Appropriate spend for hen do guests

freyasmum

When my sister got engaged, she asked me to be her MOH. I was delighted and said of course. I'd be honoured :j

She had a hen night her house while the stag went away to Ibiza. It was a good little night. Everyone had fun.

She wanted to go abroad, I advised her that not everyone could go, and that she'd be better having something here.

She insisted over and over that she wanted to go abroad and started planning three nights in Marbella with the other bridesmaid. She told me it would be £350 and I would have to book it through her. I said it was a ridiculous amount of money, especially as a single mum - the rest of her group are lawyers, accountants, couples living together with shared bills, while I have everything to pay myself. The week after she told me she hadn't booked mine yet and I 'owed' her another £100 cos it had gone up. I foolishly paid this. Then it went on and on, if I wanted luggage, I'd have to pay another £100, and then if I wanted to do anything else, I'd have to pay more. Every time she contacted me, it was only to tell me that I had to give her more money to be able to go. It made me hurt so much that I couldn't go to my only sisters hen 'night' - to the point that I couldn't sleep in the weeks coming up to it - and that she made it so obviously clear that she didn't care whether I went or not.

She then said she didn't want me as her MOH and gradually cut me out of the day.

Begrudgingly, she eventually agreed to have one here for the people who couldn't go abroad. She chose the most expensive restaurant around, turned up an hour and a half late and then b*ggered off to the city with her mates, leaving everyone who didn't want to go straight after dinner, not even at 8.

£200 is a ridiculous amount of money for a hen, no matter how close you are, or are supposed to be, to the hen.

Obviously everyone is different - some people ARE lawyers, accountants, have excellent incomes and circumstances. But if it were me getting married then I'd be absolutely mortified to even suggest spends like that to my friends.



Just to add, I do NOT mean to compare you to my sister. Just saying that it's too much, IMO

girl_withno_name

Invites sent out on Monday... 3 people have accepted, 2 declined and 10 not responded yet - might be too early to say whether that speaks for itself though!

tiggerjj

Crikey guys, looks like i have been worrying for nothing!
This is what i am planning for my best friends hen night (I am MOH)
Please give thoughts/opinions

Sat 1pm going riding (cost £35) optional, and beach fun is free alternative for the allergic ones/people who dont want to go for any reason.
Then subject to perfect weather, fun/chilling on the beach.
Getting ready, home made cocktails and fun games at my house,

Then dinner at a nice restaurant, (which can cater for all the weird food allergy people) cost main £11.50

Then we will dance the night away, for all who need beds/ floor space it will be provided.

Sunday for those who want a joint walk with the stags...

So ideas for games, and suggestions about my plan more than welcome!!
Thanks

74jax

tiggerjj wrote: »

Crikey guys, looks like i have been worrying for nothing!

Sat 1pm going riding (cost £35) optional, and beach fun is free alternative for the allergic ones/people who dont want to go for any reason.
Then subject to perfect weather, fun/chilling on the beach.
Getting ready, home made cocktails and fun games at my house,

Then dinner at a nice restaurant, (which can cater for all the weird food allergy people) cost main £11.50

Then we will dance the night away, for all who need beds/ floor space it will be provided.

Sunday for those who want a joint walk with the stags...

So ideas for games, and suggestions about my plan more than welcome!!
Thanks

I think it's all relative, if you've been worrying about the hen you've planned, maybe you can tell us what about and we can try and help. Just because the OP's on here cost £200 and yours is cheaper, doesn't mean if you were worrying before, you shouldn't now - if you knw what I mean (I'm not entirely sure I do anymore :rotfl:) but I think you know your guests better than us, do you think it might be the cost or what your plans are?

If people don't want to do the ride, so they stay on the beach? if it's wet etc do they just join you at home for the cocktails?

I think you could make the cocktail :beer: part really good :j I am having a cocktail making party in a venue, and we play a variety of drinking games (none alcoholic included), you could google that and it might bring up suggestions.

As for the meal on the evening, If its a set menu, I'd maybe print it off beforehand so everyone can have a muse over it and look forward to the food - or is that just me :rotfl:

It sounds lovely, and I'm sure you're worrying over nothing.

tiggerjj

74jax
i was worried about expecting people to pay £35 for the riding.
in case of wet weather there is a pub next to the beach/by the riding place so people can chill/chat although the girls who will be beaching will probably just wetsuit up and dive in the sea with surf boards regardless of rain...

basically im a bit worried coz im organising this (im the only bridesmaid) I'm not in the correct country (and wont be till the day before) and have never actually been to a hen party!!!

i just want it to be the best party and awesome night for the hen and so im worrying that it wont be good enough or bla bla bla

restaurant is kinda a set menu, there are loads of choices, and the menu is online so people can have a look beforehand, it a veggie place

and half the hens i have never met!! ahhhhhh panic
as far as i know all the girls have full time professional jobs (except the one on mat leave) so objectively i think the cost is fine, but still im worrying