Hoarding - Springing Ahead

ginnyknit

Lobby you did good, no shoe box home to attempt to fill - all hoarders seem to collect boxes to organise stuff - I am slowly getting out of that habit and if I empty a box it gets re-cycled immeadiately. Did another box or 2 upstairs but was freezing so did the bookshelves down here and now have 3 shelves tidy :j

Ames, I have to agree, go to the Gp asap.. Now you know you are going to move you have the incentive to start today - yes today! Start slowly but surely with a bin bag in hand and do a small area at a time. Will the council do a collection for you? You can probably book it online then you wont have to speak to anyone and could get rid of a good bit all at once which will make you feel good. Pop on here and tell us how much you have acheived and we will spur you on, wish we could help you in the real world but support is better than nothing. we are allowed 3 free collections a year so if you havent had any since last April you have 3 left till April this year. It sounds as if you are motivated, the biggest step was telling us all so you go girl :j

Ames

Thanks.

I'm not sure what my GP can actually do though? I have lots of mental health problems but referalls never get anywhere, even for serious things, so I can't see how there'll be anything for hoarding, when the psych doesn't even reply to concerns about me having a fairly serious manic episode.

Last time I was under the acute team I'd just booked the deep clean, and I told the people at the hospital about the state of the place and they didn't seem bothered other than to say the deep clean was a good idea. Although I didn't talk in terms of hoarding or the mental health reasons behind it all.

I can book waste collection online, but they don't turn up. The estate is really badly laid out, even emergency services get lost trying to find the right street. The last couple of times I've booked collections I've had to report it twice and then excalate to a complaint before they've actually taken the stuff. And I can't handle neighbours and passersby knocking on the door asking when I'm going to get rid of it.

I'm going to start with the small stuff though. I've split the flat into seven sections, and I'm going to do one thing - ten mins of throwing away, or go through one box or drawer, etc - every day. I'm about to eat now but when I've finished I'll move the two things blocking the hallway so I can at least get out if there's a fire.

I'm a few pages into the first hoarding thread, and my eyes are a little bit misty from recognising what people are talking about. It's so good it's not just me, and instead of constantly feeling ashamed I can take inspiration and get on with sorting it out.

lobbyludd

thanks GK!

sorry Ames was called away mid post so didn't see yours before me.

You are amongst friends here I can understand the physical barrier thing too, but as well you know it is preventing you having a real sanctuary.

It must seem very overwhelming to think of trying to do everything in just 7 days, but you aren't in that position yet. When I'm overwhelmed with it all I have to stop looking at the totality, and zero in on something (anything), and perhaps something that is emotionally easy for me. and get it done/out.

Not sure what your constraints are re going outside? but if tonight you could focus on clearing a very small part of a room, perhaps a small surface, or a chair or a tiny corner, just something that when you are feeling overwhelmed you can look at that and see space and progress? and if possible get the stuff from that area out in a bin bag or box to be collected (you have routine refuse collections? - I've been known to pop a bag on another person's refuse pile when necessary.

that wardrobe....this probably isn't helpful, but if it's empty I'd take a hammer to it! they are much smaller dismantled. It feels great too, and if you are able to get out and about you could take it away in bits and bobs.

great ideas above, but most of all, please don't feel ashamed, especially not here (())

GreyQueen

(((((Ames)))).

I agree with the others about taking a few pix and asking the GP for help. Things have gone badly for a long time for it to be as you describe, and I really think you need to have professional help. I don't mean this as a personal criticism and hope you won't take it that way.

I work as a customer services person in local government. We book bulky waste collections for householders all the time. What we define as bulky waste is items that a householder would normally expect to take with them at a move; furniture, appliances, carpets, misc but not a ripped out kitchen or bathroom.

It's normal practice for "bulkies" to have to be brought to the edge of the property line/ kerb for pick-up. Is that something you could do? I don't know what you have to move or what physical limitations you may have.

My council still owns its own stock and tenancy officers are having to intervene where hoarded homes are coming to light. Everyone on our side of the equation is living in dread of more deaths by fire in hoarded homes. It's a big issue. So much so that we are having to take fire safety officers to some people's homes............

Lots of local authority services are accessible via their own websites, if you're more comfortable using a web-form. Or you could try emailing them. Me and mine are lovely peeps and pretty unflappable; pretty much guarantee you won't cause shock or amazement in a local authority call centre.

Patchwork_Quilt

Sending you a hug Ames... You are not alone. This thread was started to support all those dealing with clutter issues. Sorry I don't have any professional advice, like the above posters but I am praying you will have strength and dignity over the next few days.

Patchwork_Quilt

Went and looked in the Cupboard of Doom today and was appalled to find yet more china. Stuff I thought I'd boxed up and sent off months ago. That now has to be repacked in a cardboard box and added to the 0xfam mountain. We only just cleared it this afternoon! Unfortunately, I just can't let go of one set. It's just so pretty. However, there is also the lurking feeling that 'it could be valuable'. This is fairly unlikely. No-one uses tea sets these days. Anyway, I am just about to go on 3bay and prove it one way or another. I am annoyed that I am letting this be an excuse. If I keep it, it should be because I love it.

In other news, two tops and a broken cup (used as a pencil pot) have gone out. Plus a truly ancient pillow case with holes in it. It was a remnant of my distant childhood and I was astonished that it still existed but it's a disgrace! I have the memories.

Also, I braved lashing rain and huge puddles to get rid of the recycling. The empty chocolate tin went in, as well as some of the jars I was given the other day - the labels just won't come off.

Lastly, I repurposed a tiny heart-shaped charm that was part of a weeny little bracelet given to me as a baby. The bracelet has been too small for decades! I was fed up of keeping it but couldn't part with it so I took the charm off the bracelet and am wearing it as a pendant with the chain from something else. At last, it has some use.

Onwards and upwards, towards the light.

Ames

Lobby - I'd quite happily take a hammer to the wardrobe if I could get to it... although it's still got some clothes and shoes in it (they'll need binning too now though).

GreyQueen - Bulky waste has to be kept on the property, and kept dry and safe. I think the problem is that the front of the houses (the only 'land' I have with my flat) faces inwards to a pedestrian only square. So the Bulkies go to what they think is the front of the property (which is the back, and doesn't have any doors) and assume that there's nothing there to pick up. Whereas if I put anything there it would be classed as flytipping. Or, they go to the wrong street - the layout and signage is terrible and even people who live on the estate get lost.

I'm a bit skeptical about what help might be available through the council. My flat is damp, doesn't have heating and so is riddled with mould, half the windows are rotting in their frames and the other half don't open, and repairs just don't get done. I've not had washing facilities (wetfloor shower room with broken shower pump) for nearly two years - I've reported it a few times but nothing gets done, my support worker's been trying to get it sorted since summer without much success. There's a few minor repairs that have been waiting a few years too. All of which adds to my mental clutter problems - if I/the flat don't mean enough to the council for them to do repairs then why should I put a lot of work in when my possessions just get ruined by mould etc anyway. Not to mention that when I'm sitting down covered in blankets and can see the steam coming out of my mouth when I breathe it's hard to motivate myself to do housework in the cold. But they're just excuses, and I need to kick myself up the backside and get on with it.

I have made a little start. I've cleared the other side of the sofa to where I sit, I've got a little pile of books which I'll put away tomorrow when I've cleared space on the bookcase. I've also moved the stuff in the hallway so there's a (more or less) clear path to the door.

Tomorrow I've got a meeting a few doors down from a charity shop, so on my way I'm going to drop in a couple of bags of stuff that I've had sorted ready for the CS for months.

And this week I've started buying kobo books instead of real ones. I got a list last weekend of recommeded reads, and instead of doing my usual 'charity shop trawl' which usually leads to me hauling a couple of dozen books back, I've just downloaded to them. I think not acquiring more 'stuff' needs to be as much a priority as getting rid.

Pitlanepiglet

Patchwork_Quilt wrote: »

Plus a truly ancient pillow case with holes in it. It was a remnant of my distant childhood and I was astonished that it still existed but it's a disgrace! I have the memories.

Oooh me and you both PQ, in my "great linen sort out" the other week, I finally got rid of a Pierrot doll (remember those - I had to google I'd forgotten what they were called) single duvet cover.

It was the first pretty duvet cover I had (I was born at the end of the 60's we had blankets, sheets and eiderdowns for most of my childhood) and I have moved the thing around too many houses and flats in the intervening years!

It was in remarkably good condition....I'm sure I might have been able to use it......but it's GONE. As you say, I don't need it to remember the good times x

ginnyknit

Patchwork and pitlane, well done you both for moving on with things from the distant past - thats a hard one.

I found 2 of Dgs's bibs stashed in the back of the drawer yesterday and I really didnt need or want them so off they went. However his first pair of shoes that were also jamming up a drawer are now in a box frame over the mantle and very good they look.

I have a respite day tomorrow so will deliver to the Cs the latest bag then stand in the bedroom and decide how to proceed. I have a lot to do this week but am going to spend at least 2 x 30 minute sort outs everyday.

keep up the fab work and anyone lurking who needs to talk, join us on our adventure because thats what it is - rediscovering our homes.

whitewing

When I graduated, I did actually get the T shirt! It had the university crest on the front and a list of graduates on the back. When it arrived, I realised that it had got us under a slightly different degree subject heading than we had actually got. So not only was it actually a pointless purchase (who was actually going to wear it anyway), it was wrong!

So why have I only thrown it out today?