Appropriate spend for hen do guests

girl_withno_name

Hi all,

I'm helping the maid of honour arrange the hen do for a friend's birthday later this year. But... I've never been on a hen do before and wonder what's the usual spend for guests?

We're currently looking at £160 excluding travel, drinks (although are considering a cocktail making which would include some) and t-shirts... so very likely to exceed £200 per person ... is this generally about what people expect to spend or more?? I dunno

Thanks for your help!!

daisiegg

I'm confused...is it a hen do or a birthday?

But even so....sorry, but I think that sounds WAY too much to expect people to spend! I hate this new idea of 'I'm getting married so you need to come and do some activities that you may or may not have chosen to do, wearing a tacky t shirt (ergh) and pay hundreds of pounds for the privilege'. If I were invited to a hen do that would cost me in excess of £200 I have to say I just wouldn't go.

I had my hen at the weekend and we went wine tasting in London, which cost between £28 and £38 each depending on which package people opted for. We then went out for dinner and more drinks. However, one of my friends who is really skint said goodbye after the wine tasting because she couldn't afford to come to the meal (which was Zizzis, by the way, trying to keep the costs down). That was fine - she managed to only spend £28 (plus travel) and still celebrate with me. Other people stuck to their budgets in terms of what they drank, what they chose to eat, etc - but the point is, it was very important to me to make sure it was affordable to everyone. I think it is almost arrogant to expect people to spend loads of money to come and celebrate with you! My top priority when organising my hen do with my maid of honour was making sure people could come and could do it by spending an amount they felt comfortable with.

And, you know, we had an absolutely brilliant time - everyone involved said it was one of the best days/nights out they have had in years.

Mind you, this is just my opinion. Other people might be fine with it and I suppose you will find out when you invite people - after all, you won't be forcing people to come - if it is too expensive, they can say no. I suppose find out what the bride's priority is - doing something that costs hundreds of pounds, or having as many of her loved ones as possible there. If she really wants to do whatever this thing is and would be perfectly happy if there were only a handful of you there - then I suppose it would be fine

moonbabe58

That seems a lot to me. Some of the best hen do's I have been to have been where there are lots of different activities going on over the day/weekend and you can pick and choose what you join in with to suit your budget/fit around families etc.

I really don't think I would be keen on spending over £100 on a hen do to be honest.

cats2012

I had my hen do the other weekend and we did a spa day for £60 a person and then a meal and night out which probably cost each person around £50, BUT we all stayed at my house (so no accomodation costs) and people were welcome to do either or both of those activities, it just so happened that everyone did both.

I'm going to a hen do in a couple of weeks that's costing £150 without drinks etc and I'm going because it's a great friend, but am pretty annoyed about the price.

girl_withno_name

It is a hen do, sorry - typo!

In fairness to the bride, she's handed all planning over to the maid of honour so doesn't know what's been discussed.. although she's not given much guidance either and any she has is around what to do rather than budget, and it keeps changing all the time!

I too personally think £200 is too much and there are others in the group who earn less or have kids to think about... I think the maid of honour wants to make it really special and so we've got limo travel, daytime activity, evening meal and drinks, a night's accommodation and following day spa activity. I didn't like to say anything until I'd asked though - I might look like a right cheapskate if this is the "going rate" for a hen do!

lazer

I think £200 is too much as well.

For mine - I sent people details of what I was thingking of - one option was camping at a local festival - cost about £35 and the other was glamping, with catered bbq and music and option of pamper treatments - cost between £80 and £100 and used peoples reactions to decide which to do

74jax

For mine we have arranged 3 activities, and people are invited to as much as they like.

So they could pay £39 to come to the spa and have treatments in the morning, £25 to come to a cocktail making class in the afternoon or £25 to go on a river cruise at night.

Several have paid for all day, and others have picked amongst what they would like.

i think giving as much options as you can, helps include everyone.

wendz86

I also gave over information of how much things would be and gave people a choice of if they want to come to one bit or both but everyone chose to come to both. We are paying £45 for hotel each and £15 for afternoon tea and craft then a night out but people are free to spend what they want there.

jackieblack

girl_withno_name wrote: »

very likely to exceed £200 per person ...

:eek: HOW MUCH??????!!!!! :eek:

I wouldn't be going, no matter how good a friend they were! :eek:

girl_withno_name

jackieblack wrote: »

:eek: HOW MUCH??????!!!!! :eek:

I wouldn't be going, no matter how good a friend they were! :eek:

This is the reaction I'm worried will happen across the board (I'm already thinking "Oh God" myself)...

If it was my hen then I'd be plenty happy with meal at Gourmet Burger Kitchen and a night at the comedy club (£4 train ticket home not included)

Spoken to the maid of honour and she was getting worried about the same thing! Gonna have a chat with the bride-to-be to suss out what she's looking for, where she's looking for and how much to spend, while searching online for cheaper ideas....

catmonkey85

What were you thinking of doing to make it £160? We can maybe suggest cheaper alternatives?

I've been on hen dos that cost more than that, and less than that. It's more making sure you get value for your budget and look at your attendees. ie I'd rather pay a more and stay in a nice cottage than go super cheap in a hostel!