Worried for friend

geminilady

SuzieSue wrote: »

Yes, but the OP can't easily control what happens at school. But by allowing her children to mix with Jill's children outside school the OP will send a message to her children that she is ok with that sort of behaviour.

It is the husbands behaviour, you are blaming the boy for talking about things he is exposed to at his grandparents the OP needs to talk to her friend.

pigpen

thorsoak wrote: »

I would suggest that you go to the police station, and ask to talk to the officer who deals with the licencing of guns. Tell him of your fears, and the fact that the son has a gun which he has shown to your son.

Guns are now supposed to be kept in a securely locked cabinet, to which children do not have access. These facts should be enough to warrant the police "just checking" on the security of his weapons.

I'm on this one..

Under 14
A person under 14 may use an air gun under the supervision of a person aged 21 or over, on private premises with the consent of the occupier of those premises.

from here

If it is just in his room they are breaking this rule so I'd report them to the police and SS for putting the children at risk.. you can do both anonymously.

I would continue to meet the mum and have the children round (purely so I could monitor what is going on in their house!!!) but I would just explain why they were not allowed to go to your friends house.. yes she and the children my be lovely but he is off his crump and needs keeping away from all children, including his own by the sound of it.

Most of the teachings of the JW end of the world scenario are not happening yet so I think we are safe for a few more years yet.

SuzieSue

geminilady wrote: »

It is the husbands behaviour, you are blaming the boy for talking about things he is exposed to at his grandparents the OP needs to talk to her friend.

Yes, of course it is the husband's fault, but the OP needs to protect her children and from what the OP has said, I don't think anything anyone says will change the husband's behaviour.

pukkamum

Wow can I just say what a relief it is to have others confirm my fears, there was a part of me wondering if I was being overly paranoid, and lets hope I am!
However, I am so very torn as to what to do for the best, Jill is not herself at the moment and I am really worried for her mental health, she was her mums carer and since she died Jill is sat at home. She isconstantly on edge, she isn't sleeping and shes has chewed her lips to shreds.
I think she relys on me heavily to keep her 'up' at the moment as she hasn't many other friends.
She would take me saying about the guns openly very well I know but it will deeply upset her knowing its guns keeping thekids away and I really dont want her to rock the boat with him I am too scared of consequences.

pukkamum

Amanda65 wrote: »

According to Pukka Mum this is happening at school as well



I would also be having a quiet word with the teacher to see if they have picked up on it and to tell her that your son is finding it scary. How old are the boys?

The boys are in their first year of secondary school and are very good friends, I have no way of stopping my son being friends with him without really upsetting them both.

Errata

Still nothing particularly wrong but add into the mix the fact he has now started stockpiling guns and knives (he has a gun licence and goes to the range) he has told her he wants to buy a plot of land in a forest to build a 'shelter' and a fully working tank ready for when the apocolypse comes!

A gun licence doesn't entitle someone to 'stockpile' guns, but that isn't why I would break all contact with this family. I'd break contact because the husband is clearly off his rocker if he believes he can build a tank! People who are off their rocker are unpredictable and that coupled with access to guns means trouble.

thorsoak

The most important thing is the safety of YOUR children, then the safety of your friend and her children.

Of course it would upset her to think that it is the presence of the guns which is keeping your children from her house - but that upset would be far less than the possible consequences arising from children playing with guns.

Should you tip off the police, it could be done anonymously - her husband would not need to know that you had done so.

FatVonD

Speak to the school about what the boy has been saying, they will then have a duty to mention it to social services if they share your concerns.

Is it possible he is being taken to church on the days he's seeing his dad's parents?

Personally I think anyone that *wants* to own a gun is exactly the sort of person that shouldn't be allowed to have one so, no, I wouldn't be letting my kids round there.

LannieDuck

pukkamum wrote: »

Wow can I just say what a relief it is to have others confirm my fears, there was a part of me wondering if I was being overly paranoid, and lets hope I am!
However, I am so very torn as to what to do for the best, Jill is not herself at the moment and I am really worried for her mental health, she was her mums carer and since she died Jill is sat at home. She isconstantly on edge, she isn't sleeping and shes has chewed her lips to shreds.
I think she relys on me heavily to keep her 'up' at the moment as she hasn't many other friends.
She would take me saying about the guns openly very well I know but it will deeply upset her knowing its guns keeping thekids away and I really dont want her to rock the boat with him I am too scared of consequences.

Wow. Firstly, where does the husband live? I'm really hoping it's no-where near me....:eek:

Secondly, I would continue my friendship with the woman, but no longer allow my child round to her house. I would meet up with her in a cafe to explain it was nothing to do with her/her son, but due to the guns. Yes, she may be upset, but frankly your child's welfare is more important.

The religious part is more difficult. I might try to find a way to mention it in passing to the mother. Maybe ask if the children are going to church more often now because your son says XX is talking about religion a lot more? So, not in a judgemental way, but just to see how she reacts. At least then you'll have made her aware if she wasn't previously.

I would consider mentioning it to the teachers too, but I don't think at the moment there's really that much to go on - a religious child isn't something they're going to get worried about.

pukkamum

thorsoak wrote: »

The most important thing is the safety of YOUR children, then the safety of your friend and her children.

Of course it would upset her to think that it is the presence of the guns which is keeping your children from her house - but that upset would be far less than the possible consequences arising from children playing with guns.

Should you tip off the police, it could be done anonymously - her husband would not need to know that you had done so.

This would be my ideal scenario telling the police but she has said that he told her not to tell anyone, I really dont think he wouldhave told anyone so will know she has and if she as I suspect has only told me, and she tells him that then I dont even want to imagine whatmay happen.