weeks have been closer to deciding whether to eat or manage a shower, sadly.

Ah well, I'll get it done slowly! My new flatmate moves in tomorrow. So that room is clear at least!

Happygreen - I feel your pain, my ex was a terrible hoarder and it caused me so much anxiety. A.few years on however, and he's started clearing stuff on his own so it's possible for them to change!

Happygreen

Thanks, folks. There are a few positives in him not throwing anything away. He fixes tools (unless he can't find what he needs and then has to buy another of the same! ) and he can make useful things out of "stuff" . This is a skill I don't want to miss BUT I wish he had some sense of order and organisation, which would help sort the real rubbish from useful items and to actually find stuff. He just drops tools where he last used them and then months later asks me "where have you put this...."

I just listened to a books podcast and there was an interesting one on "stuff". Will listen again and post the detail here, it might be relevant to the thread.

thriftwizard

¡Hola, amigos! Back with a vengeance... everything ground to a halt as my stepfather gently pottered off from this mortal coil just as I shut down one of my fixed stalls. The resulting mess & chaos is still mostly with us, alas, but that's partly because I'm resisting the temptation to shove it all in the garage & forget about it. So today I parted with 6, yes 6, spare spinning wheels... taken on back when I had my shop, intended for refurb & selling on, but just for a change, I'd bitten off more than I could chew. My young woodworking friend proved to be a bit of a liability; brilliant on the odd occasion that he got his act together, but mostly flaky & slapdash, alas. So they have gone off to one of the UK's premier makers/refurbishers of said items, at a slight loss, but I need the space back more than I need to make a profit on them, and they need to be sorted out & put back to work.

In other news, I took a large screen from the garage to the Tip. A huge shame; I did have great & very achievable plans for it, but heaven only knows when I will next have the time to do something like that. Someone else will take it on & do it justice. It was joined by three big bags of stuff like dingy polycotton sheets that don't fit any of our current beds, which were evicted from a rather lovely Lloyd Loom ottoman that I sold earlier on this week. Unfortunately I can't persuade OH that vintage pink floral furniture is something he wants to share his living space with...

There's a big bag of wool jumpers in the back of the car, waiting to be dropped into the Salvation Army bin next time I'm passing. I've been told they don't waste any wearable clothing. These were from my own jumper drawer, haven't been worn this year and don't make me smile; I was just keeping them because they're "good" which is silly. I might have been able to sell them if I'd got round to evicting them earlier, but now they're out of season & I'm not storing them until next autumn.

Off now to ask around, in a new thread, out of genuine curiosity - how much clothes storage do people think is reasonable for one adult?

silvasava

No good asking me Thrift - I currently use 2 double and one triple wardrobe plus 2 underbed drawers and 2 underbed storage boxes and I've culled a load but obviously need to do more