Appropriate spend for hen do guests

cabriolean

74jax wrote: »

I don't think anyone should be told they HAVE to spend that amount. A hen party for me is close friends, and so I would (and am able) spend £200.

i think the problem may lie when you start inviting all and sundry to a wedding - I wouldn't spend that amount to go to a work friends hen party for instance.

I could save up if given several months' notice, but even if someone really close to me wanted to have a hen party next week for that amount, I don't have the money, I simply do not have it.

Some of my friends and cousins are significantly better off than I am, and while none of them would dream of saying you have to spend £xxx to come to my party before now I have been 'surprised' with dinner reservations when I'd been invited to a house for a movie-hangout-family reunion I didn't even really want to go to. Someone offered to cover for me thinking that I didn't have the money on me, not that I couldn't really afford it.

lovecake

Yikes!! I think this sort of amount *might* be ok for people really close to the bride, (although I went to the canaries for a week for £250 so I wouldn't consider it) but could there not be cheaper alternative on offer?

I really didn't want everyone spending that amount on my hen so what we did was have two options - we organised a spa day for the Mum's, the Sisters and two close friends; £89 all in for dinner, bed and breakfast, a half hr treatment and full use of the leisure facilities. We also went water zorbing which cost £10. We shared 2 cars and had some sandwiches for lunch so all in it was just over £100 each, but as I said that was just for family and two close friends.

The following night for all the rest of the girls we hired the lovely conservatory function room of a great local bar - it cost £12 a head for a gorgeous buffet and half a bottle of wine each. We chatted, danced, played games and then those who wanted to came out to a club, so it was only £12 for those that came to the bar and probably about £25 for those that came out to the club. I think that is plenty to spend to be honest.

What happened to the tradition of just going down your local for the hen and stag? I don't understand why people want to go abroad or do extravagant things. For me, the most important thing was that everyone I wanted to be there was able to come and that meant making it affordable. I think people tend to get carried away - it doesn't need to be expensive to be special and memorable.

girl_withno_name

I can't say I'm really relishing the thought of £200 for a night or two, especially with only 3 months to go (and our holiday in between)... I can only imagine the reactions of those she hasn't seen in years, have kids, don't have full time jobs, or are actually friends of the groom.

But... it's been discussed with the bride to be, and she wants two nights away, spa treatments and surfing (I assume lessons). That'll rule out both people who can't afford it and who can't take a whole weekend away at that time. Hopefully this won't be done as a package because I can see people not wanting to do surfing particularly, and definitely not wanting to pay for it if they're not participating!

caz2003uk

£200!!!! I couldn't dare ask anyone to spend that amount of money especially when it's technically for me! (I hope that is read in the context it's meant)

My hen night is a week Saturday! We are going to a local Chinese £8.90 a head and then on into town for drinks .... Some will not want to do more than have the meal which is fine by me, the rest of us will party the night away!

I couldn't bare to be worrying about all the rest! Why is there this need to turn a 'hen night' into a hen weekend with loads of travelling and crap activities? I don't get it personally! Lol

Funky_Bold_Ribena

girl_withno_name wrote: »

I can't say I'm really relishing the thought of £200 for a night or two, especially with only 3 months to go (and our holiday in between)... I can only imagine the reactions of those she hasn't seen in years, have kids, don't have full time jobs, or are actually friends of the groom.

But... it's been discussed with the bride to be, and she wants two nights away, spa treatments and surfing (I assume lessons). That'll rule out both people who can't afford it and who can't take a whole weekend away at that time. Hopefully this won't be done as a package because I can see people not wanting to do surfing particularly, and definitely not wanting to pay for it if they're not participating!

It does make me laugh. Hen nights are supposed to be about spending an evening with friends and family. Now everyone must be a little princess and get what they want or they will scream and scream until they are sick. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

katie1812

That's a lot!! I wouldn't expect my friends to pay that and I wouldn't want to pay that for someone else's. For mine, three of us went to a spa for one treatment, and then my mum did us a tea party... then in the evening we went our for a meal so it was only about £30 each at the most really which I think is reasonable.

Turtle

It's unlikely I'd spend that much money on a hen do unless I was better off than I am! However, in 4 hours my OH is going on a friend's stag do in Spain, it cost £200 for travel and accommodation and no doubt he'll spend another couple of hundred when he's there.

girl_withno_name

Turtle wrote: »

It's unlikely I'd spend that much money on a hen do unless I was better off than I am! However, in 4 hours my OH is going on a friend's stag do in Spain, it cost £200 for travel and accommodation and no doubt he'll spend another couple of hundred when he's there.

Asked a couple of colleagues and this (about £400) seemed to be their expected spend for a hen/stag weekend (it not being a whole weekend didn't seem to cross their minds!)... They seemed to think I was just being stingy.

daisiegg

girl_withno_name wrote: »

Asked a couple of colleagues and this (about £400) seemed to be their expected spend for a hen/stag weekend (it not being a whole weekend didn't seem to cross their minds!)... They seemed to think I was just being stingy.

To be honest I don't think I would go on a hen WEEKEND. My weekends are too precious! I'd do a day or an afternoon or an evening...but not a whole weekend.

Pinzy

The cost is relative, it seems reasonable for what you have. If your group of friends are the type that can afford it, then it's all good. You'll find out when you contact them.

I've said that I'd just like a local comedy night and meal, and will likely push them towards Red Hot Buffet because then everyone will find something they like to eat.

The most recent hen night I attended involved a comedy night and meal out in a different town, so minibus cost was on top, and when we ended up losing a very drunk someone it was more of a worry being somewhere strange (only found her because eventually some stranger answered her mobile for her). She also did a spa day, but quite a few didn't attend due to cost.

The next one I'll be going to is at a local roller disco (sounds great fun even though I can't skate at all!), so food will likely be burgers and chips at the place.

I'd love to have a limo and spa and have people staying in a hotel with a posh full english the next morning (and the water zorbing sounds brill!) but I know that most couldn't afford it (including me!). On the other hand a mini festival and camping would be cheap and great fun! You lot have inspired me though - I may have a look at cheap fun day activities. It'd be good to do something a bit different.

To the point - my appropriate spend (before drinks) would be £40-50.