Hoarding - Springing Ahead

greenbee

Ames wrote: »

I have made a little start. I've cleared the other side of the sofa to where I sit, I've got a little pile of books which I'll put away tomorrow when I've cleared space on the bookcase. I've also moved the stuff in the hallway so there's a (more or less) clear path to the door.

Tomorrow I've got a meeting a few doors down from a charity shop, so on my way I'm going to drop in a couple of bags of stuff that I've had sorted ready for the CS for months.

And this week I've started buying kobo books instead of real ones. I got a list last weekend of recommeded reads, and instead of doing my usual 'charity shop trawl' which usually leads to me hauling a couple of dozen books back, I've just downloaded to them. I think not acquiring more 'stuff' needs to be as much a priority as getting rid.

You've made a great start Ames. Try not to think about the big stuff - work on clearing the little stuff and, as you say, not acquiring MORE stuff.

When is your bin day? Can you give yourself a target to get X number of bags of stuff out on bin day? The same with recycling. Could you make yourself walk to the CS daily, with the aim of dropping off one bag a day? (I'm about to do this with the bottle bank as where I have moved to has no kerbside glass collection and the walk will do me good).

If you can gradually clear small spaces by getting the little bits out you can start to make it possible to get the mouldy stuff out of the wardrobe and take it apart to get it into the bin bit by bit...

kayester

not caught up on posts yet.
but i feel it is time to tackle the childrens bedroom, which includes emptying the wardrobe/drawers sorting clothes and tidying up. It isnt a very big room which also makes it harder.
There are piles of clean clothes everywhere as no room in cupboard due to general crap.
One of the worst rooms in the house....I am going to take before and after pictures. I wont post them until its finished.

Knit_Witch

Ames if everyday you can get one thing out of the house without anything else coming in then you will gradually get there - just sending hugs for where you are at, at the moment

whitewing

Ames, it may also help you to think that although an item could be useful, the free space and movement would be much, much more useful.

If any of the neighbours ask about when you're moving stuff, ask if they know someone who could help you move it. There may be someone with a car willing to take something for you just to have it gone.

You could also try phoning a local vicar and explaining the situation to them. They may be able to help with some practical arrangements and most are fairly realistic about not overwhelming you with God's word, ie don't feel that you have to be religious if you're not.

Do ask for help. A lot will turn you down but it only takes one person to say yes to help you take big steps.

metalswan

Delurks :-)
Just wanted to say a big thank you again to all who post on here, sharing their experiences and offering support. You make a big difference to me and many others :-)

I am still decluttering daily and now can say that (drumroll) my bathroom has no clutter and is clean and tidy. My kitchen is clean and has almost no clutter. There is nothing on the stairs and landing. My bedroom looks a LOT better but still a work in progress, can at least see almost all of the carpet now. The attic and cellar need an awful lot more work but mostly hubbys domain although he is on board more now he can see/ feel the benefit in the other rooms.

Compared to how it was at it's worst, wow. I used to have to tiptoe/ pick my way through and over bags and boxes, couldn't find anything, couldn't get to cupboards and wardrobes to get things out/ put away. Place was filthy. Never had anyone over and generally felt very guilty, ashamed, depressed etc about myself and my home.

For anyone who is at the beginning of their journey firstly ((HUGS)) and secondly, deep breath and have faith that you can do it. It took a long long time for my home to get to where it is now, along with a lot of emotional wrangles and tears but it did get here!

Thank you, you are all angels x

kayester

Brace yourselves. My before and after pictures, I have done A LOT today, all the bin liners you see near the end of the photos are what have GONE OUT of my house today Im so happy and also hoovered from top to bottom. and got few bundles of items on ebay, what doesnt sell will get binned too!

GreyQueen

:T Wow, kayester, that's a helluva lot of work for one day, and doesn't it look great! I hope you are going to give yourself a huge pat on the back.

I'm still chiselling away at it but have only been home since 4 pm and am feeling a bit whacked out. Tonight I will have supper and just aim to get that washed up after, a few bits ironed and the clothes airer down and put away. That and a little tidy-round will keep the place from disintegrating into a muddle. Which this tiny flat does in the blink of an eye.

Last night I cleared up a steel bowl which I'd had floating around the kitchen counter for months. It contained shredded candlewax for my candle re-making project and kept getting topped up but I haven't enough wax to do some more for a while, so it didn't need to be out.

But it was, because I figured it would be such a difficult thing to clean and I couldn't face it. Until I needed the space and wanted it back in the cupboard.

And, guess what? It took less than 5 mins to do. Me and my procrastination.......!

whitewing

Managed to get dry clothes away and the dishwasher unpacked before I left this morning.

After yesterday's decluttering, not only did it all get put away last night but DS even had a quick vac round while DH was showering DD. In my pre declutter days you would have had to move a mountain to get at the vacuum. I am still amazed at how much better a relatively clean area looks after a vac, and sometimes that means a quick vac twice in one day! That's unheard of, but such is the long way that I have come.

DH actually said, 'I don't think we've ever been so ahead of ourselves on a Sunday evening before.'

I was looking for some paperwork for work today, and instead of beating myself up because I couldn't find it, I realised that I could actually do it from scratch in half an hour. Because my thinking is clearer and because nothing has to be perfect. It was one of those things that lets someone tick something somewhere. I could have argued about the necessity but I just got on with it. A lesson I have learnt.

I still have some stuff to pull out tonight but at least there are only specific areas that it can be. There are a lot of places that you can clearly see it isn't.

Tomorrow DH has the morning off, so now our table is no longer a dumping ground, he is planning on doing some painting with DD.

All these benefits to a clear home.

Pitlanepiglet

Well done Metalswan, Kayester, Whitewing and all those who've stuck at it and achieved some success....:T

Keep at it folks, one step at a time....x

Ames

I took a bag of clothes and a bag of 'stuff' to the cs today. I'm not even sure what was in the bag of stuff - I got a load of stationery from freegle a few years ago and never sorted through it. It's gone now, along with a few other bits I chucked in the bag that were nearby.

I had a slight wobble about the clothes. I'd sorted them months ago, and the bag had a small tear through which I could see a jumper. 'Oh, but it's a really nice jumper, I can't get rid' I thought.

It's not a nice one, it's a horrible one that I got cheap in the sale at Tesco when I'd run out of clean clothes and only ever wore it when I had nothing else.

And I have lots of jumpers that are nice. Maybe not in the same colour (although who knows what I'll find in all the bags of clothes), but if I want to wear beige I have a very nice Monsoon cardi.

If I hadn't been reading the hoarding threads on here all last night I wouldn't have even recognised it as a wobble.

I was really worried that I'd buy stuff in the cs. Luckily I got parked right outside, so didn't need to use my crutch - I could manage to get into the shop and back out quickly, but couldn't stand aroud browsing. I also left my purse in the car. Even so I noticed a few things out of the corner of my eye, I'll have to make sure I don't go back and buy.

I had a meeting with my solicitor today (probate stuff to do with selling my late mum's house), and the stuff is about to hit the fan with family, so now's a dangerous time for me in terms of bringing stuff in to the flat. I shop to relieve stress, and I suppose to make me feel a bit more valued, when my family are telling me how little value I have (in this case literally - they're trying to rip me off over my inheritance).

I cleared out a couple of old purses at the weekend and found enough caffe Nero loyalty stamps for at least two free coffees. There's a cs for my favourite charity (local hospice) over the road. So I'm going to bribe myself with coffee to take stuff to the shop. Hopefully it'll satisfy my spending and treating myself urges without anything coming into the flat.

I think I need a new strategy in terms of dehoarding. I've been trying to do at least ten minutes a day, a different room every day. I start out at the beginning of the week and do loads, but it tails off by the end of the week. So I think I'm going to just work on one room until it's done.

I also need to stop 'tidying up', because all I do is move the piles around. I can't even call it musical chairs, since in that there is a reduction over time! So today's job is to sort through the dvd shelves next to the sofa. I can't remember the last time I watched one of them, especially since I got a netflix account. Once they've gone to the cs I'll have space for the notebooks that currently live on the sofa. They wont fit completely, but it'll be fine as a temporary home for them.

Bin day is tomorrow, so I'll do my usual Monday night grab as much rubbish as I can see and get rid. I've been doing a lot better at that lately - in the last couple of years there's only been two or three instances of finding rotting food that I hadn't put away and I'd forgotten about. Probably because that mainly happens when I binge, and I haven't been doing that as much lately.

Asking for help... I think it's due to having a narcissistic mother but I have a kind of iternal account book. I have to be in 'credit' to other people. So because I've had help from neighbours in the past, but not had much chance to repay them. So for now I'll just do the stuff I can manage on my own - there's plenty of that to be getting on with!

I really wish I'd found the first part of this thread when it started. Thank you all so much for the support, and for sharing your stories, and pictures, you're all a huge inspiration.

Total for today: Two bags out, nothing in.