Worried for friend

thorsoak

If his son has shown your son, quite probably he has shown others as well - it doesn't necessarily come from you/her.

You are making excuses as to why you shouldn't do something, imo!

Evil occurs when good men do nothing!

pukkamum

thorsoak wrote: »

If his son has shown your son, quite probably he has shown others as well - it doesn't necessarily come from you/her.

You are making excuses as to why you shouldn't do something, imo!

Evil occurs when good men do nothing!

You are completely right of course but I hate the thought of causing so much trouble if in fact all is perfectly well and fine, I do have an overactive imagination and worry that I am putting 2 and 2 together and getting a dean koontz storyline!

Amanda65

pukkamum wrote: »

The boys are in their first year of secondary school and are very good friends, I have no way of stopping my son being friends with him without really upsetting them both.

I don't think you can have any control over who your children are friends with at secondary school but you can have control over your son not being in an environment that you are uncomfortable with. At that age, I would explain to both boys that you are not happy for your DS to be around guns but perfectly happy for them to spend time together at your house. Apart from anything else, as others have pointed out, it's gainst the law for your DS's friend to have a gun in his bedroom. I am not for one minute suggesting anything untoward to would take place deliberately but accidents happen - a friend of mine knew a boy who was accidentally shot in the head with an air rifle at 14 and he is now a paraplegic

pukkamum wrote: »

You are completely right of course but I hate the thought of causing so much trouble if in fact all is perfectly well and fine, I do have an overactive imagination and worry that I am putting 2 and 2 together and getting a dean koontz storyline!

But what if you're not? Are you prepared to accept the consequences?

Errata

pukkamum wrote: »

You are completely right of course but I hate the thought of causing so much trouble if in fact all is perfectly well and fine, I do have an overactive imagination and worry that I am putting 2 and 2 together and getting a dean koontz storyline!

You claim the husband is 'stockpiling' guns and there are 'guns and knives' all over the house. Don't kid yourself that 'Jill' will have confided in only you, you can't know that and you say she has other friends beside you.
You can't know that the son hasn't told other kids about the air rifle, the guns and the knives.
Sit on your backside and do nothing, or do something sensible about this highly unusual situation. Your choice, your conscience.

coolcait

pukkamum wrote: »

.... She isconstantly on edge, she isn't sleeping and shes has chewed her lips to shreds.
....

Not surprising, if she's living with a controlling nutter, who has a house full of knives and guns, and an uncertain grip on reality.

OP, if even a fraction of your post is true, then you need to report these issues to the police - anonymously if needs be.

And you need to do it soon - expressing your concerns for Jill's safety too.

pukkamum

I am completely taking on board everything you all are saying, just how many guns would be a worry or illegal? Is just the fact of the boy having the gun in his room cause enough?
I believe he has at the least a shotgun, pistol and air rifle the knives are hung on the wall as 'decoration' but they are all knives at the end of the day, oh god what an awful position to be in, if I say nothing and something awful happens I will never ever forgive myself but what if I am wrong and it is a catalyst for something bad?

RAS

You can have what if conversations with the police. Not reporting something but asking what they would consider.

However, it might be better to speak to school first and find out if son has said anything - alert them.

Have you encouraged Jill to consider leaving? Put her in touch with Women's Aid? Perhaps using your phone and computer rather than hers? bear in mind that is dangerous in it own way so she needs to leave not traces.

pukkamum

RAS wrote: »

You can have what if conversations with the police. Not reporting something but asking what they would consider.

However, it might be better to speak to school first and find out if son has said anything - alert them.

Have you encouraged Jill to consider leaving? Put her in touch with Women's Aid? Perhaps using your phone and computer rather than hers? bear in mind that is dangerous in it own way so she needs to leave not traces.

I have very hesitantly suggested that things in her relationship are not as they should be, we even had a conversation about her moving into her mums house when she died but I don't honestly think she would leave him. He once left her for another woman, walked back in the door 2 yrs later put his arm round her and said I'm home again and she just accepted it.
I would be very worried about encouraging her to leave for fear of the fallout .

piglet25

So the guy is a control freak who has covered his body in religious tattoos, is telling his children to lie to their mother, wants to build a shelter and a tank in the forest for when the end of the world comes and has a collection of knives and guns? And you haven't gone into a police station to ask advice yet?
You need to go and tell someone as soon as possible, worst case scenario is that he flips out and seriously injures or kills one of them, and it does happen.
Secondly, an 11 year old boy not more than two miles from me was shot and killed in his friends bedroom by an air rifle ( accidently) approx three years ago.
Also, not more than a mile from me a lady was killed by her control freak of a husband who then set the house on fire to try to hide his tracks, his two children left without any parents because he is quite rightfully in prison.

Please go to the police and explain what you know, if you tell them it was ment to be kept secret by his wife they will use sensitivity when they go around, they do have some knowledge of these situations, rather risk your friend finding out you were worried enough to go to the police than hear about her being shot or stabbed to death. I couldn't live with that.

pukkamum

You are very right and to be honest although ignorance is not a defence I will say that having gleaned this info over a year I hadn't even put it together as being scary til now, I will be going to the police though.