Appropriate spend for hen do guests

girl_withno_name

Not rocket science, but difficult when the hen has given yes,no and maybe responses to just about everything! We also don't know all the guests, or exactly how to contact them at the moment (obviously trying to sort this so we'll be able to send invites)

All we're trying to do is arrange a great celebration that hopefully everyone can afford, will attend and enjoy...and that the bride won't feel let down by!

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Even harder for us to determine what anyone can afford, what with the even more limited contact with the guests.

Seriously, only they will tell you if your £200 is over their budget.

podperson

I think you do need to try and pin the bride down a bit on what she wants. I know I'd be quite happy with a 'night in' style hen-do as long as everyone could make it as that would be the important thing to me - but I do know some people who might think of that as a bit 'boring' or not special/different enough and would want to go out and be doing things. I assume you're a good friend of the bride so which way do you think she'd feel?

cats2012

girl_withno_name wrote: »

What did you do meal-wise out of interest?

Was thinking we could ask around for anyone with pink throws / cushions / pillows / sheets to use to decorate the living and dining room, buy or make some pink cupcakes, get a beautician for treatment, make our own cocktails, maybe sort some SingStar or other games (murder mystery or something)

But would this be big and "out" enough, hmmm...

Oh no, sorry, to clarify, we did go out. We did a spa day and a meal/night out but with no accomodation costs it cost about £100 in total

Dragonista

Everyone seems a bit shocked by the cost. Personally, I think £200 is reasonable for a weekend including the accommodation and all the activities you have planned. I believe that true friends will make every effort to go, but I think the idea of being able to pick and choose what you go to helps those less able. I earn under £20K, it's about priorities, I'd make it happen.

Funky_Bold_Ribena

Dragonista wrote: »

Everyone seems a bit shocked by the cost. Personally, I think £200 is reasonable for a weekend including the accommodation and all the activities you have planned. I believe that true friends will make every effort to go, but I think the idea of being able to pick and choose what you go to helps those less able. I earn under £20K, it's about priorities, I'd make it happen.

Surely a true friend wouldn't want their true friends to get into debt for their hen night? Works both ways.

cabriolean

Dragonista wrote: »

Everyone seems a bit shocked by the cost. Personally, I think £200 is reasonable for a weekend including the accommodation and all the activities you have planned. I believe that true friends will make every effort to go, but I think the idea of being able to pick and choose what you go to helps those less able. I earn under £20K, it's about priorities, I'd make it happen.

The problem is that while the price is reasonable for what it is, I literally cannot afford it. :eek: Including my rent which is paid for by my parents and the money I get occasionally from ebay etc. I get less than £10,000 and I have to pay travel costs of over £1000 per year (home and back, not including buses etc.)......

My housing deposit cost almost a third of my grant, travel back home takes up another fifth, textbooks (bought at the lowest possible price took up about a twelfth), a fifteenth towards my bridesmaid dress for my sister's wedding, and a twentieth towards replacing my laptop, a fortieth for electricity surcharges as my flatmates keep having people to stay, I also have an emergency fund in case something happens, laptop refusing to turn on one day which I put another fifteenth into etc.

That leaves me with less than a third for everything else including phone credit, other travel, entertainment, food, toiletries, gifts, I have also spent a significant amount to attend my best friend's birthday party, because we haven't seen each other in months due to the travel costs.

So if someone told me that I had to spend more than £200 on a hen party weekend before my next grant installment comes through, it would not be a 'matter of priorities', I wouldn't be able to 'make it happen', at least not without taking out a loan or asking my parents for more money, which considering my Dad is now semi-retired and we're saving up for my sister's wedding isn't really an option and I'd rather go into personal debt.

Maybe I'd be able to almost scrape it with my new laptop fund and emergency fund and my leftover money. But that wouldn't leave me any money for food, storing my stuff over the Summer, two birthdays, actual emergencies, the average life of a laptop is 3-5 years and mine was a refurbished one when I got it and I've already had it more than a year so it should die anytime now, it's already being a little weird (two keys don't work, the USB port doesn't always pick things up, and sometimes it take several attempts just to turn it on among other things), but I can't afford a new one yet so...........

Any real friend should be able to understand that.

It does depend on the general wealth of the people in question and how much notice they're given, I could afford £29 for the massage, facial and manicure offer currently up on Groupon, but not the £97 it would usually cost.

74jax

cabriolean wrote: »

So if someone told me that I had to spend more than £200 on a hen party
Any real friend should be able to understand that.

I don't think anyone should be told they HAVE to spend that amount. A hen party for me is close friends, and so I would (and am able) spend £200.

i think the problem may lie when you start inviting all and sundry to a wedding - I wouldn't spend that amount to go to a work friends hen party for instance.

girl_withno_name

Dragonista wrote: »

Everyone seems a bit shocked by the cost. Personally, I think £200 is reasonable for a weekend including the accommodation and all the activities you have planned. I believe that true friends will make every effort to go, but I think the idea of being able to pick and choose what you go to helps those less able. I earn under £20K, it's about priorities, I'd make it happen.

While it might be reasonable value for money, I'm more concerned about the absolute value of money - if people haven't got it, they haven't got it... and people can make every effort to go, but still not be able to afford it (or have to put it towards other higher priorities). One of the reasons I've offered to help with the arranging is because I feel like time is trundling on and the hen do is in 3 months with no plan, no invites (some people don't even know they're going to be invited I don't think) and I'm sure costs are going up all the time, or things just becoming unavailable because they're getting booked up.

As for value for money - there's a lot of activities in there, but I've still booked 8 nights accommodation, flights to Prague and airport parking for the same amount.

ellies_angel

For my eldest's hen we had a weekend in Edinburgh. Return train from Aberdeen to Edinburgh, 2 nights in serviced appartments, shop from Asda with first night in, 2nd day we had chocolate making, shopping, cocktail making, meal, disco, and on the final day more shopping lunch and train back. I think we all paid around £160. Saved over 4 months, and the £160 covered everything, taxi, drinks, etc only extra money spent was when we were shopping.

It was a great weekend away and us oldies loved the oppportunity to shop while the youngsters were nursing hangovers and beautifying themselves